Say a bride (speaking in general) wants to wear sleeves or a colored dress, most people will say to her "wear something white or ivory with minimal colored accents, otherwise you'll regret your choice". If she wants something other than a sitdown or buffet dinner or maybe she doesn't want to serve dinner at all. Any number of choices that stray from the "comfortable" traditional.
If the choices reflect the tastes and personalities of the couple, why do random strangers (and even some guests) feel it is their right and business to judge what they do? They would take great offense if they were in her shoes and received the same comments but it doesn't occur to them how rude they are being to her.
On the same token, would you refuse to attend the wedding of someone whose tastes were vastly different than yours simply because they were non-traditional (but non-offensive)?
2007-02-14 09:59:39 · 15 answers · asked by Cinnamon 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ppl think that because that is the way that we have been brought up and taught to think. That's the way ppl are. I think that if someone wants to have a different colored dress or a different type of dinner, go for it! Have fun! It's you and your hubby's wedding, no one else's. and no, I would not turn down an invitation to this type of wedding...I would welcome it with open arms and help with absolutely everything I could.
2007-02-14 10:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sally Doll 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People suck. But seriously, I understand. I had this argument over my own wedding!! People like tradition, and expect certain "sacred" rituals to be performed at weddings. I think most people, whether they admit it or not, see weddings as religious and not just a ceremony of commitment or legality. To veer from religious tradition makes people very, very nervous. We all take comfort in those things that never change.
Personally, I agree that each wedding should be tailored to the couple! With some small exceptions - religious ceremonies in the church/sanctuary, etc, need to stay within tradition, but a wedding in a garden or hall of some kind has more room for non-traditional ritual. I also believe that a wedding are not just for the couple - they are for the families too, and the couple needs to be sensitive to that. And who says you need to have a meal at a reception? Have drinks and cake!
I would absolutely attend the wedding of any person I loved, regardless of if it was held at the Ritz Carlton, a backyard bbq, or Joe's Biker Bar. If someone refuses to come, well, that is their problem.
2007-02-14 10:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think a non-traditional wedding would be awesome. Unfortunately most people are so stuck in the cliche wedding ideas that all the weddings I have been to are very similar. I think if you went and did something unique and different, your wedding will be remembered more than anyones. I think random strangers really don't have a right to judge other people and what they want to do with their weddings. Just because maybe the idea may sound stupid to people, they really have no idea because they have never actually experienced something different. I am getting married next year and I feel that a lot of people have judged the different things that my fiance and I have wanted to do. Its really enoying because I like to share my ideas that I am excited about with other people and if they don't give me a good response it tends to bring me down. But regardless, we have decided to stick with our plans no matter how crazy and different they may seem to other people. Thats what makes it "our" wedding which will be a day we can be proud of forever.
2007-02-14 10:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Beffy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahh, sadly, because wedding is too often all about tradition, tradition being substututed for the real meaning of the ritual.
It's not always like that - my friends who are Championship level ballroom dancers did it slightly differently and noone objected: she had a stunning white ballroom dance dress in place of a wedding gown. Needless to say, their first dance was more than just cute - it was a real art performance! Hey, they deserve a little attention on that day, why not!
No, I would not refuse to attend a wedding that's slightly different. I actually don't check with the bride what kind of dress she is chosing to wear.
2007-02-14 10:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am planning my wedding right now.
it is my 3rd, but my fiance's first
this is what we have so far:
I will be wearing a light blue dress (a formal ballgown)
I am walking down the aisle to him playing "blackbird" by the Beatles on his guitar, because it has special meaning to us
the wedding will be held directly after a church service with the whole church attending (it is a congregation of about 300)
the reception will be held directly after the wedding at the church and it will be almost purely a pot luck ( we are providing the meat & the "cake") everything else will be brought by our guests
I am making cupcakes instead of having a wedding cake, and the bachlor & bachlorette parties are going to be decorating the cup cakes (and drinking champain)
We are doing it this way, not because we cant afford to do what every one else is doing, but because we wanted something that brought everyone together. It is not just our wedding, it is everyone's.
2007-02-14 10:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some (but not all) people can't put themselves in another person's shoes. It is common for someone to feel that just because someone else is doing something that's not "the norm", it necessarily means they will "regret" it later. Much of the time, people who give you this kind of advice are actually well-meaning, and are concerned with your welfare. You really don't have to follow their advice; some people *might* take offense, but most people seem to be ok with it. But if you are unorthodox in your thinking, be prepared to defend your views and to ignore what "people think" when appropriate and necessary. I've always been thought of as an "eclectic" person, so people who know me well actually expect me to be "untraditional". I think, if I got married in a big pompus traditional ceremony with all the bells and whistles, people simply would not believe their eyes! I don't feel it's a bad thing to be "different" - but I do realize that people who are "different" do clash with the "majority" sometimes, and one just has to be prepared for it.
2007-02-14 10:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
20 years ago we did some things at our wedding that were mildly offbeat, we were married at 10 am not 5pm and we made a point of inviting whole families including children (bridzillas don't want children except for a perfectly behaved ring bearer or flower girl) we had a tiered cheese cake and I had pink on my dress and the men wore pink Miami Vice style jackets and yes some bone heads said some things but it doesn't matter now. Just understand that some things gross people out especially in the context of a wedding, I'm thinking Marilyn Manson here (they are getting a divorce, btw) and it's not nice to gross out your guests.
2007-02-14 10:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by Brenda P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, i've actually gotten answers like that because i want to wear blue. i guess it's because some people don't know much about historical tradtions, so they think things should be done the way the have been for a reall long time. and i would gladly attend a wedding that didn't follow "tradition" because it'd be way more interesting than the traditional ones, that are all the same!! i can't imagine peoplpe refusing because it's different....
2007-02-14 13:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by Duelen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe if you dont want to go to an event, then don't go. i would never ever speak out against someone who is doing something non traditional. i'm not even dating anyone right now but when i do remarry i know i wont go the traditional route. i want roller skating, fish sticks, hot dogs and tator tots, i want to walk down the aisle to Stevie Wonder's Isn't she Lovely. i know i want to wear black because i look damn good in black! and i know my cake will be Carrot Cake! so do what you want. i know i can plan this type of wedding because it's what i want, and the man who i end up with will not see anything weird about this. then i know i've got the right man!
p.s. my sis is a traditionalist and even she went off the beaten path when instead of a groom's cake she had a three tier chocolate fountain with fruits and marshmallows
2007-02-14 10:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are currently planning or wedding and it is no where near traditional. I think people should respect other's peoples choices,especially in something like a wedding. I mean they are not paying for it,what does it matter if you want to wear a red dress or have a barbecue instead of a buffet? People need to keep it to themselves sometimes. I love weddings,I'd go to whatever wedding my friend invited me to,to support my friend and see them off to their new adventure.
2007-02-14 10:09:01 · answer #10 · answered by lily_shaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋