My stepdaughter whom I've raised since she was 2 has been very bad for years now. I've done everything counseling doctors dhr. etc. Her daddy was spoilling her and now he's tired of it. I know that she has alot of problems to deal with and the most problem that I think is that she don't understand why her "mother" gave her up to her daddy she's even asked the "mother" and she replied she couldn't handle her. I've always been there for her and I've tried helping her by sitting down and asking her what's wrong so that I can help her. I love her so much. She's always in trouble or she's mean to her brother and sister. She's a liar. Her teacher doesn't even trust her. She's already got suspended from school in the 3rd grade for having a weapon and lying about it. I just don't know what else to do. She don't care about her punishments because when she gets punished she goes and does the same thing again. Her "mother" tell her that all she's doing is wanting attention. Please help me.
2007-02-14 05:53:49 · 10 answers · asked by jessie jane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have her mom get her a complete physical including an EEG.. there is this real problem going around where moms that used certain illegal drugs during pregnancy have children with undeveloped brain lobes. It starts showing around the time of puberty, part of the brain that discerns right an wrong stops functioning.
This is not isolated to CA, I got friends in Nebraska with an adopted daughter like this and its really very scarey. Once diagnosed at least you know the why.. the how to fix it is not easy since the kids do not care what they do or who they hurt. So far none of the adoptive parents have gotten any answers from the medical community.
2007-02-14 06:18:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She cares....I am sure she cares very much. But she doesn't know how to break the cycle she has gotten into and she doesn't know how to tell you what is in her heart. She probably doesn't have the vocabulary/self-knowledge to even begin to explain it to herself much less anyone that is willing or cares enough to listen.
Don't give up on her. Don't stop loving her or letting her know you love her. Dad should also make sure that she knows how much he loves her too. She has been abandoned by her birth mother and there is no greater pain. It makes you feel worthless and unlovable and that there is something "WRONG" with you. And that's just the tip of the ice burg so to speak. She is lashing out at everyone to see if she is accepted or good enough. Someday this will end...get her a good counselor, talk to the school counselor about it too (she/he may have some good suggestions as well). Keep your rules simple & clear with simple & clear consequences and be consistant. It may take a while, but you will win this battle if you truly love this child and want the best for her. Best wishes and good luck.
2007-02-14 06:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, unfortunately her parents really need to step in as well and stop this behavior too. You correcting it isn't going to do anything with other people letting it going on- including her mother. Your going to have to talk to your husband and he is going to have to talk to his ex wife about it- if you really want to do something. My girlfriend went through the same thing- her husband son from a relationship was a terror. She never did or said anything about him though- she felt it wasn't her problem and her saying anything would just start a fight with his mother. Well, now the kids is in high school and is a total out of control brat and he doesn't even visit his father anymore. I think the best thing you can do is sit down with your husband- address the issue and IF he wants to do nothing about it- You tell him that when this child is a young adult and she is completely out of control; he has to realize you might not want her to visit or live with you and your family. Parents think its cute and fine and dandy when she is 10 but how about 17 and then 27... still acting the same way.
2016-03-29 06:25:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is acting out because she wants the attention of her birth mom, she does feel rejected by her natural mother, however the 10 yr. old is still just 10, you are the mom and she loves you , she is angry because she does not understand why me! her natural mom will need to answer the why so she can begin to heal this child can handle the truth on her level if everyone involved will be honest with her.
2007-02-14 06:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tennessee Mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put her in a correctional facility for awhile. That would give her a reality check and make her appreciate the life she has at home. If she is bringing weapons to school in 3rd grade she needs some critical means of being straigtened out. Just think if you dont fix it now how much worse its going to get by the time she is in her teens.
2007-02-14 05:59:22 · answer #5 · answered by ehrlich 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sure she is very deeply hurt that her mother "abandoned" her. She just needs to know that you do love her very much and that love is unconditional however there are consequences to bad decisions that she makes. It's great that you are still trying-you are obviously a true mother. Good luck and I hope you find the peaceful relationship that you are looking for.
2007-02-14 06:13:31 · answer #6 · answered by ideaspclst 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are already call her your "stepdaughter" means you do not accept her as your own daughter and sorry to say that she is clever enough to feel the fact.
You have her mom as your wife,but you are not her dad.I think you are not obliged to talk her in order to convince her to have a good behavior < just try to feel she is your daughter and let her feel it by her own heart.
2007-02-14 06:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by <<< sky >>> 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her problem is that her own mother did not want her and she does need desperate attention.You might not want to hear that.Depending on how old she is you should try to get her some help.Put yourself in her place.She is lashing out her own hurt with being mean to others.Good Luck!
2007-02-14 06:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well that sweet that you are trying to find a solution she is probably hurt that her real mom is not there for her and that her dad moved on maybe she felt like her dad and her mom had a chance until you came in just try to talk to her someday shell understand
2007-02-14 06:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Hummm... 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
HEY ITS CALLED A BELT. TAKE BELT & WRAP AROUND HAND & WHIP *** sound to me like if you dont do something now she is headed to prison or a grave.
2007-02-14 06:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by countrybooger 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋