My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. We are both in school, I am about to graduate and he still has a few more years. We have talked about marriage quite a bit and he has told me that he wants to get married but he just can't afford a ring right now. I say that is fine, that until he can save up I will wait. However, he will spend money on himself with no problem. He has expensive hobbies and lately he has been rebuilding his bicycle and it is a little costly. I think it is sending a mixed signal when he tells me he has no money, yet spends hundreds of dollars on his toys. Should I be upset, or am I being too demanding?
2007-02-14 05:50:36 · 22 answers · asked by tricithedici05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're both in school - you didn't specify whether that means high school or college. Either way, you're both very young and have plenty of time before making a permanent commitment to each other. I've been married for 14 years, and I'll tell you a little secret - guys NEED their own hobby - so grin and bear it! You'll get a ring when he's ready to make a solid commitment.
I wish you well!
2007-02-14 05:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't being too demanding. He is being a bit inconsiderate. He's not equating spending money on himself with his current state of "poverty." All couples must have the "money" talk at some time. Better now than when you are married. I also have a little problem with his priorities. Unless his bicycle is his only mode of transportation, that is not a priority. You are.
Who pays for rent, or what percentage, how bills are split, where money goes, how much y'all spend on groceries or eating out... ALL of this must be addressed, and this includes saving for the future. I know a lot of people will say, "Aaaah, you have plenty of time. Don't even think about retirement." That's wrong. You should start from Day 1 to save for things like a house, a ring, a baby, yes retirement too.
You must do this before you marry, and preferably before you move in together.
2007-02-14 05:57:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO you both are to young to get married. He isn't ready for that step. He still has a few years of school left. I think you are being a little demanding and no you should not be upset. You should be experiencing life. Graduate, loosen up and have a little fun in life. Let him tink with toys. Look at him, what does that tell you. Who's to say you won't be ready to get married maybe 8-10 years from now. It might be your boyfriend it might be someone entirely different. If I could bottle a plan for marriage, it would be to wait until you have a career, a job, a home and are stable. Somewhere in the age bracket of 29-35. Your life will be more full filled by then. Life's trials and tribulations can come at any time, learn from them as you go.
2007-02-14 06:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When times are lean (and they are very lean) people want a job and any one who promisses them a job is their new best friend. Obama knows full well that the $50 billion he has propossed will never make it to law. The democrats would never vote for it this close to election time. He only made the 'recommendation' publicly so that they will be able to campaign on the arguement that he had a really good plan that would have created jobs but those mean old republicans who don't hold a majority in either house have prevented it for working. Just a thought about all these great ideas the president would like to propose. A bill may be submitted to congress by any member of congress or by the president. How many of his brilliant ideas has he ever submitted to congress as bills?
2016-05-23 22:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like you can't be upset with him because he had these hobbies before buying a ring became an issue. If marriage is really what he wants he'll find a way to get you a ring, just sit back for a while and let him do his thing. Besides, for all you know he could have already bought the ring, and is just waiting for the right time!!! That could be the real reason why he has no money!!!
2007-02-14 06:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Knowitall 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You definitely have the right to be mad at him. these are the possible senarios:
1.he is selfish & cares about himself more than you
2. he is afraid of serious commitment.
3. he thinks you're super high maintenance and want a giant ring...
4. he thinks that you DESERVE a giant right, which he cant afford right now.
5. He doesn't love you, but he also want to be with you while he is in school.
6. he doesn't realize that he's being childishly selfish, and doesn't think that it bothers you....
having said that, you should make some comments (nothing serious) about his expensive hobby..like: geeee this costs almost as much as a ring... or something like that...
I'm not good at making such comments...
2007-02-14 06:17:15 · answer #6 · answered by kujiiiro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a bicycle is exercise and transportation. A necessary item for maintaining well-being and quality of life. He's definitely revealing that he's not in a huge hurry though. That may or may not be positive. Don't get too demanding about how he spends his money at this point. I would say be excited about him rebuilding the bicycle. Tell him you'd like to ride with him. If you don't already have a bike, get one. Doing things together and enjoying this time now are more important.
2007-02-14 05:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by itry007 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage isn't about a ring!!!!!!!!!!!If he wanted to marry you he'd sacrifice and get you whatever he can afford and of course you should feel the same way. Marriage is about commitment.
As far as him buying himself costly items.........thats just wrong.
Especially since he cant afford to buy you a ring or so he says.
No, you are not being demanding.
2007-02-14 05:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by nhernandez04 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
is that what life is really about? a ring? i say you're trying to move a little fast. take your time, build up a good career, when he's ready for a commitment you'll get your ring.
you guys are still young... live life to the fullest for now, take it all in, support his hobbies. let him spend his earned cash for what he loves to do... marraige will come later don't worry. wait untill you both have good careers and you can financially aford to move away from home and live with eachother, then he can focus on a ring.... dont try to grow up so fast, you will regret it. have fun while your young, try new things, travel places, meet people, do whats fun for you.
good luck!
2007-02-14 05:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should talk calmly about it.... don't get upset.... find out what this guy really is about... if he doesn't care about marriage.... find that out... I really think that if you don't talk out these situations even before getting engaged... then marriage for you 2 will be very rough.... try communicating in some way with him about that.... also... take an interest in this bike he's building.... show him that you are interested, and he'll love you even more....
These are just a couple nuggets for you
Happy Valentines day
2007-02-14 05:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by clint_lewin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋