my husband had physical custody of him at the time and when we said no, my stepson got mad and ran away from home back to bio mom's house. We didn't say he couldn't smoke, but that he could not smoke in our home...basically because it is our home and NOBODY smokes in our home, not even our guests. We don't smoke.
Bio mom got up in the air because we said he couldn't smoke in our house. We have several e-mails harping on the fact that we wouldn't let him smoke in our house. Anybody have any insight as to why?
2007-02-14 05:22:06 · 18 answers · asked by mark my words 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is 16 and when we went searching for the cigarettes, we found beer also...not our brand of beer BTW, so he had to bring it with him from bio mom's house.
And when you don't smoke or have people smoking your home, you can smell cigarette smoke EASILY!!!! And it wasn't the first time he had been warned about smoking in our home.
2007-02-14 05:34:50 · update #1
There's is no way you should be sorry. You and your husband have rules about smoking in your home in if he or anybody else has a problem with that, that's there problem. You set the rules and a person can't go by that then you really don't need him at your house.Any one should respect any body house rules. Regardless who they are. And this stepson of yours can't respect his own fathers home then he really don't need to be there. If you don't smoke why should someone else come into YOUR home in smell it all up with cig. smoke. You did the right thing. That's like telling someone or allowing someone to do drugs in your home. smoke it and you don't do drugs,it just don't make sense to me why a person would allow someone to do drugs, somke cig. in there home if you don't. If you don't why should someone else. I hope you and your husband don't feel bad.And his Bio mom who cares if she got up in the air over it. That's to bad. Write back to this person in tell her straight out you don't want to hear it know more. I have rules in I expect people to follow them. In if she writes back with no regard to your respect in YOUR home don't write her back leave it alone. But if she does wright and understanding your rules then tell her thank you for understanding. Other then that like I said leave it alone. There self cent-ed people in how dare you .That's how these people think "how dare you tell me something in your home" There's not much you and your husband can do at this point. There just close minded people. In keep Strong in let no one smoke in your home.
2007-02-14 06:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is his bio mom getting on your case about this? He is only 16 years old. What the hell is he doing smoking in the first place, and who is buying him the cigarettes? He can't smoke legally until he is 18. Don't give into him, stand your ground. Tell him that it's not his house and he has no right disrespecting what you and your husband have to say. If he runs to his mom's house, don't chase after him, just let him run there. If he doesn't come home after a day or two then call the police and report him as a runaway since your husband has custody of him. It doesn't matter if you know where he is or not. Good Luck.
2007-02-14 13:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to enforce this rule. It's your house. If he is that desperate for a smoke when he is living with you, he can put on a jacket and step outside.
Calmly tell the bio mom that this is just one of the rules of your home - you don't smoke, no guests are allowed to smoke, and that's that. He ought to respect the reasonable rules while is living under your roof.
2007-02-14 13:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she's anything like my fiance's Ex I have plenty of insight..
BTW, she walked out on her family for a younger married man, never contacted anyone for over a year, when the divorce was served she never bothered to even show up, and 6 years later thinks she has rights HERE!
She tells both boys, which are now 21 & 23, that this is THEIR home and they can do as they please here. She tells them because this is their house they can have company in whenever they want, drink when they like and smoke at will. When my fiance says otherwise, and it sometimes gets ugly around here, they claim this is half their mothers house and she says they can do as they please in her half...for some reason she has not gotten it through her head that when she abandoned them she forfieted her half of anything and the divorce papers are proof of it. He also has stated that when boys become men they generally go out on their own, get jobs and have their own home, they don't live off Daddy. In the 4 years I have been engaged to my fiance we have done some major changes to the house, making it our own, and for every thing we do the boys inform her and she says she could live with that??? We ignore her except for her constant interference with the boys rights around here, but he just tells them they can go live off her if she thinks it's ok to do
2007-02-14 14:21:07 · answer #4 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is this Brat? if he is under 18 it is ILLEGAL for him to even HAVE cigs. his dad needs to beat the crap outta him. i think the fact that his mom encourages his smoking maybe grounds to get her parental rights revoked. either way. if he can't be respectful of your house and the rules you set, his *** can move back with his mom or into a group home. make sure your husband knows that u guys are doing the right thing and that he has your support.
2007-02-14 13:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because she will use anything she can to make you guys feel bad. its just an excuse to yell and scream. Thats so dumb. Stand your ground. dont let him smoke in the house. He has to obey your rules. He lives with you for a reason and not with his bio mom so he will probably be back or you can always go to court to make him stay with you. people do crazy things just to get to people
2007-02-14 13:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by rain9439 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't worry a/b it. let him stay where he is. if bio mom wants to put up w/ that let her. obviously she's not being a good parent if she's letting her child smoke in HER home. you have a right to have a smoke free home and any visitors or boarders need to respect that. he can go outside w/ his disgusting habit. that's his choice and it's YOUR home. YOUR rules. best wishes
2007-02-14 13:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do or say here will be fiction with step kids. I have 3. Stand your ground and don't let your husband give in. If you do, it will be the beginning of the end of your authority in your house.
2007-02-14 13:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by bugs280 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your right to dictate that in your home - when he gets his own place he can spoke anywhere he likes - how old is this kid anyways - doesn't sound like hes old enough to be dictating anything regarding smoking. Your roof - your right not to breathe that crap - let him go back to loser bio mom who lets him smoke
2007-02-14 13:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by ice_princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you! It's your house and it's up to you to decide if anyone is going to smoke in it. Since he ran back to his mommy, I would assume that he may be under the legal age to purchase smokes...and that's another reason to say no.
2007-02-14 13:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋