My question is can you be 100% commited to a person now days? Is monogamy outdated? If so, why don't we value & apriciate who we are with anymore? Or is it that society as a whole has claimed it's independency in every sense, is it that peopel don't need love and commitment anymore to happyly exsist on this planet? Why is it that relationships have lost their value/meaning? I am 25 & I used to have casual encounters while single...since 2003 that has changed, I have turned into a very attractive, young professional, that is 100% commited. I love my Boyfriend with all my heart (1 1/2 years) I have never thought about cheating or tried to talk to anybody else, he on the other hand is very interested in other females & while yes I have thought about females in more then a "friends" type of way I am uncomfortable crossing that line & sharing my Man. He sees nohing wrong with it, claiming taht a3rd party would be there for sex only. I think love should be between 2 only. How do you feel?
2007-02-14 05:35:39 · 9 answers · asked by $D*Da*Spoild*1$ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Interesting question.
I think that a lot has changed since our parents day. For one, people now live longer, so finding a wife by age 23 or so isn't as big a deal. 30 is the new 20 and all that, so the casual dating scene lasts longer now. I think morality has loosened up some as well and people are no longer petrified of others knowing that they have casual sex.
I am not sure that humans were ever really meant to be monogamous. You look at most animals in the world...they mate with whoever they can. Yes, there are some that mate for life, but that is not as common. It is possible that societal norms, religion, and common sense have made us into what we are today. That is, monogamy being the set standard. That being said, most of us are only a few beers away from our most primal instincts and urges. I think if you remove language, culture, and set a bunch of humans in the jungle from birth, you might find that we act as animals and mate with whoever is closest.
As for your 3some concern. This is every man's dream. Unfortunately, allowing this might kill your relationship. There is also no way to repress the human feelings of jealousy, envy, and lust. So once it happens once, he'll want it again. You may want to think about redoubling your efforts in the bedroom to make sure you satisfy all his urges so that he will not require outside stimulation.
2007-02-14 05:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From my experience, bringing a 3rd party into any serious relationship is a set-up for failure. Of course, the intentions are all in fun... but it's almost impossible to do in a one-on-one committed relationship.
To be perfectly honest, I would be concerned about your boyfriend's interest in pursuing a 3rd party. If you are as professional as you say you are, I would expect your expectations to be a little higher, especially if you really love this guy. On the other hand, people will tell you that you're young and should experiment while you can.
I'm not a man-hater, but monogamy seems impossible anymore. There are some guys out there who are committed, but they're few & far between. Whatever decision you make, be sure you weigh the pros & cons and think what the affect of your actions will be in the future & don't put any expectations on anything.
I wish you the best of luck in your decision making!!
2007-02-14 05:46:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a matter of opinion....There will ALWAYS be people who for whatever their reasons are never going to be faithful, and you can trust me on this one I'm a little older than you are.
The key is that you have to find someone that has the same values that you have!
And your not gonna like this one bit but he wants to have sex with other women and he wants you to be okay with it, if you on the other hand started playing that game you would see his opinion change real rapidly....And at 25 years old was the threesome thing your idea or his?
You have a lot to think about!
2007-02-14 05:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 100% committed to my wife.
I don't pursue other women.
What you have is a boy who wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants the lovely, faithful woman at home and his action on the side.
Would it be ok if he wants to trade the "for sex only girl" for another model? Perhaps when he is bored with her? Its only sex, it was ok for the first one so whats different (besides the woman)...why not get a redhead this time? Can he have two or three on the side? Just in case one is unavailable or pregnant or having her period or has a headache?
Is it ok to enjoy them when you're not around? Can he take them out to dinner once and while too?
This is a relationship of one.
2007-02-14 05:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by jw 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you I think that love should be between two people and two people only, monogamy isn't as popular as it once was-true, but there are still plenty of guys willing to commit to one girl.Keep looking your guy is out there! Good Luck :)
2007-02-14 05:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by m cheryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love it, I always get my wife a giant stuffed animal and a big balloon along with the funny valentines card. She doesn't want the candy though. I love her so much.
2016-05-23 22:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree that love should be between only 2 people. I believe that if you are going to be with someone then you should only be with them. It seems stupid to sit and be with someone and then want to be with another. I believe in commitment and monnogamy. Very few people believe in that.
2007-02-14 05:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, monogamy isn't outdated. Your boyfriend is being a jerk.
He's just looking to capitalize on your "curiousity" solely for his own pleasure.
I'd tell him that, and if he doesn't like it, DUMP HIM and find a nicer guy who will treat you right.
2007-02-14 05:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man is not loyal, and you know that, don't be loyal to him in return, and find a man who takes care of you.. and admire you and loyal to you and only you.. coz you deserve the best!! believe in that..
2007-02-14 05:44:49 · answer #9 · answered by steve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋