I'm 21, handsome, funny and generally a nice guy but i'm single and have never had anything close to a relationship. I'm scared that this may be my lot in life.
2007-02-14 09:21:01 · 13 answers · asked by anthony f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was 27 years old before I entered into a real relationship. Some people are just late bloomers. Some are very late bloomers...
In my case it was due in large part to shyness, social anxiety, and low self-esteem... the usual reasons. And to be honest, most of those things haven't changed at all in me. The one thing that has changed is that I've realized the only way to achieve any goal in life is to put your neck out there. It can be scary for the fear of rejection, but the fear of being alone is a bigger fear, isn't it? Constantly reminding myself of that fact gave me just enough motivation to risk rejection, and it eventually paid off. It might do the same for you.
It also helps if you're patient about your goals. Don't expect to find the love of your life overnight. Instead you should concentrate on improving yourself. Build up some confidence in yourself and everything else will fall into place over time.
As far as actually meeting people... it helps if you put yourself in situations where you're around a lot of other people. You might consider taking a class on art or some other hobby... something with a relaxed atmosphere and where there will be lots of other people around. Any situation where you're around other people is an opportunity where something good could happen. Even just hanging out at the library could give you a chance to meet people. Put yourself in such situations as much as you can, and at the very least you'll start feeling some hope that something could happen.
In my case I used to just stay at home and lament my situation. And of course that just made the situation last longer.
Good luck with everything. :)
2007-02-14 09:58:46 · answer #1 · answered by spiral_movement 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your just the handsome bachelor type... doesn't mean there's a thing wrong. many more people than you know prefer to go it alone...did you say your 21 ...jeesh you still have a long time ahead of you to develop a close relationship... nothing to be scared about enjoy your life and let it happen
2007-02-14 09:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by double_klicks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is God's calling for you to be single, accept your fate with dignity. Some say that you will find it when you aren't looking for it. Be open to whatever. Just live a happy positive life and that will attract all kinds of people to you. Having a network of friends helps immensely because you are constantly meeting new people. Be active, have lots of friends, smile, have something to say, listen well.
2007-02-14 09:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by wassupmang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only 21 geeeeeez, give it time, when you are 30 and single, start to worry, women usually think something is totally wrong with a man who has never been married and is single at age 30. but best of luck, im sure you have some lucky lady in store for you, you are still young.
2007-02-14 09:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no "meant to be" beyond what you make of your life. Some people are alone and don't desire to be, but it has nothing with it being "meant to be" and more to do with them simply not having met someone with whom there is a mutual desire to share a relationship.
Patience...you are young and have MANY years ahead of you. If you're giving up already then the decades ahead are going to be lonely in addition to you being alone.
2007-02-14 09:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I'm 23 and in a similar circumstance.
While I share your worry, I can only hope that once I become more established in my career and have the ability to offer a woman financial stability and have more time to date, my luck will start to improve.
Best of luck this Valentines Day...
2007-02-14 09:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 21 years old give yourself some time and be picky, If you are not picky with what you want in life you will always be searching for what you do want and could possibly hurt others in finding it.
2007-02-14 09:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by sdoolittles2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 is way to young to start worrying about settling down. I'm 46 that's way to young to be settled down too! I am, now I regret it a little. I'd love to be 21 and free again. Then I could date you xxx
2007-02-14 09:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, that's the kind of attitude that will continue to make you lonely. you need to make an effort to talk to women, to be around women to start to be in a relationship. no one is meant to be alone, everyone is entitled to being loved if they can love someone in return.
2007-02-14 09:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by here today, gone to maui ★ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, stop feeling sorry for yourself already. you are only 21!!! when you stop looking for someone and stop expecting to meet that "special someone" thats when they will come into your life.
2007-02-14 09:27:11 · answer #10 · answered by Btieti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋