I've been dating this guy for about 8 months now. After the first couple of months he was asking questions (looking to the future) about when we could be together (he lives in another state and I have teenage children). I was hesitant at first and said that it would be at least a couple of years when my kids are out of school.
I thought everything was going well with us (we were seeing each other every other weekend). Until a few weeks ago he said he was coming to see me and didn't. I got upset and then last weekend he seems different and says his job is uncertain and he can't make me any promises about the future.
Sounds like a brush off to me...am I reading too much into this or what?
2007-02-14 09:59:23 · 16 answers · asked by ms_butrfly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that there is a reason why God have given us intution and you must follow it. My own personal feelings about this situation is that he is an individual that is giving you clear signals that he is unsure of whether he wants to put any effort into this relationship given the circumstances on both sides. I am hoping that you will be able to confront him on his behaviour of not showing up when he said he would because he should give you answer for his lack of communication considering you are both in a committed realationship. I hope this helps.
2007-02-14 10:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by Almarie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you wouldn't even consider a future with him for at least a couple of years when your children are out of high school right? No need to be upset about anything he does. Focus on your children. Now he such not have lied to you, but he did and that lets you see something about his character before you waste your time or life with him. So have fun, but don't try to get serious with him or anyone else because you're not ready. Just enjoy yourself and get to know a lot of people (not sexually). So when you are ready to settle down you will know exactly what you are looking for. And just for the heck of freindship ask him what is going on and if you can be there for him. if he continues to act distance leave him alone and find someone who is worthy of your time. But do not speed up the relationship stick to your goals. Good Luck!
2007-02-14 10:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by my_first_love_85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though he's not so interested any more to me. Probably found another for romance. No, you are not reading too much into this. It's not a good sign that he's leaving you in the dark. It would be much better if he were honest. His job being uncertain is not really a reason to not come see you.
2007-02-14 10:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I'm only 19, but my mom had this exact same thing happen to her. Unfortunately it was a brush off. Long distance relationships are the hardest things to keep intact and strong. (so I've seen in my Mom's) I wish you the best because it's heatbreaking, but be strong and look for someone closer and who will offer you a stable future. Not a guy who's "job looks uncertain". good luck.
2007-02-14 10:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Freddie xoxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is long distance, and he probably has met someone else. With LDR, it's easy to blow everything out of proportion, and he probably took what you said rather literally, or it threw whatever rhythm the relationship had off, and he never recovered. He was the one looking for more, and you hadn't cared about that but now you do now that it's gone. You could step it up a bit, if it is indeed serious, if not I wouldn't worry about it and keep my options open ...
2007-02-14 10:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you put him off too long and now he's having second thoughts. Be honest with him. Long distance relationships are the hardest to keep going. I've tried them before and found myself too impatient to wait for him. Men usually are the more impatient ones, so maybe thats whats wrong.
2007-02-14 10:06:33 · answer #6 · answered by ivy_trick_mess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he is not giving you a "Full" reason, then yes it could be a brushoff. I believe that your true feelings have all ready told you how you "realy" feel. I think by what you said that at first it was really great, but now it has worn off. I think you should search your heart, and perhaps move on. Remember, always take care of yourself,
2007-02-14 10:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by Randall L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that is a brush off... chicken way of doing it but he is looking for a door. It is best that you find someone closer to where you are living and emotionally.
2007-02-14 10:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by Woody 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should give it some time, but watch out. maybe hes confused and needs to see if u guys really have a future together. if u really care about him, show him that u can. if you dont, then just give him space. he'll come around.
2007-02-14 10:04:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give it more time. people go through phases . its a way of life. just think positive and see if you can wait it out, if you really like him . if he stays this way for a while then start worrying. but for now I think you're fine. just hang in there
2007-02-14 10:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by slave 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋