When it comes to men who deserve a girlfriend, my name is number one on a VERY short list ! I'm being wasted on the single life . Why should I be THE PERSON who has to be unattached ?
2007-02-14 09:51:19 · 5 answers · asked by I_hate_being_single 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ooooo burn.
2007-02-14 09:54:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lawrence M. Enopee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what it is. (sorry, it's a long one)
Women do not like desperate men. The more desperate you are, the more likely you will latch on to the first thing that comes your way. Women don't want to feel as though your with them because they were the first thing that crossed your path. They need to know they are special and you stopped wanting any other woman that you could have had over them.
Andy the Abuser and Jimmy the Jerk don't care about women. They are not desperate. If Janie is not interested, Jenny will do. Women confuse this indeference as confidence.
So, here's my advice.
1) Stop worrying about being single. That is killing your confidence.
2) Ask women to go on dates but your only goal is to make freinds. If it goes further, that's great. At least you started as freinds.
3) Follow these dating rules.
a. First date is a short one. Lunch. That's it. Movies and a dinner on a first date turn into a never ending hell for someone. If your goal is to make a freind then keep it short. she's going to hate you if you put her through a date from hell. Remember, the more women you have as freinds, the more likely you are going to be confident around woman and who knows, maybe your not right for her but she's got freinds... I've been on blind dates set up by women I went on a date with...
b. Get her to talk about herself. If she wants to hear your life story, she'll ask. Here's some of my favorites. "If you won a 10 million dollar lottery, what would you do?" If she gives you a bunch of self centered materialistic answers, don't ask her on a second date... You can find out a lot about someone by their answer to this. Stay away from intimate questions, past boy freinds... Politics, work, books she's read are ok. The deal is, YOU are trying to find out if you want to ask HER out again. You are not trying to make her your girlfreind.
c. second date. (and don't be hurt if you dont' get a second date. Be sure to leave her a way to so no without hurting your feelings. Don't play hurt puppy if she says no.) Can last a little longer. Dinner. Not romantic. Not expensive. You are not trying to buy her. Still keep it light. You can ask some family questions but don't dig too deep. She'll probably have more questions for you. Answer truthfully. Again, don't make this a big date deal.
d. Third date. I took a lot of women on 1st dates. A handfull made it to second dates. 3 or 4 made it to 3rd dates. Only two did I have committed relationships with. Last one I married. Best third date... The zoo. It is not romantic. That makes it neutral ground. Takes about 2 to 3 hours to walk around and see all the animals. Give you both some time to spend with each other. Depending on how everything is going, you both might discuss intimate details of past relationships and family issues. And might not. Take it easy. You might be very attracted to someone the first time you see them, but it takes time to build a relationship...
If she's goes on a 3rd date, it means that she's interested in seeing where this will lead. Doesn't mean she loves you with all her heart yet...
Remember, a nice guy doesn't force a woman to like him. Doesn't force her to be a ***** to get rid of him.
So, stop being desperate. Start making freinds. Don't feel hurt if you get rejected. You can only get hurt if you set your expectations too high.
I spend years and years waiting for someone to save me. Someone to fix me. I figured out no one wants to work that hard. Had to fix myself. Said screw it, and changed my expectations to making freinds. Took three years of dating to find my wife.
Best of luck to you.
A~
2007-02-14 18:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they exhibit confidence and women are attracted to that quality.
You are sitting on a website whining instead of being out there meeting people.
2007-02-14 17:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should. I think you need to go now and start looking for one. It's not so hard to find a woman.
2007-02-14 17:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go find one instead of crying about not having one.
2007-02-14 17:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋