My son was having a very bad tantrum with his dad who see's him twice weekly, he was acting very spoilt and sreaming for England I got to a point where Iintervened because he never gets away with that sort of behaviour with me. His dad got very annoyed when I did so and didn't let me finish telling my son to stop it. I felt stuck as I know i should not intervene when he's dealing with my son but at the same time I felt that if his dad is letting him get away with that sort of behaviour he will think that it is somehow acceptable. Please give me some advice on this one...
2007-02-14 08:49:21 · 9 answers · asked by Liz S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you both need to get together and come to an overall agreement on how you should both deal with things so that the little chap does not get confused, one minute he has this ruling and when away, he has another, you both need to be unified in this or it will carry on and he will play on this also as kids do, they find cracks in everything, more so when it means he can get away with something.
Good luck in talking with your x
2007-02-14 20:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As your husband only see's his Son twice a week it is natural that he wants and needs to gain his approval during these visits. Unfortunately it can mean that he lets him away with bad behaviour that is unacceptable. There is the chance that your Son will think that this is how he gets his way and bring this behaviour home to you. In his heart your Husband knows that he is wrong to accept this behaviour and when you tried to intervene got annoyed with you. This too is unacceptable, it means that your Son may think he has you both over a barrel. I don't know the situation with your Husband and yourself but you need to have a serious talk with him concerning your fears regarding your Son's behaviour. You also need to have a talk with your Son (I don't know what age he is but if he is old enough to realise his power over you both he is old enough to understand what you are saying). Ask him why he is behaving so badly when he is with his Dad (is his Dad in another relationship? are there step-children or another child?) it could be jealousy of his new partner or any other children. You have every right to intervene if you are seriously worried. If your Husband is unwilling to talk sensibly with you, you may have to tell him that you will need to take serious action. Speak to a councellor, preferably as a family, but alone if necessary and find out your options. I hope, that for the sake of both your Son and yourself that you can come to a compromise.
2007-02-14 09:14:27 · answer #2 · answered by ELIZABETH M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The little child will be confused with this kind of behaviour ,you have to come together on this one .What I notice about your posting is that you refer to 'my son' the whole time ,he is a son to you both .If his dad only see him twice a week it is understandable he is going to have a softer approach to the childs behaviour ,It is up to the adults to have a chat about this and well away from the childs ears.
2007-02-14 09:20:54 · answer #3 · answered by MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think perhaps you should spend time with your husband and son together and thereby allowing your son to have as much of a mutual relationship as possible. Children do behave differently in situations and could actually be piicking up vibes that perhaps his dad has let him down and cannot explain why,,,,,hence the behaviour problems.
2007-02-14 18:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son is whats important,it didnt seem to bother his dad to become annoyed when you were trying to teach him some disipline,personally for your childs benefit yes i would not allow that behaviour,his dad is going to object harshly to your interference but keep in mind that it is your son that is important try not to let him see you both argueing over this in front of him,try to do this out of his sight but sometimes it cant be helped i dont know how old he is but when they are just children we must teach them then as when they get older we cant.........good luck
2007-02-14 09:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk with your ex about this and you need to ha ve a unified front with your son. Your son respects you but not him...and as he gets older he may rebel against you also. Talk with the man and get this straightened out!
2007-02-14 08:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns. Men don't always know how to handle children...Then they will blame you when the child is out of control.
2007-02-14 08:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Afi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child will learn what he can get away with YOU and what he can get away with his DAD.
REMEMBER: there is more than one way to crack an egg.
DON'T assume your way is the right way.
2007-02-14 20:06:56 · answer #8 · answered by Haydn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kid gets grounded,you don't let you're husband with him on the Internet anymore and you sit back and relax!!!!!!
2007-02-14 08:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Razvan S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋