Please help with sincere answers! A close friend of mine who I used to date is having problems with his gf of?

Question

4yrs. We dated when they had broke up and even were a couple for 2 weeks. but he broke up becuz he wasnt ready for another relationship. So we ended up being frineds even tho we still acted like a couple. He ended up back with her tryna work things out. But he still messed wit me. I told him that it has to stop becuz its unfair to me, becus I want to be with him. I asked it was possible that we would be 2gether.he said yes. He just says hes unhappy with her but wants to try to work it out since theyve been together so long. He likes me to and said he had feelings for me, and his actions shows it. . And he says i make him feel better and Im the only one who doesnt stress him out. Ive even been pregnant by him, even tho Im not anymore (miscarry). I know he's with her, but I cant help but feel hes supposed to be with me. Ive never met someone who made me feel so special and comfortable. And we never have arguements we talk everything out. and really understand each other. what should i do

I just wonder. becus he calls me alot and he always wants to do for me. I just feel like why should i make him feel better when hes stressing over her. It's like im helping him date her, but what would ya'll do?

Me and my bf arent serious, and I barely see him. And I really dont care iff he reads this becus I know he really isnt for me. just with him.

Answer 1

ShayShay, from what I have read and our chats I think this guy is playing you sweetheart, he has the best of both worlds, he has his gf that he is supposedly trying to work things out with but he's still not happy with her adn then there's you... You talk things through together and you are a very good friend to him and obviously spend a lot of time together. This guy is still having sex with you too isn't he?? I know you are seeing someone and I think you shuold stop this relationship, you're "just with him" and he's going to get hurt sweetheart, you know how this feels dont you so you must do the right thing. As for your friend/ex bf, do you really want to be with someone that is treating you like this, he's only there when suits him, you're a friend that he sleeps with and he has a girlfriend too. If he decided to leave his current gf to be with you I dont think it would be long before he found someone else to pander to his ego. I think he's bad news and I would have to walk away, even though I would feel hurt and confused.

I think you need to say goodbye to the 2 guys in your life and start a fresh, meet someone that you want to be with, someone you can be open with and meet someone that will accept you for exactly who you are and not minipulate you!!!

I think you are very confused with your life right now and I understand why darling OK

Love and hug to you xxx

Answer 2

First off, he is not your "friend". He is taking advantage of you, clear and simple. You are ok to hang out with and to complain to about his g/f - but you're not good enough to be in a relationship with. End of story. He likes you as a side dish - but you will NEVER be the main course. Whether he works things out with his g/f in the long run, or ends up single - he will not be with you full-time; it's not in his plans (if he was determined to be with you - he would have been already). Please be realistic, and understand this. He treats you as a plaything, and will discard you in a flash if he finds someone more interesting, or if you start demanding more. The ball is in your court. You can hang in there and cater to his desires, wasting your time and passing up other opportunities; or you can tell him to get lost, then move on and never see him again. It might be hard to do initially, but I think later you will see him for what it is - a pathetic and indecisive loser - and will be happy to have a shot at finding a real relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

1st tell ur bf that u dnt kno where yalls relationship is goin n u got feelings for sumone else n u i think if this guy really likes he would have already broke it off with the other girl no matter how long they have been 2gether n of course u will alwayz have strong feelings for him since u almost had his child but at the same time if he isnt ready to give up on the other girl then mayb u should let him go

Answer 4

That's a very complicated story. I think I would tell him if he wants to be with you, then he needs to break up with her and be with you. It's not fair to any of you for him to be like this. If he still chooses her, but says you two have a chance it's going to be hard, but you need to move on. You will find someone who makes you feel comfortable and special without all the "other woman" drama. And I wouldn't mess around with a guy you know has a girlfriend. That's just asking for trouble. Honey, I know what you're going through, and I'm sorry to have to say this, but it sounds like he's playing you.

Answer 5

Back off and just be his friend for now..he will come to you when he's ready.Don't let him play ya though or use you for anythin and dont settle for second.I f he's a good guy he will come to you and only you,after he can get rid of some of the baggage he is carrying..cause you don't want him now anyway,let him get over this other girl and straighten some of his issues out and after that let him be free a min.and be his friend,but you don't wanna be the rebound,like you was before cause that never works.If its meant to be than you will be together one day.But do know in most cases,bestfriends don't make good couples,because when you throw sex and feelings in there,things start to change.And you won't only lose a boyfriend,but you will lose what was once your bestfriend.

Answer 6

The best thing for you is to get away from this guy and never look back. He's obviously put you in second place by staying with girl #1. He's keeping you waiting in the wings for him just in case as his backup plan and you are letting him.

Your heart will not be truly open to anything new until you close the door on this relationship. Its not healthy or functional and it gives you nothing substantial for the long term. It is only faint hope that keeps you stringing along.

If you love him, none of what I have said will matter. You will keep hanging around hoping for something to work out and allowing him to mistreat you and keep you in 2nd place until you are finally strong enough to leave it aside. Even if he temporarily goes to you, remember you are 2nd place (or worse) to him.

You can't be friends, you can't "hang out", you can't wait around. Leave this behind and start working on getting your heart and head in the right place for when a meaningful relationship presents itself to you. You want to be ready when it does.

Answer 7

This guy is just taking advantage and you are letting yourself be a sucker.

If you do get with him, chances are he will do to you what he is doing to his GF.

This guy likes having two women he can fool around with and disrespect.

Wake up and stop letting yourself be a doormat. You should warn his GF too, so both of you can find a better man.

He will keep stringing you along as long as you let him....

Answer 8

You should force him to choose. He's keeping one of you as a backup plan in case things don't work out with the other. However, this type of tomfoolery leads inevitably to future infidelity in long term relationships. Commit whole-heartedly or not at all.

As for the fooling around, shame on you. Your physical relationship is hurting this other woman, however innocent you may intend it to be. Just so you know, I shame this friend of yours with whom you sleep as well.

Answer 9

If you and this guy are meant to be together, at least have the fairness to break it off with the other people in your lives. If you can't do that, then it doesn't seem like you want to be together all that badly.

Answer 10

tell your "significant other" exactly what you just wrote...