In a day I almost very minute think negatively. How can I overcome this?

Question

The mind works itself. We cannot control it that easily. How can I think more positively?

Answer 1

It's a pattern that your brain is comfortable with. Just like people who smoke, gamble, etc. In order to change the habit, you will have to conciously be aware of it at first. A smoker that quits smoking will think about a cigarette very frequently. They have to change the pattern. You can't stop the thought from coming, but you can set up a new pattern to follow up the thought with a positive one, even if you don't "feel" it. Just say it. You probably know in other areas of your life how hard it is to break free from a comfort zone, but think of the ways you have done so. Usually, it's by embracing a new pattern. So if you find yourself saying negative things, follow it up with positive ones. Think of yourself as a pathfinder, not an obstacle seeker.

Also, did you ever meet those people who were just bottomless pits of doom? No matter what dilemma they have, it never ends? They only see life as a series of problems and tragedies. They are like black holes that suck the life from everything. Fixing their problems never helps because they always see problems. Don't say, "We'll never get over this mountain!" The new pathfinder you will not see the obstacles and only find the possibilities. "Now how am I going to get up there?" It is the secret of successful people. Just like people who overeat, it's not a matter of quitting food, but embracing a new lifestyle.

You will be much happier. You have nothing to lose by trying. :)

Answer 2

Since she is a rescue dog, she may have had a consistent record of bad experiences with strangers, especially if she was a stray. This is pretty easy to work with, since it doesn't seem like she's aggressive when she's fearful. I'd round up a group of friends or have a small get together of 5-10 people. Have each guest completely ignore her when they come in - you dont' want anyone "pushing" their affection (no matter how genuine) onto a dog that is shy (even if she's trying to get someone to pet her, just a quick pat but no loving affection at this point). After she gets a chance to smell or see the people without them petting her or paying her any attention, you can hand out treats and let each of them and tell them to put the treat in an open palm and let her come to them (it may take a while for the first few people) but once she takes the treat (hot dog slices work GREAT), then with the OPPOSITE hand, they can pet her but tell them to leave their extended hand out the whole time, since more than 1 moving hand may scare her. By the end of the gathering, she'll start to see that going up to strangers doesn't mean bad things, it means she'll get YUMMY treats!! (P.S. While she's visiting all your friends at the party/training session, have any immediate family members watch her from a distance, as you don't want her to develop confidence only when you or your family members are around or that will lead to anxiety when she's left alone.) You may have to do a group thing like this 2-3 times for her to really feel comfy or just have any guests that come over go through the same process (ignore her for about 5 mins then hold a treat out) for about 2 months and that should be enough to help her overcome her fears and give you a confident, healthy dog. I know 2 months sounds like a long time, but if you do those 2 months (shorter or longer, depending on your dog) with dedication and care, this should never be an issue again!! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Look up positive affirmations on line. Repeat those. Anytime you experience negative thoughts. .Push them out by saying NO or Go away. Your in the habit of negative thinking. Try some books by the late Norman Vincent Peale.. Another good book is How to Live 365 Days a year.. Published years ago.. Still around online. if you can find it. Robert Shindler, MD I think.. You can't change habits in two days. It might take a month. If you have a setback. no biggie.. You have the rest of your life. Get back on track and practice the affirmations again.. Good Luck!

Answer 4

This is a great question. Just recently, I have decided to start thinking (and acting) more positively. I am not an extremely negative person but it is common for me to have negative thoughts about myself and events in my life. This started to change when I watched Oprah's show about The Secret. The Secret is both a book, a video and an audio cd created by Rhonda Byrne. It is an in-depth discussion of the Law of Attraction, and how positive thinking will equal positive happenings in your life. In your question you said,"the mind works itself, we cannot control it that easily"-but we actually can. Start off by thinking about everything you have-relationships,good health,material posessions etc., and become truly grateful for what is allready there.Then make it a goal to think positively. For me, it would be like instead of thinking 'wow, I have really huge legs', I now think- 'i have nice legs that work and I am grateful for them'. You can apply this principle to any situation in your life. The type of energy you omit, whether it be positive or negative, directly influences your life. I would suggest maybe picking up the book or dvd and looking it over-I'm still waiting for my audio cd in the mail, but I'm sure I won't be dissappointed. Just by actively trying to change your way of thinking you can change so many things in your life. Hope this helped and good luck.

Answer 5

I know it seems that you cannot control your thinking but you do have more control than you feel you do.

Please read Richard Carlson's book, "You Can Be Happy No Matter What." His basic premise is that what you think affects your feelings in the moment which then affects your mood, i.e., negative thoughts lead to negative feelings in the moment which leads to a negative mood. Then the negative mood affects your feelings in the moment which affects your thinking leading you to think more negative thoughts.

The reverse is also true...thinking positive thoughts leads to positive feelings in the moment which leads to a positive mood.

The trick is not to try to think more positively, the trick is to think positive thoughts. Whenever you find yourself thinking negatively DELIBERATELY stop thinking about whatever you're thinking about and think about something that you LIKE.

For example, I had an argument with my daughter this morning before I left for work and I was all wound up about that. My thoughts just wouldn't leave it alone. So I deliberately made myself start thinking about something else. I like the music of Bette Midler, so I just made myself think, "I like Bette Midler's music. I like Bette Midler's songs, From a Distance, Wind Beneath My Wings, I like the way she sings that song, I like the lyrics, I like that part of the music, etc." After a couple of minutes I felt much better.

When I am ready to handle the issue about my daughter then I will be in a much better frame of mind.

Answer 6

Selena, this is harder to do than it is to make up ur mind to change it. But basically that is what u have to do. Change the old tapes in ur head by stop hating and that is just anger turned inward and for me finding something outside of myself to believe in that was stronger than myself helped. I'm talking about a higher power which can be anything u choose. Just remember u are not alone and the negative things really don't bother anyone but yourself. I've spent entire night feeling negative about someone and ya kn. they were in their bed snoozing up a storm lol Good luck and self displine is a great asset to use even if u change only one bad thought a day or week or month u will be making progress. PS--happy valentines day --a good day to try and change those old tapes in ur head --a day of love lol

Answer 7

You are making the first step by admitting that you are not positive.the mind does not work itself you work your mind so when you wake up in the morning start with smiling and singing to yourself and be strong and determined that you are going to have a great day.if things go wrong for you then don't worry about it as it happens to all people and a lot worse has happened to people.if you are having problems in life talk about it it is the best thing to do.go for walks and look at the good things around you.it is a state of mind and you can control it,i know because i have done it myself.good luck and i hope you can find a way to be happy in life

Answer 8

The public library has shelves full of self-help books. Positive thinking is among the wide variety of topics they have. Check it out.

You should make two lists: One, of everything that is going well, and things you have to be thankful for. The other, of the things that you feel are negative in your life. You might be surprised to find that some of those negative things are not so negative at all.

Answer 9

It is a conscious decision, to see things more optimistically. Heres a trick- every time you have a negative thought sbout something, try and come up with three positive ones. Pretty soon, you will be thinking more positively.

Answer 10

I put on some uplifting, favorite music.
I think more positively by learning that stuff on this planet cannot always be taken so seriously. We're only here for the short term.