Who said you had the right to crucify your fellow Mommy Friends?

Question

I have read a lot of questions and answers in regards to disipline and I am apalled at what some mothers are saying! Now don't get me wrong every person has a right to express their own opinions but when it comes to parenting I would like to believe in this day and age us mom's could stick together. In case you don't have a clue as to what I am talking about; I have read answers from mothers stating that "you are not a good parent if you spank your children" or " You should not have children if you don't know how to raise them" for christ sakes people children do not come with instructions! And correct me if I am wrong but isn't our society filled with disrespectful monguls as a result of parents being afraid to displine as we were taught by our own mothers? My mother did not think twice to give me a needed slap and today I would never dream of hurting someone or disrespecting others. Reality Check is Greatly needed!

Some of you make a good point. Although I am not saying "hey mom's go out there and spank your child with pride!" All I am saying is that you have many people out there who think you are the worst person in the world if you do. I don't feel guilty for being a great mom, my kid could count (and can count) on his one hand how many times I have popped his rear. All children are different so the displin will differ as well. I have a strong minded child that needs direct disiplin...where as some mothers may have a mild minded child where a few minutes in time out is sufficent. The reason for this question is because there are so many of us moms telling other moms on this site that they are terrible and "Wrong". As long as your child knows you love them, knows right from wrong and is happy...then you know you are doing a good job raising him. Thanks to those who actually understood the reason for the question.

Answer 1

I hope you don't mind a reply from a dad! Parents need to stick together not just moms!

I believe it is OK to spank your children even through the teen years. But I do not believe a spanking is a cure all or even all that important. It is merely a tool. Far more important are things like: love, guidance, praise, attention, pats on the back, etc.

Don't listen to the so-called parenting experts who base most of their opinions on ill designed studies. Don't worry about the 'anti's' . Some people are just following an agenda.

Answer 2

I agree with the point of your question. The way I discipline my daughter is none of anyone else's business unless I'm truly hurting her. I will spank my daughter if it's necessary and I have smacked her on the hand before. She's 20 months old and has started the willfully disobedient stage. We normally use time outs or taking away her toys but it usually only gets the point across after repeated use...but she needs to understand not to play with the electrical sockets on the first try. It's the same problem with breastfeeding/bottle-feeding, disposable diapers versus cloth, daycare and working moms versus stay at home. You can raise your child wonderfully with love, care, and support no matter what of those options you choose. You don't know my children and I don't know yours therefore neither of us can make definitive statements about the "right" way to take care of them. My daughter is hard headed and too smart for either of our own goods at this stage and, like her daddy, isn't happy unless she's taking something apart to find out how it works. Your child might be quiet, biddable, and like to play in one place with their "age appropriate toys". I don't know, therefore, I can't tell you that my way will work for you. But the other side of the coin is you can't tell me what will work either. Never judge someone unless you've lived their life, and for more than 5 minutes at that.

Answer 3

You have to love parents who try to justify spanking their children by saying "Oh my mother spanked me and I turned out fine."

Sorry, but that is no excuse for resorting to spanking, yourself. Spanking isn't *necessary* to raising a child. If you can raise a child without spanking, then WHY are you doing it? Because you learned it from your mother who spanked you and you haven't taken the time to think it through and realize that hitting a child for *whatever reason* is WRONG.

My parents spanked me and it was wrong. I didn't understand just how wrong until I had my own child and I spanked him. I knew then with every instinct I had that it was wrong and I never did it again. He turned out just fine.

Your post reads as if you are feeling a little guilty for spanking your own child. I agree, children do not come with instructions. That's a big part of the problem. People are having children without the least idea of how to take care of them, because teenagers are not taught childcare and haven't learned much about child-rearing from their own parents-- except, apparently, how to spank.

I am absolutely on the side of all mothers out there. I want every mother to feel confident in the raising of her children and I advocate child care classes for every high school kid, boy or girl.

You are equating no spanking=no discipline. That is ridiculous. You CAN discipline without spanking. I did and plenty of other mothers do, too. There are a lot of other methods besides hitting your child.

Stop the cycle of spanking by choosing not to spank. Then work on alternative methods of discipline and you will raise a more secure, happier child.

Answer 4

I agree that if the child need it and it comes to it I will spank my child I made my child So I have the right to discipline ( spank) and that doesn't mean beating my child. For those of them who don't spank I will not put them down that is their method but like you said people shouldn't put us down just because they don't agree. I was spanked by my parents hell I was beat by a family member sometimes daily and you know what I have never been in jail or a fight or disrespectful to my parents I love them and respect them for laying down the law and giving out consequences when we wouldn't listen I don't have respect for the person who beat me.I am one of the most non violent people that a person can know and am told that daily so no spankers do not produce violent people.

Answer 5

spanking is ok as long as it's not overdone "Beating". But for the most part I agree. Parents nowadays are more interested in trying to be friends with their kids instead of being the one in charge. But there are some questions on here that make you wonder who let these people have kids. I plan on raising my daughter the way I was raised, I am the mom so I am in charge no matter what your friends say or what they are allowed to do....you do what I say or you don't do anything.

Answer 6

My guess is that some of those questions, and many of the answers, are from Trolls looking to get attention. I know that a spanking question earlier today was one of those. Just ignore the nasty comments and the questions that seem a little too off-color. Feeding the trolls only encourages them.

Answer 7

I agree. I have a son who is very strong willed and a spanking really the only thing that gets through to him.

Answer 8

Why is it ok for me to smack my son and not my husband? Or even my dog?

Children and adults deserve EQUAL protection under the law.

Sorry the excuse of "that's the way we always did it" doesn't make a thing right.

We used to send 4 year olds to work in mines, some cultures did/do circumcise girls. We used to allow girls to marry at 9. Are these things considered right today?

What about jailing someone for being poor?

Sterilizing someone for being blind? Or for having a mental illness?

The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of a Virginia Law allowing for the compulsory sterilization of patients of state mental institutions in 1927.[12]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics#Eugenics_and_the_state.2C_1890s.E2.80.931945