There's a guy who I wouldn't really consider myself friends with who, rather out of the blue (for me), told me he loved me. I've known this kid for a couple of months- we met working as assigned partners on a project at school. I would talk to him during this class, and he walks with me to choir as well. He asked for my number about a month or two ago- I've talked to him all of once over the phone. Today- valentine's day- he gave me a gift (a crystal with a horse in it) and I was really surprised. He texted me later after school in another language, and when I asked what it meant, he wrote back to say he loved me. I mean he's a nice enough guy and everything but frankly I see him as a slightly annoying aquaintance. I really don't want to come off as some sort of heartbreaker to anyone, but I'm stuck on what to do. This has become even more complicated because he gave me the gift infront of my crush... This guy has been nice to me and I feel almost obligated to do something. Thanks!
2007-02-14 09:33:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be honest. You arent obligated to anyone but yourself. If you dont like him, you dont like him. If you let it carry on, you will end up hurting him even more. Good luck with that!
2007-02-14 09:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by Rebekah G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, go ahead and feel flattered; nothing wrong with that. Thank him for the gift of course; you should always do that. If you feel obliged to reciprocate somehow, then give him a gift in return. If you don't feel you have the heart to tell him you don't share his feelings, you could just stand your ground. Don't avoid him, but maintain the relationship at the level you feel comfortable. dodge attempts at hand-holding or kissing. remain friendly, but avoid giving him any signals you think of him as other than a friend. Hopefully he'll see that his advances are purposefully not being returned. however, you may ultimately still have to "screw your courage to the sticking place" and tell him--gently, but directly. Good luck.
2007-02-14 09:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Robin the Brave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, people who ask that particular question have a higher probability of hurting the guy when (trying) to tell him no. The proper question is "What's the best way to tell a guy I don't like him?" The focus on "not hurting him" makes people equivocate when they answer, and the guy doesn't take the hint properly, and things may spin out of control. Politely, but firmly and with no shades of grey and no qualifying language, tell him you are not interested. Remember, guys are notoriously bad at hearing no when they don't want to hear it from a woman. It's better to be firm and clear and be seen as a heartbreaker than saddle yourself with a bad situation for much longer.
2007-02-14 09:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Chris D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to him that while you are flattered, you just don't believe you can feel the same way about him. You have to be honest and nice. I mean, what if you got up the nerve to say something to your own crush, and he just trashed you?
And give the boy his gift back. You shouldn't keep it.
Of course, you could always give the poor guy a break. Maybe you just haven't considered him romantically, and if you went out with him on a date, you might just change your mind and forget about that "crush," who probably doesn't even know your name anyway. This guy might just make one great boyfriend.
2007-02-14 09:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter how you tell him he's going to be hurt so i would be honest with him and tell him that although you think he's a nice guy you don't think the same way as he does. tell him that you liked the gift but you understand if he wanted it back. Give him some time to heal and then ask him if you still could be friends.( thats if you want him as a friend) ps if your crush is a friend of his let some time go by before asking the guy out
2007-02-14 09:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Bruce B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL I'M A PRO WITH THIS THINGS I HAD A BOY WHO WAS MY BEST FRIEND HE WAS CUT AND ALL BUT HE IS ANNOYING ALSO TODAY HE GAVE A VALENTINE CARD THAT SAY'S "WOOF YOU BE MINE '' ISAID THANK U BUT TOMORROW AND TELL HIM THAT I LIKE SOMEHTING ELSE AND SAY I'M SORRY BUT CAN STILL BE FRIENDS
2007-02-14 09:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by vee20082009 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be honest no matter how you say it its going to hurt him cuz he really likes or as he says loves you.
2007-02-14 09:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Christle T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give in.
my girl friend tried to let me down easy when i told her i loved her, but i made her love me. and look how happy i am now!
just tell him you love him. everyone wins?
2007-02-14 09:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lawrence M. Enopee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him staright up, i would feel more bad, if i was chasing a girl i liked for a long time, knowing she doesent like me. just tell him. and he will get over it.
2007-02-14 09:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him
2007-02-14 09:36:35 · answer #10 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋