he told me he was cheating on me with two girls. one for two years and the other one year he was 24 years old at the time and we were not married, but we lived together and have 3 children and now he wants to make it work. it happen 3 years ago but he is just now telling me he said it was gulit and since he loved me he wanted to start over and he doesn't want me to leave. what should i do.
2007-02-14 09:25:14 · 11 answers · asked by Jacqueline J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want it to work there must be therapy. It will just fester!
2007-02-14 09:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by E-Razz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. Good question. I think you should both seek counseling from a qualified marriage counselor such as a pastor. His confession may be a first step towards changing his life or he may be just trying to hurt you further. It is important to figure it all out. You've got to evaluate how you feel about this and make sure you two are on solid ground. It could be ideal if he is truly making a new start in life, is actively working to avoid the pitfalls he didn't avoid before, and you are willing to whole heartedly forgive him. It takes a lot of work for a couple to get through something like this. On both people's part. I recommend the book "Marriage on the Rock" by Jimmy Evans. It talks about this sort of thing extensively.
2007-02-14 09:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard question right now you already know you will never trust him again so will be snooping into everything he does, you also know it hurts the only redeeming factor at all is that you two weren't married that is a minor one though as you both were committed to a relationship. my first question you will need to answer is can you live knowing you will be almost following him as a stalker? checking his e-mail, his wallet and mail. my second would be can you truly forgive him for what he did I mean really forgive him and never bring it up again he already knows he will have to fight for your trust again don't rub his nose in it no matter what you decide maybe you should really try a fresh start like actually date like it was your first date then go from there in the end we can give you millions of reasons to leave him and millions of reasons to stay with him but you need to decide but I will say staying together for the kids is not the way find another reason or don't stay together that is my opinion on that
2007-02-14 09:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Bear_Polaroid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does feel guilty and may have realized that he loves you and shouldn't cheat. BUT just because he confessed doesn't mean he is trustworthy now. Trust is so important, and you don't have that now. You should both go to counselling to work through it, if you are considering staying with him. Don't stay just for the kids; stay only if it is what you want. You only have one life.
2007-02-14 09:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by wmfann844 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his guilt? hey im a guy. the only reason he told you is to make himself feel better. and by doing that he hurt you. you really think he cares about you? hes cheating on you right now. another confession will come in a couple years. have fun
2007-02-14 09:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by jeffy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this happened before you got married, what can you do?
There is no reason to divorce him because this didn't happen during the marriage.
Accept his apology and move on.
It happened years ago.
Your trust level for him probably went down. I know mine would.
2007-02-14 09:29:49 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think he is not going to do it again? Find out what motives he had before and then see for yourself
2007-02-14 09:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by Diana R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go sleep with every guy in town
2007-02-14 09:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah, aw, iesha! dump that hoe. i got yo back girll
2007-02-14 09:30:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kill him and bury him under the patio the bstrd
2007-02-14 09:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mistress Cara Sutra 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋