getting over love?

Question

im in love with the father of my unborn son,even though its apparent that he is not interested in being apart of my life anymore,considering that we got into a very nasty argument last week and since then he has changed his number and hasnt called me.im devestated i mean i know that i been really bitchy during my pregnancy and done some crazy stuff,i mean i guess im just hurt.i want him in my life but i honestly believe he is trying to recincile with his ex wife and i want him to love me but instead of trying to be nice and help him love me i keep pushing him away and insulting him and just basically driving him up the wall with my jealousy,i know you cant make someone love you especially if they love someone else but is there someway that i can get over him since its obvious he doesnt want to be with me anymore?and why if i love him i am trying to hurt him?and will he comeback to me if i let him go?im so confused,but at the same time i want him out of my heart forever

what do suggest i do? do i ignore him as well and just wait until the baby is born to deal with him or do i accept him when he finally comes around?i mean i want him to realize im more than what he deserves,but i am weak when it comes to him, but i feel that we do need the time apart its just its killing me inside.i want him to want me how do i do that?i am a very attractive woman i know once the baby is born i can find someone to value me,but i love him.

Answer 1

What's your confusion?
He got back with ex wife, he changed his number...obviously he does not want you in his life.
You must stop looking for him, respect him if you really love him
It is normal hating/loving him because he is your baby's dad and he left you

You must forget about he wanting you, think of your baby.
Deal with him only as your baby's dad, he is not a man anymore. Just your baby's dad


FINDING SOMEONE?
The problem is you're too needy, learn to think as an independent woman because you don't do so you run into jerks like your baby's dad.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Three words........YOU ARE PREGNANT!!! It is apparent by what you have written that this guy is not interested in being a part of your life because he doesn't want to man up and be a father. I don't know if he has kids from his ex wife, but that is what it sounds like. You know 90% of us run when we here those words, I'M PREGNANT. Unfortunately for you and your baby it sounds like you were a rebound girl gone bad when he found out you were pregnant.

You are under a lot of stress which could lead to you losing the baby if you are not careful, too much stress can cause a lot of problems for you and the baby. I know it is hard to imagine life without him right now because you are scared, alone, and it doesn't seem like you can make it by yourself. let me be the first to tell you that you can do it on your own. Sure it will be tough, but so many women do it and they are just fine. If you continue to rack your mind with thoughts of him you will only drive yourself crazy. As hard as it might seem there are plenty guys that would be willing to give you the attention and support that you need. Start your search now.

I was not trying to give you an asshole answer so hopefully you don't read it that way, but sweetie, you already know the deal so you need to let him go and move on.

Answer 4

You're in a very difficult place right now, considering you and this person share a child or will soon.

Honestly, I don't think this guy is worth your time. If he could just leave you and not be there for you when you're going through a very hormonal and big change with your body and your life, he's not who you should want to spend the rest of your life with. I say, move on (yes it hurts, but it's possible) and find someone that will treat you with respect and love you unconditionally.

Answer 5

You are pregnant. Your body is on an emotional and hormonal roller coaster and you have coupled that with a man who just might get back with his ex.
You feel mean and you may be doing a lot of things to bring this on, but I do not doubt that he has added to this situation as well.
For now you need to just concentrate on keeping yourself healthy. Do not worry about getting him back. Worry about your unborn child for now. That chaos is not good for it.
Do not worry about getting over the father right now. Just keep calm as you can. Read. Plan things for your baby. Stay in close contact with those who love you.

Answer 6

Of course ur confused, it's completely natural. U want to hurt him the same if not worse than u r hurting from this situation. If u let him go & he dosen't come back then it was never ment to b. Ur child will need this man in his/her life. Make sure u treat him the same as u would want to b treated cause on the long run the one who will hurt more than u is ur child.
I'm sorry to hear of ur trouble, & good luck w ur choises.

Answer 7

do us all a favor and get an abortion...what we dont need is another fatherless kid in this world...

maybe next time try not to get pregnant unless the man is free from another relationship and is in love with you...enough so, that he wont act like a child if you argue.

Answer 8

just get over him once your baby is born you dont want it to have that drama in its life

Answer 9

sad start for your unborn son

Answer 10

First, put yourself in the opposite position: If YOU didn’t want to be with someone, and let him or her know it, what would you expect the other person to do? Hopefully let go, and move on with dignity.


The biggest “cure all” every time you miss them, or are thinking about them with sadness, is to VIVIDLY remember the times they treated you like DIRT, and ask yourself: “Is THAT what I REALLY WANT?” When the answer is NO – then keep that in your mind. It will replace the old pattern of putting them on a pedestal when they treated you far less than the way you deserved. It will also help you to replace the pain with the truth of the situation.


Every time thoughts about them suddenly come into your mind, do the above, AND re-direct your focus on to something that is positive and life enhancing for YOU, or others that you love. You have the power to consciously re-direct your thoughts and FOCUS. Do that every time the blues start to creep in to your consciousness.


Really TRUST that everything DOES work out for the best in the long run, and if you can remember a time when you were sad about something, only to be grateful for the growth you’ve made, and how the situation worked out for your highest and best after all, this will help you realize that this situation is no different.


View the other person with compassion, rather than with bitterness. Realize that they did the best they were capable of, and if their best was not in your best interest, then it is a gift that they are out of your life!


Get deeply and passionately absorbed in your life purpose! THIS is the most powerful thing you can do! Why waste your energy, focus, and attention on a PAST situation, when you can really be making significant and positive difference in your life, as well as in the lives of others!


Every time you start to think about them, and begin to play your drama of the past in your mind, consciously CHOOSE to focus on the NOW, and all of the great things you can be doing. Focus on being and expressing your highest and best self. Remember that you don’t NEED them at all. YOU are the gift. They may be a gift as well, however, if they are out of your life, your life MUST carry on in the most vibrant, positive and life-renewing manner possible. This is ALL within your conscious choice and control.


Really thank them (in your mind) for every lesson you have learned, every new discovery you have made, and the difference they DID make in your life. Realize that THAT was their purpose for entering your life. So now you can release them with a lot of gratitude, loving compassion, dignity, and grace.


Someone that I personally know that is going through the throws of emotional agony in trying to let go of a relationship that just ended said: "We need to know WHY We SHOULD Let THEM GO TO BEGIN WITH!”

The Answer is so that YOU can be FREE FROM PAIN, and misery! So that you can attract someone into your life that will treat you incredibly well, and because you DESERVE to be happy in a real relationship!

Why should you hold out for crumbs from someone similar to a dog waiting on the doormat for a couple of crumbs of attention? Don’t you really deserve to have a fantastic relationship? YES! You do! Everyone does. If you are in pain the majority of the time, then you deserve to free yourself, so that you can live with inner peace, and grow with enough self-love to attract your true counterpart.

You can only attract according to what you believe you deserve, and I swear to you that you WILL attract someone that is far healthier for you once you really learn how to love and appreciate yourself.

Don’t you want to be treated in the best manner possible? So if you are in pain most of the time, that pain is saying: “Hey, get me out of this, because IT HURTS!” And the only way to remove yourself from the source of emotional agony in your life is to make a COMPLETE break.

It’s like keeping your hand halfway in boiling water! If you take your hand out completely, and heal it, then you will be free from pain.

If you choose to keep dipping your fingers into boiling water, this is the same as continuing to return to a painful relationship. One is physical pain, and the other is emotional.

There is no judgment at all. So please do NOT judge yourself for allowing yourself to be treated far less than you deserve. The only thing that matters is what you do from THIS moment forward. Love yourself – a LOT!


The only one you will EVER need is YOU. The only one that will NEVER leave you is YOU. So place ALL of your energy on being and expressing all you came into this life for. It is NOT about them – it is all about you and your growth. That is the most important thing. Now you have learned more, and realized more. You have evolved more as a result of all you have been through. As you come to fully awaken to all of your grand possibilities, you really won’t have the time, or the care to focus your attention on a past situation. It is like focusing on anything else that is in the past. NOW is your time to re-claim yourself, and shine as the beacon that you are. You will feel so much better once you take all of the above steps – as long as you really apply them.

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