Opinions of my poem-good as is or does it require more?--Well it was early in the morning when I decided 2?

Question

have a little ol' rap with God
When I suddenly heard a noise outside that sounded like a supped up hot rod
So I went 2 the window and looked around both 2 the west and the east
When 2 my surprise up pulled a old Ford and in it was the Beast
Well,he waved at me and said,"Come on boy and jump into my 32 Ford
And I said,"I can't and I won't cause I was about 2 talk 2 my Lord"
But the devil's persistent and won't give up,he can't afford the loss
So I reached in my pocket and pulled out a replica of the cross
Well the devil laughed and it came from what is supposed 2 B his heart
And asked me straight 2 my face,"What,U think that will rip me apart?
Don't U know I'm the master of all evil,Satan,the dark 1
Don't U know that with me U can do whatever and have some fun?"
I stood in disbelief at what I was hearing and seeing with my own very eye's
All the unrightousness,all the unpurity and most of all the lies
He was trying 2 deceive and corrupt me and lead me down his dark path

He wasn't about 2 give up on me,he was about 2 unleash his wrath
He jumped out of his car and waited while he held open the door
He said,"Jump on in and we'll go 4 a spin and maybe even take U down 1 floor
He tipped his hat and motioned me in and from behind I felt a gentle shove
But I stood my ground with God's,The Holy Ghost's and The Son's love

Answer 1

Good imaginative story. But, you need to clean it up and don't call it a poem. Just tell the story in your natural tone of voice or speech. - Shakespeare's plays were simply poems that he didn't call poems. (poems need not rhyme, so don't restrict yourself to that. Poems that do not necessarily rhyme are called "free verse")

good luck

PS: of course you could select certain parts of it and make it a song.

Answer 2

Lose the Arabic numerals at the same time as alphabetical words serve maximum ideal. You lack credible punctuation, company, and your communicate must be formatted wisely. in short, discover the e book, "the elements of style" through Strunk and White, get a dictionary, and retype the poem. After six or seven edits it is going to be in a position to exhibit--perhaps. Your manuscript is immediately copyrighted once you've printed a replica having your call on it.

Answer 3

Not bad,bet you could rap to it.