How can I talk my parents into letting me go 2 my 8th grade formal?

Question

My parent r very strict and this is my last year of middle skool and I need some tips 2 persuade them 2 letting me go.

Answer 1

I know you probably know all of this stuff, but maybe there's something somewhere in here that will help. I really hope you manage to change their minds. These are some tips on negotiation that I learned in project management training and other things I've picked up over the years.

Decide what is the worst outcome that you could accept. Maybe, it's to go to the party, but with your parents there to chaperone. Maybe, it's for you to go to the party, but leave 2 hours early. Maybe, it's to go to the party, but to call them every hour, with the understanding that you have to leave the party immediately if you miss a call. Don't tell your parents about it right away. You might be able to "give in" later and accept this solution in a way that makes them think that they won.

Then, start your negotiation.

The first thing to do is listen. Set your frame of mind. Tell yourself to be patient and that you are here to listen. It's not time to start bargaining yet. Right now, you are doing your research, gathering information. Ask questions. Ask them why they don't want you to go. Ask them if there's something that happened when they were kids that has them worried. Ask them what kind of bad things could happen. Ask them if there's anything that could be done to make them feel better about your going. Encourage them to talk. Take your time. Listen to their answers. Really think about what they're saying. Try to imagine that you are a parent, and it's your child that's going to this party. The point of this is to understand everything that you can about the people that you are bargaining with, because knowledge is power.

Then, talk to them about how you feel, using the words "I" and "me". Say things like "Not getting to go to my school events make me feel like an outsider". "I need your help so I can fit in at my school". "I feel like this is really, really important to me, and I need your help to make it happen." Use words that encourage them to think of themselves as helping you, instead of fighting you. Acknowledge their feelings. Tell them that you know they are trying to keep you safe, and you want to be safe. Ask them how you can be safe, but also grow and participate in age appropriate activities.

Avoid saying things like "you never", "you won't" or "you always" or "Why won't you?" It's like pushing a button. You'll snap right back into that same old argument that you never finished.

Civil discourse is an art form. It is a way to talk about things that you really disagree about without it escalating to a point where you can't get anything accomplished. The key is to respect the other person. Stay as calm as you can. Keep your volume down. Try to keep the stress out of voice. Stop every now and then, and take a deep breath and hold it, and when you let it out, let all of your stress go with it. Don't interrupt. Don't speak in a rude tone of voice or say rude things. Don't do irritating things like nagging or whining. Make sure that anything you say is true. Remember, you can't win the argument unless you keep them listening to you. You have to be really careful or they will start to tune you out, and you've lost your negotiation.

Good luck. You can do this.

Answer 2

Tell them that this is a once in a lifetime thing, and that you won't get another grade 8 formal! also tell them that this is probably going to be one of the last times that you will get to do something with all your friends together till you go to high school!!

Answer 3

If you feel embarrassed about your parents chaperoning, how about an older sibling, aunt, uncle, someone you think is cool but someone your parents trust to chaperone. Or they could be one of the adults that sponsor the formal, they mingle around with the other adults that are there and you can pretend they aren't there but your parents can feel you are safe because they are there.

Answer 4

tell them it is a really important dance for 8th grade. and that it would mean a lot if they let you go. but sometimes middle school dances suck, so if they say no, dont be bummed.

Answer 5

Cry, it always works for my sister when she wants something. Dont stop till they say yes.

Answer 6

overprotective parents are a pain in the butt. tell them you will call and check in every hour

Answer 7

tell them to come along and chaperon