I was friends with benefits with a friend of mine who's a bit younger than me (we werent seeing other people), now he thinks he's inlove with me. I keep trying to tell him he just thinks that because he's confusing good sex for love. he's upset that I dont want a serious relationship with him. we're just at different times in our lives and it wouldnt work out. i do care about him but i dont see it going anywhere and i kno it wouldnt work out. i keep trying to break it off because i dont want to hurt him but he keeps insisting. any advice?
no smartass comments please
2007-02-14 04:59:48 · 12 answers · asked by PAISA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you say you don't want to hurt him but you are doing just that by rejecting him....his feelings are real!!! young or not.. and how do you know it wouldn't work?? give him a try you might be surprised
2007-02-14 05:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mary S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be in love. I was in a "friends with benefits" type deal with a friend and I ended up falling for him. Or at least starting to. He was older, I was younger, we were in different times in our lives. Same kind of deal. I told him about it, and he said that he had feeling for me, but it wouldnt work out, (same deal as you). We decided to stop seeing eachother. We would still talk every now and then on the phone, but tried to physically stay away from each other so it wouldnt happen again. After a few months I got over it, and missed the sex, and we started up again, until he got a girlfriend his age! ha ha. I was cool with it. Maybe thats all you need is some time apart. Its always hard to leave good sex, but it saved our friendship, and if that is something you want to keep, i would do the same, and put some distance between the two of you. I have had a few arrangements with friends like this, because it was really convenient...but unfortunantly this is a reason why they tend not to last....its hard not to fall for someone that you are sleeping with, especially if you are friends.
2007-02-14 05:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by sjhockeyfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Benefits can become a pain some times. And you just discovered that.
I would suggest to talk to him seriously, and just tell him that you are not interested in him for a serious relation, and that you do care for him, and he must accept it. Chances are he is just looking for more sex and he is afraid not to find anybody else.
One idea could be to try to see if you can find him someone, maybe a friend of yours that might happen to like him? I bet you he will be ok if he finds someone else.
Either way, if you don’t want to be with him, he must accept it. Otherwise he is going to be miserable for a long time. Just make sure you don’t go and feel sorry and end up having sex with him again. That must stop or he will keep on trying to have you again.
Friends with benefits can be dangerous if there is a misinterpretation of feelings. Just make sure to put an end to it now before it gets worse.
2007-02-14 05:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so surprised that a friends with benefits situation turned out to be less than perfect.
I know you said no smartass answers, but the question is begging for one.
The answer is easy - be honest with him and be firm. End the FWB relationship as he clearly can't handle it. It's gonna cost you a friend, but those are the breaks.
2007-02-14 05:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a bit too late becaue you should have set things clearer at the beginning. You cant blame him for thinking you two are an item if you never set the record straight from the start. Let's hope you haven't spoilt a great friendship.
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/opposite-sex-friends.html
2007-02-14 05:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends w/benefits only works for people with no intentions of being romantically involved, past the sex. walk away from him and do'nt look back. this will save the both of you a lot of grief in the future.
2007-02-14 05:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by wedged15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is with the world today where we think sex has no strings attached? Someone will get hurt, thats just what happens.
2007-02-14 05:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either break it off or don't. Anyone that says, "I keep trying to break it off but blah blah blah" is full of crap. End it and walk away. Who's feelings are more important; yours or the other person?
2007-02-14 05:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by Cdub 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps insisting, then you may have to show him some "tough love." Or maybe get with someone else to show you really don't want to be with him.
2007-02-14 05:06:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that is was a friends with beneees relationship and that you never intended it to be any more then that.
2007-02-14 05:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by shorty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋