Are dessert receptions really that bizarre of a concept to most people?

Question

In reading online chat boards such as the Knot and Wedding Channel, most people seem to have no clue of a what a dessert reception consists of and most have never seen one. Where I was raised (but not getting married), people would look at you weird if you did anything but a dessert reception. And even 15-20 yrs ago and prior, that was all that alot of people did. Even turn of the century weddings (in movies and real life) never had a full dinner. Also, those same folks suggest serving full appetizer spreads in addition to dessert, but fail to realize that once you start adding anything beyond cheese and crackers, it is no longer just desserts so you can't call it a dessert reception on the invite.

Are they really that rare or do people just have a certain mindset that a reception must be done one way and anything that strays from that one way is bizarre and wrong? Even though those same people would have no difficulty planning a dessert party for any other type of event?

Alcohol is not included when serving just desserts because your guests will get drunk very quickly due to tons of sugar and nothing substantial (appetizers or dinner) to soak it up. Also, most alcohol makes the sweets taste really off from what they normally do.

Answer 1

I have been to a dessert reception, It wasn't wierd or anything, it was obviously a money-saving tactic, it was an afternoon wedding and they just had cake and punch and lots of other sweet goodies and fruits...it worked, most people where we live just do a buffet of finger foods instead of the full on meal, we are being really different and doing bbq buffet style b/c here in the south, everyone will eat it and its yummy adn totally different!

Answer 2

I am not having a dessert reception, but I have been to one. Honestly, it was nice, but a bit of a let down. The timing was a little off (6PM) the time when most dinners/cocktail hours start. We were all left a little....well...hungry. I think if it had been at a more appropriate time (after 8) it would have been a little better. Why not have a cocktail style reception? It's not going to cost you much more than a dessert style reception, guests will get a little more food (which it sounds like your Dad would appreciate!) and it's actually quite stylish. If the cost of an open bar is a factor, serve champagne and soda's/waters or a champagne punch. I think either way you do it, the key is to make it not look like you didn't spend a lot. You can have a budget concious, yet lovely reception without a full 7 course meal. I would make sure to state on your invites exactly what kind of reception your guests should expect though(so they can have a light meal before they come, or plan on having one after). i.e. "Please join us for cocktails/dessert" or at the bottom of the invite, it will usually say "A dinner (or coctail/dessert) reception immediatly following the ceremony." You might have to make your reception a little shorter than a traditional 6 hour one too...you can't expect guests to "hang out" with little food or drink for 5 or 6 hours. I think 3 hours is the most you can expect for a dessert or cocktail reception. Best of luck to you both!

Answer 3

I am an event planner for a catering company. The current wedding trends do not support the idea of a "dessert" reception, as there has more recently been a return to the traditional weekend weddings. However, as part of our mission, your wedding ceremony and reception should be however you and your groom feel comfortable doing it, and if you want to have a dessert reception, that seems like a fantastic idea! (Not to mention a heck of a lot more affordable!) Don't let others dictate your special day or pressure you to go another way! As you mentioned, adding anything else doesn't make it a dessert reception...a nice combo option, also more affordable than a full dinner is a cocktail reception, which would be just appetizers, cocktails and then dessert, or a late night reception, with comfort foods/appetizers with a smaller more intimate group of people from your wedding. Good Luck!

Answer 4

No you don't have to feed your guests a full meal but don't have your reception at a "meal time" like 6 to 7 pm, give them a chance to have lunch or dinner and then come to your dessert reception and if your invite specifies dessert that takes care of it. I think its a great idea, people won't be so stuffed that the cake goes to waste.

Do at least offer coffee with your beverages. Personally, I can't enjoy cake without coffee.

To answer your last question, people do have mindsets and many of them are regional and they don't realize how bizarre they are to the rest of us, like I have heard that some folks expect Brides to dance for money and they even wear an apron with a pocket to put money and cards in. Some people think that a "unity candle" is a required part of the ceremony when others think it is just a frill.

Plan it as your own and invite!

Answer 5

Having been married twice (in California 35 years ago and Colorado 10 years ago) and having cake, coffee, tea, and punch, was perfectly fine, and quite the norm where I'm from; however, also having a dinner and dance was the norm for others. It is just what you prefer.

As we had an evening wedding (7p.m.), having a dessert reception worked well. Feel free to do what you would like, just keep in mind whether when you have the wedding/reception if it is around a mealtime.

If someone is going to think you are 'cheap' ... just remember, people will think what they want, regardless.

Just enjoy yourself and your guests - it's about sharing in the joy!

Answer 6

I don't think it matters where you live, whatever you want to do for your reception will be great. A desert reception would be a really cool idea. You better have a lot of damn good desserts though lol. Is alcohol included in the dessert party?

Answer 7

Never heard of such a thing. Sounds like a cheap way out.
Most couples like to host their guests at a full dinner at the reception, with an open bar and midnight lunch. It is the thing to do because many people travel from far and near to attend weddings, and celebrate with the couple. Often, a lunch is given the next day at the gift opening as well.

Answer 8

I've heard of dessert receptions, but never seen one in California. My family originally comes from Michigan, and for them, wedding receptions were HUGE parties with lots of music and dancing and whatnot. Buffets were more common than sit down dinners. But if you mention that to some people out here, they think you are cheap or tacky. *shrug*

I'd love to know where you were raised...

Answer 9

I actually like the idea, i think peopel get locked in to whats the "norm" and are afraid there family and freidns wont enjoy themselves. As long as it clearly states that dinner will not be served I think alot of peopel enjoy something that is so different.

Not sure where you were raised where it is considered traditional at wedding though...at least it seems in the US its not very traditional and some what of a growing trend.

Answer 10

I must admit I am baffled by your question.I have never even heard of a dessert reception.Is it an American tradition? Personally I would expect a mix of foods but it's your wedding,do it your way! I hope it's fun.