My mom is starting to see this new guy, and i already dont like him. he lives in a trailer for one thing, meaning he has no money (bad). he has a job but its 3rd shift. hes one of the people who will drink all the time and my mom really needs to get away from that stuff but she wont. she drinks and drives and i cant stand this anymore. today was my birthday. and i turned 16, and i dont have my license or a car, and it snowed a lot so im stuck at home. my mom spent the whole day with him, i havent seen her once today, and she still isnt home and its 5:00 pm. so i've been here all day alone on my birthday. do you think that's very fair? i asked her to come home and spend some time with me but she won't. this birthday was horrible.
2007-02-14 09:05:38 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh and another reason i dont like his is hes already tryin to act like my dad. everytime i talk to my mom on the phone he butts in until i have to tell him off. im not gonna take that crap i have never even seen him before, and he tries telling me what to do.
2007-02-14 09:06:36 · update #1
No this does not sound right to me .Your mother should never put a man ahead of you under any cicumstances.So mant times when women are single they become desparate and they usally end up falling for the worst ones.My step- children sadly went through the same thing and they still are I cannot figure out for the life of me what that crazy woman is doind .I know your pain dear I went through it with them ,the tears and tantrums etc.You may need to learn to become indepentdant at an early age and that's such ashame.But your mom may be tired of struggling with finances and being alone which by the way DOES NOT excuse her actions by any means she's just confused I guess who knows.I live in N.C. and we have no snow I hope you aren't whaere it's butthole deep to your chimney we would like to see some we've only had a dusting.Back to your life now as far as the guy is concerned I can tell you from my own experience as a young girl the more you show a dilike for him the more she will be with him she will call you jealous and immature because you do not like him I did not like either of my parents friends so do you have a best friend who's mom can kinda sub for yours?I know that sounds dumb but you need a woman in your life for alot of reasons you will see one day what I mean but you just do to talk about girl stuff and guys and all the stuff you have a mom for.I hope your mom comes around soon before she loses you as a friend and a daughter.What about your grandmother (her mom) she should be gittin on that momma butt try calling you Grandmother .I don't know about your father he may be helpful if they don't tottally hate each other ya know but I wish I knew you I'd get my husband's Toyota FJ Cruiser and plow through the snow and bring you a cake and a present but I'm stuck in the south but if it's any help it's cold here tonite it's going to be 16 and for us that's cold.We have hardly had a winter here in 3 or 4 years.If you need an old frind who won't judge you e-mail me mitzic63!yahoo and by the way HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TO YOU wish you could at least get out but maybe you can later this week and you and your friends can makeup a party or whatever you would like to do even if it's letting your mom and her new boyfriend have a piece of your mind.Don't be down things will get better for you hopefully they will split and you will get your mom back I sure hope so.
2007-02-14 09:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by connor'snana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, happy birthday. I think people still forget how hard it is to be sixteen.
The older you are when your parents start dating, the harder it is for you to accept it. Your mother is a lot older than you and will most likely do as she pleases. You can't tell an adult woman how to live her life. It will just offend her. That doesn't mean what she is doing isn't wrong though. She should remember that she does have a kid and that comes first. That guy does sound like a loser but I am sure that he may have some good points that you just aren't seeing. I would say give it time, but I would be pissed if someone told me that at your age. The next time you see your mother, I would sit down and talk to her. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she drinks and drives and forgets your birthday. She may not like hearing it, but at least you can say you tried. Some people aren't good parents. Some aren't meant to be parents. Try to hold yourself together. Things will work out eventually with or without your mom. Just try to breathe and live through this until you are old enough to get out on your own.
2007-02-14 09:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I sympathize with you and know a lot of people that have been in your shoes. Your mom is feeling insecure and unwanted. How long has she been single? This guy may suck, but she can't see it yet, no matter what you say right now. It wasn't cool not to spend time with you on you B-Day, but don't have the whole relationship info. You were stuck at home, and thats why you wanted her there? Hope she likes movies. Sometimes the only way to get a message across is to see it happen to someone else. Find the right movie. Happy B-Day and good luck.
2007-02-14 09:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by sambgood05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I want to first tell you Happy Birthday! I am sorry that your mom is acting like this. She should realize that she needs to grow up and be a real mom. I don't know what to say in order to make things better, b/c it won't. THe only thing I can tell you is to throw a party for yourself at your house! Invite every person that you know and tell them to bring their own friends. Make it a bash you'll never forget. And then when your mom comes home you can just tell her to go back to her trailer trash boyfriend. And no, it isn't fair to you at all. If I knew you I would take you out to a nice dinner and take you shopping.
2007-02-14 09:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by Candi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your Mother know why you do not particularly appreciate this Man. If she's willing to listen of course. Tell her the truth, nicely and maturely. All you can hope for is that she will listen to you and respect you. Tell her you know she deserves better. There is obviously a pattern in her life. If that fails, talk to your High School counselor. It should be confidential to a point. Chances are the counselor will notify your Mother you have a concern, and that should bring it out into the open more for true communication. (Get your Mothers real attention). Of course Mom should know not to bring men around her children for at least 3-6 months after dating. Stay clear, he may have a background.
2007-02-14 09:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tired of Users 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't fair.
Life sometimes is like that.
You have to take the good with the bad and hopefully LEARN from the bad so that you don't find yourself in the same situation.
Turning 16 is a big cultural milestone....but its more important to plan on having a happy 18th, 21st and 30th birthdays.
Right now some things are out of your control & that's Okay.
And when you get to the point where you an have a positive change in your life, do it.
2007-02-14 09:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ronatnyu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not right or fair. Your Mom is being very selfish and you should talk to her about how it makes you feel. Also, tell her that you aren't comfortable with this new guy and the reasons you feel that way. She may not change but at least you've spoken up for yourself. I'm sorry your Birthday was so rotten. I hope it gets better!
Happy Birthday!
2007-02-14 09:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it isn't fair. But not that much is. This guy has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and still does. You mom does as well. All that you can really do is learn from them. Don't make the same mistakes that your mother has.
Someday, you get married and have kids, and never, ever do anything like this to them. Don't make the mistakes that your mother has made.
And happy birthday.
2007-02-14 09:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by Wolf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave a note for your mother where she is guranteed to see it ie the front door and write on it today on my birthday all i wanted was to spend some time with my mom all i wanted was to know that i was loved by my mom the same way that i hope my mom can find someone that loves her and treats her the way she deserves to be treated instead of the way she is getting treated sign it happy birthday to me this will make her feel incredible guilt good luck and by the way happy birthday
2007-02-14 09:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mark R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday and I hope everything will be o.k.Sometimes parents can be really jerks and make our lives awful.For sure it's not fair to be alone at your birthday,but even worst is that your mom doesn't see with whom she is dating!!!It's ******* difficult situation,maybe you should press her to talk about how you feel about all this.Or try to speak with some other family members to help you (grandparents maybe,aunts,uncles).I am afraid I can't help you much,but am sending you nice weather from Greece and best wishes for your 16th birthday:)
2007-02-14 09:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by HPA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋