My girlfriend was "one of the guys" for 18 years of her 25 year old life. I'm used to her having guys friends, and occassionally talking her exs or guy's she's dated in the past. She says things like "hey baby, I miss you!" and other similiar "pet names" and phrases. I don't care, I trust her and I'm not jealous, but it bothers me that if I was talk to my female friends or an ex and said the same thing, she would flip out and get totally annoyed.
So why is it totally acceptable for her? And how do I approach it? I know if I just come out and say it, she'll get extremely defensive and accuse me of being jealous or insecure. I'm not asking her to stop, I'm asking, why is it wrong if I do it?
2007-02-14 07:21:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well coming from a girl, she probably doesn't even realize what she is saying when she says that stuff. To her its being friendly and not flirting. So when you say that kind of stuff you are flirting and would hurt someones feelings.
2007-02-14 07:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy Lou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should express a concern, however, I know plenty of females who just hang out with the guys without their being anything untoward about their activities. You need to trust her. If she betrays you, then you did everything you could as a loving man to let her prove herself to you. However, you're not bound by any kind of matrimonial contract of fidelity, so..., but you don't sound like you trust her.
One particularly good alternative: go WITH her when she goes out to hang with old friends. I have a close female friend who, should I remarry, would still be welcome at any time, and my wife would have to live with that. Friendship is not easily gained, and I don't want to have to trade a friend. Giving up things is a two way street, and if you're the only one sacrificing, perhaps it's time you continued on your way.
2007-02-14 07:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by Fergi the Great 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just natural flirts. These people are usually the ones who flirt with EVERYONE; male, female, old, young, pets, etc. Nothing particularly wrong with it. HOWEVER, flirtatious people shouldn't get jealous if their significant others are friendly with others of the opposite sex, because that's just wrong and not fair. On the other hand, obviously flirting with people of the opposite sex in front of one's boyfriend/girlfriend is also a bit disrespectful, jealousy aside. If your girlfriend doesn't want you do flirt, then she needs to stop flirting.
2007-02-14 07:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is an expression of insecurity. You're not insecure, so it doesn't bother you. She is, so it does. You need to study up on it and start to educate her on the issue. Most jealous people assume the problem is with the 'other' person. Education helps.
Polyamorous people have to deal with this issue much more than monogamous people. Going to some of their websites should link you to articles about dealing with jealousy.
2007-02-14 07:27:55 · answer #4 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think of so, in trouble-free terms 18 and over in the adventure that your an grownup or maybe then you quite must be careful some are more beneficial harmless that others. i understand my older 2 children are fairly harmless compared to three 17 and 18 year olds ive met on line.
2016-12-04 04:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by broadway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, man. There's something you need to know. Women are crazy. I know, I know ... to you and me, it makes perfect sense, doens't it. If she does it, then it's okay. Right? No. Because in our brain, logic rules ... in the female brain, Satan rules. She'll try to confuse you and make you go crazy until you kill yourself. Luckily for us, our logical brains will just be like, "Leave the *****" before we kill ourselves. What ya NEED to do ... is tell the woman, be like, "Woman, back off!" Not in a woanizing way ... but in a way that gets your point across. Don't be afraid to raise a hand. No, no, no ... we're not gonna hit her, but she doesn't know that. Maybe she'll get the point, maybe she wont.
Bottom line. You'll never win.
2007-02-14 07:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by bitchlips411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you ever hear the saying,whats good for the goose,is good for the gander?well that goes for you also.if its good for her then its good for you too.heck i flirt with other women and my girlfriend does the same with guys.we been togeather for 7 yrs.,and it doesnt bother us.in any kind of relationship or marriage,you got to have trust.if you dont have trust then you both might as well hang it up.
2007-02-14 07:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about, let her know that you feel comfortable with her saying that and ask if she woudl be okay with you saying it to your exs/past daters, if she is not okay with it then you need to explain that there cant be a double standard, meaning that if she doesn't like it she cant do it...be as honest as you can without being mean
2007-02-14 07:29:36 · answer #8 · answered by forever and a day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her bout it!!! If she doesnt like it leave her sorry @ss. I kno it sounds mean or bad butt why should you have to put up with it???
2007-02-14 07:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as she swallows don't worry about it.
2007-02-14 07:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋