He wants a second chance...?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we had an amazing thing going. He was sweet, considerate, loyal, and I really loved him and he really loved me. Two days ago my friends were over and when everyone was out of the room he asked my friend to flash him. Obviously she said no and I was very upset. When I asked him why he did it, he apologized and said "I don't know what I was thinking, I was just thinking of me and I ended up hurting both of you I'm so sorry. I guess, and I know how stupid this sounds, but I didn't think you'd get mad."

He wants me back, but I don't know if I can trust him again after what happened. I guess I just figure if he didn't care about me he wouldn't try to fix this. I'm really confused and looking for anyone who has some good advice for me. It really doesn't seem like something he would ever do, it's not like him ... but then again, he did it. It's valentine's day...I'm so confused.

I want to thank everyone for their advice, it's brought up points that I hadn't thought of before. Some of the things you've said really affirmed what I've been trying to tell myself. I still love him, and I do want to give him another chance. It'll take me time but if he wants to stick around and try we can work this out. I basically figured it is a stupid guy thing, and I really don't think he'll do it again. I hope. I'm going to write him a letter expressing exactly what I feel, we'll see where we go from there. Happy Valentine's Day!

Answer 1

you have every right who is he to do that to you let me tell you this if he did that to one of your friends he is probably doing it to others (cheating)you know that you should break it off as soon as possible and do not take him back cause remember you dont want to be worried that he is going to do it again but remember its whatever makes you happy;) i wish you good luck and happy valentines day

Answer 2

Well, you were the one involved in the relationship, so therefore you know him better than anyone that responds to your question. Was he intoxicated, or was he just feeling randy, leading him to have a poor lapse of judgement? These are questions that you should be asking him? If he hasn't done anything like this before, then I'd probably give him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. However whose to say that if your friend had flashed him, (in a moment of poor judgement), would it have gone further later, when you weren't around? Another thing to think about! You never really know what people are capable of, until they actually hurt you. You also never know what your capable of until you hurt someone. Give him a shot, if he does anything disrespectful like that again, leave. No relationship can last without trust and mutual respect. God is love. Happy V-Day.

Answer 3

I think it's great that he's trying to fix things, but let's look at the big picture here...Not only did he ask one of your friends to flash him, but he did it your own home...now with the information at hand, he's got balls doing this and if he will do it in you own home with one of your Friends, what do you think he does when he's not in your house and asking one of your friends? I think if the opportunity was given to him for someone to say yes, he would...there's no excuse for what he did...trust is a big issue and once you break that, will the relationship really work? No! Reason being is you will always wonder what he's doing when he's not with you and that reason right there will bring the relationship to worse conditions than they are right now...Ultimately the choice is yours...if you feel you can still trust him after what he did, go for it...good luck to you.

Answer 4

Flashing someone isn't the end of the world. It shouldn't be a deal breaker. You obviously have some feelings. Forget about it and move on. If it or other inappropriate behaviors start happening, then you'll need to address the problem.

Answer 5

All i can say is that if you really love him you would take him back in a heartbeat (instantly). But i know how you feel. Tell him to promise on his life that he won't do it again. If he does, kiss and make-up with him. If he doesn't then say that you can't trust him ever again. You have to make them feel guilty.

Answer 6

listen if he has done it once he well do it again and it well hurt worse and it well be worse but if you truly love him forgive him but if you can't forgive him and it is the only thing you think about then you need to move on because there is someone else out there that well treat you the way you need to be treated. you have to have trust, communication, and learn to forgive if you want it to work out. Tell him how you truly fell about it.

Answer 7

Are you fifteen? That's the only reason I could imagine (A) that you have a boyfriend who's asking people to flash him, and (B) that you care that he asked someone to flash him.

Answer 8

to tell you the truth, coming from a girl, thats if i guy sees one pair he wants to see them all. no matter what they look like or who they are attached too, its a guy thing. we as women dont understand it. he did apogize and it sounds like he really is sorry. he probably was thinking it when he said it but didnt mean to say it out loud. take him back.

Answer 9

give the poor guy another chance, if he does it again then ditch him!!!!!!

How do you expect to keep someone if you can't 2give them when they do something wrong??

People make mistakes.

Answer 10

you actually know who i am, im not going to say but your boyfriend has been cheating on you the entire time, dont give him a second chance,