We pay our babysitter 150 a week to care for our little man. She has the tv on all day and he now sits and?

Question

stares at it when it's on. She only takes him out once a day, to the park AFTER his nap and lunch because "Its warmer out." Every morning he runs into my room and wakes me up and she doesn't stop him, just lets him do it. When I get home, his blocks are all over the living room, the dirty dishes aren't in the dishwasher, and if we wash dishes, she doesn't put the clean ones away. They sit.
She promised to have her lisence soon (she is 17) and months later, she is still "working on it" and "learning how to parallel park and all that."
She bought pullups to potty train him (he will be 2 next month) and only worked with him last week. WHen she came back on monday she put him in diapers and used the excuse, "he seemed like sitting on his potty was making him distressed so I'll wait a few weeks, until he stops screaming."
But crying is a part of potty training! And when she was working on it, there would be all of his Curious George books sitting next to his potty when I got home.

I talked to her this morning, and she gave me a look. Like I was saying the wrong thing or being stupid.
The little guy lvoes her, or we would have fired her now. Should we just fire her now or wait to see if she will keep the tv off and our son outside playing and happy.

She isn't a dropout, she graduated a few years early.
Also, she brings a soda every day. I don't want him having any soda, we are raising him on juice and milk and water. I'm sure she has let him sip some and even if not, he is seeing her drink it and will eventually dump the healthy drinks for the sugary drinks

Also, we hired her as a nanny. She was being paid 200 a week, only working from 8-4, but my wife changed jobs and is paid less, so the "nanny" is paid 150, 8-5:30.
She tells people she is a "babysitter" and she is always saying that she babysat other kids over the weekend and she even got a job watching someone elses kids one Saturday a month.
She told people she was a nanny until the pay cut, then suddenly she decided she was only a "babysitter."

And, she brings her laptop. She says she only uses it when she puts him down for his nap, and other then that it stays in its case on the table.
I don't know if I feel comfortable with that, but when I mentioned it she brought over BIG books for herself. Now she is back to the laptop after the paycut.

We didn't ask her to buy the pullups.
We were potty training him and one morning when she came for work she just had a pack of them and told him she bought him a surprise. They are the ones with the cars from Cars, and he loves them.
But- I came home from work for "surprise" lunches and he was walking around the house without pants. Socks, shirt, pullup. That's all.

She claims they have a schedual, Mondays are numbers, Tuesdays are letters, Wed. are colors and shapes, then Thurs. Fri. they are a review of the numbers letters shapes and colors they worked on that week.
They do color or paint every day, and she leaves the stuff on the table or fridge every day, and I end up having to throw it out or put it out of the way.
The only plus from her is that I guess the tv is on so much that he is learning to talk very well, (he often tells me about his day with her), and he almost knows how to count to ten.
Half the time though, like yesterday morning, he was talking to me in gibberish and she was translating what he said for me, as I couldn't understand any of his "words". So I doubt he was saying anything at all.

Answer 1

Well if she is just a babysitter she shouldn't have been given those types of responsibilities such as potty training him, buying him pullups, doing dishes, etc. She is pretty young to have been given those responsibilities, too. I would find someone older, someone who actually has experience with children and housework.. etc. Someone like a nanny.

You can still have her around for the odd times you go out or need someone to watch him for a few hours, if your son really loves her. But I wouldn't go so far to expect a 17 year old babysitter to practically raise you kid and do your housework.

By the way, the curious george books were probably there to let him have soemthing to read while he goes. My daughter likes to read while she goes too.

Answer 2

Lots of red flags here!!! First, if you have doubts, then she is not thie right one for the job. Other reasons to lose her...1, He is way too young to potty train unless he is initiating it. He likely has no control of when he pees or poops, so it is freaking him out that he is not able to do it on command. He likely doesn't even know what is expected. Don't let her mess with him in this area - he will develop a negative self image and also lots of stress related to the potty, which can really cause a lot of future problems. 2. The TV is a useful teaching tool on occasion. Maybe Sesame Street for 1/2 hour a day would be fine. All the time he is in front of the tube he is less active (causes of future obesity, not getting the physical development he needs) and also, if she is watching daytime tv, what do you think he is watching!! You should pay the TV 1/2 her salary, since it is doing at least 1/2 the work. 3. Turning 2 and doing numbers and letters? These are totally abstract symbols - no way he is ready for that before 2. He should be playing, singing alphabet songs, counting out loud, and doing lots of nursery rhymes and stories, building blocks and playing make believe. He should be outside at least 3 times a day unless it is below 30 degrees. If stuck inside he should be doing lots of gross motor, such as dancing and other fun exercises.

It only takes 5 minutes to paint. It sounds like she is #1 Lazy, and #2 doesn't know what is developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old.

I know many people have fears of child care centers, but I would recommend that you start looking for a daycare that is also a preschool. They are regulated and the teachers are trained in child development. They also will provide many experiences that he is not getting, and most importantly, social interactions other than the TV. Go visit lots of them and go with the one that feels right and has a good repuation.

He is at an age where he may very well "love" this person, but he is not old enough to distinguish if she is "good for him". That is your job. Sounds like your gut is telling you something isn't right, so you need to follow it!! Good luck!

Answer 3

This sounds 100% like you are my boss....

Anyways. Are you sure he stares at the tv when she is watching him, without you? The boy I watch doesn't, until his dad walks into the room. Then he just stares at the tv, ignoring the world.
Why does she need the tv on? Is she afraid of silence? When I have the tv off, every sound of the house sounds like someone trying to break in.

A child should not be screaming on the potty. Going from parents on weekends, to babysitter back on Monday, is confusing and stressful. Adding potty training is worse.

Some people don't pick up on driving right away. Maybe she wants to be sure to pass the driving test the first time, and be good enough to drive your child around, before she tries it.

$150 a week is not enough. From what you said, she got a paycut, and works more hours. For that, she should have less work to do.
And how often do you want him taken to the park? Once a day is enough. Especially during the colder times. And so its later in the day, after his nap and lunch so he will be awake and not hungry and not freezing while trying to play.

Being on a laptop or reading while he sleeps won't hurt him. He won't even know. She can still hear him and check on him.

Why is she babysitting when you are home? She goes in at 8, but you are still there. When do you go to work? She shouldn't have to be there that early, when babies daddy is home. Espcially with that kind of pay.

It isn't enough. It isn't even min. wage. She can't live on that so expect her to be quitting when she is 18 anyways.

And so what she got a job watching other kids? You say it like she is cheating on you guys.
Maybe she needs more money because you don't pay her enough. I'm shocked she is still there. She must REALLY love your son, so feel lucky.

Answer 4

I get $6.00 for 2 kids. but both kids are older (5 and almost 10). And another family I get $50.00 a day (for 3 kids aged 5, 7, and 8) in all honesty I find both to be a bit insulting. but at the moment I can't find much better job wise. In your situation. we need mroe information. How old is your sitter? how many kids does she care for. What kind of bills does she have to pay? How many days a week does she have your son? How much you and your husband make has a lot to do with pay as well. I do know that daycares around here charge more for the younger children. Wether they are well behaved or not. they are still a lot of work. I know a local daycare around here charges $235.00 a week for the newborn and toddler rooms. (from 8:30 am till 4:30 pm.). 8 hrs a day. They are still paying $5.75 an hour. The only reason I know this is because a friend has her daughter going there. her daughter is 19 months old. Now if I couls charge more and still keep the kids I have now I would do so. But I know that I would not be able to. I would lose all of the kids I have now. If someone else was to ask me to watch their child/children I would charge around $5.00 an hour if it was 1 child or $2 more an hour per child. up to 3 kids total. any more than that it would depend on their ages as well.

Answer 5

she is looking after your son in her way, but i don't think she's doing anything 'wrong'. if she's only a babysitter then surely she is allowed to have her lap top or whatever she wants to bring along? she takes him out in the afternoon and that's wrong?! if she starts babysitting at 8 why are you still in bed if you work? if you want her to wash dishes you should ask her. maybe driving is harder than she thought. he is too young to start potty training if he gets distressed on the potty, she is doing the right thing by leaving it for a while, at least she has given him something to do while he's on the potty. i think you have a lot of problems here, mostly of your own making, you need to sit down and outline clearly what you expect her to do, and maybe review every week or so to see how things are going. you don't say how many hours a week she babysits for you but I'm guessing that if its 39 its a full time job and a very small wage!

Answer 6

Well, firstly I think you are being really harsh on you so called babysitter. From what you told me sounds like she is doing just fine. My son who is three next month likes to watch the t.v and I dont see anything wrong with that. I dont take him out every day, especially during the winter as there are plenty of thing you can do indoors, painting, icing biscuits etc. Maybe your babysitter thinks you might like to see your son in the mornings when he wakes you? As for the mess well houses with toddlers do tend to get messy. it is just one of those things and the didshes are not her priority, your son is.
The driving, well it is not easy, would you rather she took your son out and crashed the car?
the potty training, am doing my son now and no crying is not part of it, I have tried a few times before but had to put him back in nappies, there is nothing wrong in that. You should let your son take the lead when it comes to potty training. And I found reading to him when he was on the potty a good incentive, so maybe thats what the books are for?

Seems to me you have no idea what looking after a toddler all day is like.

Answer 7

as far as your dishes go if your only paying her 150 a week for a full days she should do her own dishes and your boys for what he used during the day but not any that you have left ,she is not a maid.as for the potty training 2 yrs is a good age ,that's when i did my boy but don't rely on the pull-ups they don't "train"anyone thats more of a marketing scheme and to just help him feel like a big boy.you mentioned crying was part of training,no its not! how can you teach him something if he is not enjoin it and having fun.try rewarding him with something for going( I used stickers in a "special" book that was his and after he got 5 stickers he got a bigger surprise it doesn't have to be much just a couple of smarties or even favourite fruit) You said that he stares at the tv more that's understandable you don't want him watching too much,but he is also at that age where he is understanding more and liking it more that could have some of the reasoning why he wants to watch it more.I don't know where abouts you live but i am in Ontario and there is no way i could get someone to come to my house for a full week and work for 150 dollars before you fire this girl make sure you do some homework and see if you could get someone in your area to work for that price with all the things you expect from them

Answer 8

The most recent that I was a babysitter was for a family friend (just to give me something to do, i didn't want to charge, but they did pay me $100/wk) for 3 days/wk, from 7-3 I was 15, and I was just waiting for the school year to end. (April). They didn't expect me to potty train him, and we do watch TV (just his barney dvd) but after that we play outside, or inside the house and i do try to teach him to read. But dishes, that's not a sitter's job. It's a nanny's job. But at the same time, a sitter should respect the parent's rules with their son. Make sure you are clear with your sitter with what you want or don't want. (Wants = Nap for the least of two hours, be fed, changed before you arrive, NOT Dishes clean, house spotless (if it wasn't anything to do with the baby), Dishes Put away) I feed him breakfast, let him watch one episode of his DVD. Physical activity, He'll be tired and sleep, This is when I wash the dishes that he used (or we used... but that's it). When he wakes up, more physical activity, then we read (or at least teach him how to). After that, we go outside, come back in have lunch finish his DVD (in which he falls asleep) And the parents will come. Any time he's asleep this is when I try put away anything that he hasn't put away himself. To babysit for a whole workday for a week, you're not paying this person enough. If you want a nanny you should look up professional nannies, a babysitter can't handle your demands. Someone with experience, (Basically you're looking for someone with housewife as a profession.) You should dump your sitter! I would never do the stuff she did and I was 15!

Answer 9

It sounds like you are a bit demanding and cheap. I would be thrilled to only pay $150 a week, I pay $216 for a daycare center and I have had my fair share of problems. You are expecting her to watch your child, do your dishes, and potty train plus I'm sure there are more demands you have told us. If your son loves her and hes safe let it be. I would sit down with her and discuss your concerns but I think maybe you should read a parenting book. If your child is crying while you are potty training him you are going to scare him and he'll never do it. My pediatrician actually told me to try sitting him on the potty for 5 min every 2 hrs and try reading to him or giving him a toy so he won't mind sitting there for 5 min. Hey I would love to have her watch my child, put yourself in her shoes, you cut her pay, added hours, cleaning you house, and you expect her to watch him when you are sleeping?!?! It also sounds like she has a great schedule, she works on one thing a day so he's not to overwhelmed and walks him to the park every day. Give her a break on her license, you want her to make sure that she knows what she is doing while shes driving you son around, don't you? I think that you are expecting to much and not willing to pay the extra, I would pay her $150 to watch my son and $50 to clean my house and would still save money!!

Answer 10

For 30 a day you are lucky she takes him to the park! For that little of pay you can expect that your child be safe and for her to follow house rules. Like no tv on in front of child except preapproved shows. She doesn't need to be doing any housework other than basic helping to put child's toys away at the end of the day! Also when potty training it is quite appropriate for the child to walk around half dressed as you have to be able to get him to the potty quickly! You expect way too much for the amount of pay she gets. If I got 30 a day I would watch tv all day and that is it!