I am 24 yrs old and have been married twice already.My parents could not stand my first hubby who i met while in college at a club where he was an ultimate fighter.I fell head over feel and eloped with him after 3 months.Problems were numerous to say the least he had never graduated from highschool and he was participating in illegal fights to make ends meet.My parent continued to pay for my college tuition but cut off all ties with me and when i graduated college i was 3 months pregnant.After i gave birth to my daughter he became violent and in a fight with me over money broke my jaw.I divorced him but now i have no idea what to tell my daughter who is 3 yrs old and beginning to notice?
2007-02-14 06:33:04 · 13 answers · asked by Mercedes C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I married my divorce lawyer who i thought i was in love with that marriage lasted only a year an half before i found out he was a womanizer and a con-man.So its been a ride for my daughter and i.
2007-02-14 06:35:18 · update #1
tell her the truth.
2007-02-14 06:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 9 year old doesn't know her father either. He and I had been dating for about 7 months when I got pregnant and he wasn't ready to be a dad. I was 28 at the time, so I went ahead with the pregnancy. I have shown her a picture of her dad, and I am very honest about him. He is a nice person, just not ready for that responsibility. I think you should explain to your daughter that her father turned out to be a "not very nice person", and that you left so she would be safe and happy growing up. My daughter rarely asks about her dad. I am married to a terrific guy now and she considers him her father. It will all work out in the end. Good luck.
2007-02-14 14:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Debbi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is only three. I wouldn't say anything unless she asks. When she does ask, you can start with, "Daddy and I didn't get along." As she gets older, you can add more information. About the age of puberty, you could probably be frank about the lousy men that you were with, how it made you feel, and why you left them. You might just prevent her from getting into a bad relationship herself.
2007-02-14 14:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by mamasquirrel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! I'm glad I read some of the answers to ur question because my daughter will be 3 in april and her father tried to kill me with my own police hand gun about a year and a half ago. The judge awarded me sole custody of our daughter and I don't know how to explain my situation to her either---good luck--just pray about it and ask God to give u guidance!
2007-02-14 14:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your daughter that her daddy wasn't able to take care of you and her, but he truly loved her. Give her a pic. book to help explain, and go out for some mother-daughter bonding time. This shuld b enuff to keep her consoled until she's older, and starts to really feel the effects. Good luck!
2007-02-14 14:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont lie, But dont tell her the truth, just keep it short and sweet,
Mommy and daddy werent getting along, you have to talk to her in a way she would understand without thinking it was her fault, I have a little brother and His dad hasnt been in his life at all....but my mom isnt going to tell my brother that daddy was into drugs and beat me because he'll think in his own mind that it as his fault, that his dad left because of him bieng born. over the years you have to feed her a little more information, until shes old enough to hear the WHOLE story.
2007-02-14 15:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki Andrews 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have alot of explaining to do. First of all, I don't think it is important to tell your daughter EVERYTHING you and her dad went through, let her form her own opinion. Just tell her things didn't work out between you to, but daddy and mommy are friends. After being around him, she'll learn for herself, but I don't think you need to turn her against him.
2007-02-14 14:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. Knowitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her that you chose a bad man to be her daddy, and that 's why he can't be with you. You need to explain to her they you're not a very good judge of character and not very bright, and you need to make sure she comes out smarter and better able to read people than you are.
2007-02-16 16:32:17 · answer #8 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she has a daddy but he doesn't live with you and her and that's okay. Tell her that you honestly don't know if or when she will see him. Assure her that she is loved by you (and your family members). Point out other kids that have only one parent, so that she doesn't feel like the odd ball.
2007-02-14 14:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to tell her the truth right now. Dont totally make stuff up, but she wouldnt be able to comprehend everything if you did tell her. If she asks where he is tell her. " He is in ........" Why is he there? " He is doing........ there."Keep it simple. Is he coming home? "No. He does different things than us. He likes different things, whatever comes to mind. Simple and sweet. But dont out and out lie. Hope this helps
2007-02-14 15:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a child with my divorce lawyer.. and I myself am wondering how I am to tell her about her father (she will be three soon)! Wow .. we have a bunch in common.
2007-02-14 14:42:43 · answer #11 · answered by "Choo" Love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋