okay so i have a real commitment issue i am a female and currently getting involved with a guy, but whenever i start to feel something for a guy or he starts to get serious with me i freak out and get all scared and we break up. i think i have a real problem. i have trouble with commitment. have any of you had this problem, and how can i get out of this commitment fear? help please!
2007-02-14 07:31:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No you don't have a problem. Maybe your not ready for a serious relationship yet. Sure, all of us want someone and when we get them we usually act different, very different. When my friend went out with this guy she was sooo sure she liked him, but when they actually started going out, she freaked out! She didn't like the fact of "being" a girlfriend, I figured she wasn't ready to have a serious relationship. In order to get out of your fear of commitment is too slow down and relax. You get all tensed up or stressed out because you label your relationship "serious" or "intense". You need to think of it as just having fun and you need to act confident and you need to be totally in control of your actions. Maybe you should talk to the guy, tell him how you feel, why you have these feelings, and just try to work things out between you two. Maybe go out and do something fun so you can relax. If you don't want him moving so fast, tell him. You need to talk with him. Have a one on one talk, don't get upset, just tell him what you have in mind and maybe you'll get out of your fear!
Hope this helps!
2007-02-14 07:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to do the same thing and didn't have a long term relationship til my late 20's . what are you scared of once the guy gets serious? That's what you need to find out. Is it that he will leave you, or that you'll be stuck with someone you don't want to be or are not in love with. You may need a therapist to figure out why you do this. But I have a hunch it has to do with your parents relationship. Or it may be that you know deep down the guys you are seeing just arent for you. Get to the bottom of it and you will start to change your patterns. And , NO there is nothing wrong with you.
2007-02-14 07:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by gerber baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used 2 have this problem. I would push guys away so quick heads would spin, but this was because they were nothing like my dad, honest, trustworhty, and kind. It takes time 2 go away because true enough it was all me, I just wanted 2 be me and do me and was scared cause I thought guys wanted 2 change me. Letting people in isn't so bad and neither is committment. Take it one day at a time.
2007-02-14 07:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-03 11:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there's nothing wrong with you, everyone reacts differently to feelings of love...being in love they say is the best feeling in the world....commitment is a lifetime bond...maybe we just look at reality, the big picture to much...trust your feelings..if he loves you..he will break down your fears/walls...such is love
2007-02-14 07:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just don't want a committed relationship right now. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
2007-02-14 07:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by OR1234 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem you have is trust. You have to realize that everyone is not out to hurt you and you will learn how to trust one day because you never know that person that you are kicking out of your life could be the one you are supposed to fall in love with.
2007-02-14 07:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you thinking too far ahead? Maybe just feel the present and not the future, it could help. Be in the moment with your guy.
2007-02-14 07:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Janine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
face your fears, get in a serious relationship and see how things go,then u will no what it is like. who knows u might like having a serious relationship better than what u think.
2007-02-14 07:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by greengrass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just are not ready for commitment, You can't change that.
2007-02-14 07:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋