I'm sending out some cards
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Student of Psychology
A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the guy was terribly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
At this the guy responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean? $300?"
2007-02-14 05:18:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thanks! I needed that. I have a dirty elephank joke I've put on here before but hopefully it's new to you. .........A little boy is at the zoo with his father looking at the elephants. The little boy askes his father, "What's the thing hanging down there?" The father relpies, "Son, that's the elephant's trunk." The little boy says, no Dad, in the back. What's the thing hanging down there?" The father said, "That's the elephant's tail." The son said, "No Dad, you know what I mean. What's the thing hanging down there?" The father said, "OK, son. That's the elephant's penis." The little boy asked, "How come when I was here with Mommy, she said it was nothing?" He said, Son, your mother's spoiled!"
2007-02-14 05:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This should put a smile on your face: A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
2016-05-23 22:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice....I'm sitting in class right now and this made me smile. Have a great Valentine's Day!! =)
2007-02-14 05:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by All!c@ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL at the 1st 1
LMAO at the 2nd 1
2007-02-14 05:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by dfksone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hehehe the first one wasn't all that great but the second one was good!
2007-02-14 05:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ,loved the 2nd one a lot
2007-02-14 05:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by Maro's mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent jokes!!!
2007-02-14 05:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by dkiller88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha.
2007-02-14 06:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by THE UNKNOWN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING I REALLY LIKES THE SECOND JOKE THANKS FOR MAKING SOMEONES DAY TODAY I'LL SEND IT TO MY FRIENDS WHO IS SINGLE SO SHE CAN HAVE A REASON TO LAUGH OR SMILE TODAY
THANKS HAVE A GREAT VALENTINES DAY
2007-02-14 05:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by GIGGLES 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I've never heard that second one before. Those were really great; thanks.
2007-02-14 06:25:39 · answer #10 · answered by Wicawango 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋