I invited my boiyfriend's cousin and her 9 yo granddaughter to stay with us until she got back on her feet. After a few days I knew it was not going to work. We live in a 2-bedroom apartment with a 6 yo daughter of our own and I felt uncomfrtable in my own home. I am a person who needs personal space and privacy. My invitation was genuine and I wholeheartedly wanted to help and felt good about helping. She has started saying things to imply that she is planning on staying 4-7 months! But honestly I cannot allow it even a day longer. My living room is now her bedroom! There is nothing wrong with their behavior, she cleans, and cooks and helps out some. But the $$ she said she was going to give us we have not seen. I want my space back! I want my privacy back! Last night her 2 yo grandson was to come stay as well. I was not asked or informed. I am starting to feel like I am being taken advantage. My boyfriend does not have a problem and welcomes the help. How do I tell them to go?
2007-02-14 04:56:44 · 4 answers · asked by lanluwil79 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there must be other family, being that this is a cousin it sounds like she has made her rounds through the family tree....
. you may want to take her to the leasing office and make her sign the lease also or the office may tell her she must go if not on the lease....
you could get kicked out for having that many people live in such a small apt. make her aware that when the lease is up she'll have to sign the new one also and will be responsible for 1/3 the rent due to the office.. if they want to stay then that's their issue with the apt Mgr.....
2007-02-14 05:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't take your invitation back. They are family and family sacrifices for family. Your privacy is gone. You need to adapt, be as friendly and hospitable to them as you can, because I can't imagine anything in the world that would feel worse than being in someone else's home, not having anywhere else to go, not having any money, having a child to care for, and knowing that you are not wanted, that you are a pain in the butt and that your family doesn't think you are worth the sacrifice of a little privacy so that you can have a place to sleep at night.
Vent to your girlfriends but as long as they are in your home you have an obligation to be the best and most supportive hostess you are able to be. There is no excuse in the world for treating family poorly in your own home. You are helping this poor woman change her life at a time in her life when she is absolutely helpless, broke and homeless.
Suck it up sister and act in a way that will make you proud of yourself. This isn't about standing up for yourself, this is about family. Be there, fully, for those people. They need you. And, they need you to be as cheerful and reassuring as you can fake being.
You can, however, sit down with the woman and discuss openly a time frame for her getting her life together. Make a plan with her and help her meet her goals. You will feel better about yourself, about the situation and for years and years to come, you will be remembered in a wonderful and loving light by this woman.
2007-02-14 05:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think that you should've gotten all the details before you agreed to this arrangement and gotten some money upfront. but after 2 days i thionk that's a little harsh. you all need to sit down and discuss the conditions of her staying there such as a set time limit for the stay and a price that is reasonable or suck up and let them stay for free so she can save the money to move. but let them know this is a small apt. and well there's not aenough room for everyone. but you need to to talk to your boyfriend first and come up w/ smthg reasonable that will make everyone involved happy. take care.
2007-02-14 05:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU MUST LET THEM KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL!!! Remember that it is your home and if you feel uncomfortable and taken advantage, you must let them know. It won't stop if you just don't say anything. If your boyfriend cares then you need to talk to him. What are you going to do if you have something really imprtant to tell him and you can't just discuse this problem.
You know what you want to do. You just wanted someone to say that they think it's ok the throw them out. You have it and go for it.
2007-02-14 05:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋