Whats the best way to handle it when someone takes credit for an idea that you both came up with together?

Question

So here's the deal. Without going into too much detail (I'll try):

1. She (well, actually someone close to her) came up with the skeleton idea. When it worked on her, she recommended it to me -- in private.
2. It worked on me, and I was so impressed that I wanted to tell everyone else. I knew that if only people knew about it, it would be a success. I said as much TO her, but she said she didn't think they'd believe it, and that was why she'd only mentioned it to me in private.
3. She and I have slightly different "methods," but they work equally well.
4. I decided to figure out a way to let people know about this whole thing, in a subtle way, where they wouldn't feel pushed. (I knew that if they felt actively pushed, they'd never go for it.) So I went out of my way to draw them into being interested on their own. My effort paid off -- People became interested. And when people started trying it, they saw success.

5. I’ve always felt that credit should be mentioned where credit is due, so every time I mentioned it, i also mentioned her name, and credited her with the idea.
6. As of the past few days, not only have a ton of people begun to show interest, but every time it's mentioned, MY methods (which again, work equally well) are either omitted by her, or actually badmouthed!
7. This upsets me a great deal, since even though it was technically her idea (well, someone’s outside our group, who is close to her) to begin with – without me (and my deliberate attempt to do so, despite HER not thinking it would succeed), it never would’ve gone public in the first place!

8. Her behavior at this point really pisses me off. I feel angry. I feel cheated. I feel I went out of my way to do everything by the book (respectfully credit her at every turn, and make sure I didn’t come off as trying to steal anyone’s idea) and got $hit on in return. I didn’t get any recognition for bringing the idea to the group, and she also completely discredited my methods – which means nobody else will even try them.

9. What do you think? What should I do? I also wonder:
a) Am I overreacting?
b) Was I being too “nice” initially by trying to credit her at every turn?
c) Is an idea any good if nobody knows about it, or is the SHARING of that idea just as important (and deserving of credit!!) as the initial conception of it?
d) This ISN’T my way – but is the only way to win to trample other people’s ideas, pretend they’re your own, and push your own at all costs??

I’m feeling jaded. Any of your thoughts/comments/advice would help…. Thanks.

Answer 1

When she's bad mouthing you,
Bring it up IN FRONT of EVERYONE!

Tell her the same way you told us, but do it infront of an audience,
Then she will feel to embarrassed to argue.
And the rest of the people know the truth as well,
Good Luck

Answer 2

I don't think you're wrong for feeling the way that you do, and I don't think you overreacted, BUT! I think the best way to handle it is to keep going with your "patrons" or whatever they maybe as if it didn't happen. Don't badmouth her in return. If SHE continues to do it, she'll just look catty and jealous.

When it comes to her, I wouldn't necessarily confront her or avoid her. If you were to speak to her about it though, I would just flatly tell her how you feel, trying NOT to get too emotional about it -- that just hands her a little power, knowing that she made you angry or hurt.

I really think the best thing to do is ignore her and keep on truckin'!

Answer 3

It's her Idea and whether or not she gives any credit to you, is her choice. If you helped her for free then that was very nice of you. Next time have an agreement or contract of some sort.

Answer 4

You are obsessing. Let it go. It was her idea. She told it to you. Your were the facilitator. Remind people of that. Then shut up.

Answer 5

You are best, in my humble opinion, served by doing the most loving thing possible. That is, just forget it, continue on with your relationship. You you you will always know the truth...and so will she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

We have all just lost brain cells from reading that. Would have been better off scoring some marijuana instead.