How can I overcome my social anxiety? It is hurting my relationship, I think..?

Question

Please help! I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months. We are both in love with one another. She has a 4 yr old daughter who I love also. Now, I am very unsocial. I get very anxious in social situations, and I even get nervous around her sometimes, which is pathetic in my opinion. I keep thinking to myself that I'm not good enough to be with her, but I treat her like a queen. I am not clingy, I take her and her daughter places, and I help her out a lot. I think actions speak louder than words. In the past, I told her that I feared she would get bored of me, but she has said that she loves me. One part of me thinks that she would not say she loved me if she truly didn't because she has a daughter in the picture. They are both in Hawaii, and I got a phone call last night. Her daugher was on the phone crying and saying how much she missed me. I love them both, and I don't want to lose them. I just think that with my bad upbrining, I'm going to make them miserable. Advice?

Answer 1

You are very insecure and no one can give you security but yourself. Something must have happened in your background to make you feel that you are not worthy for good things. Let me tell you , you are worthy and deserving of all the good that life has to offer for you. The problem is you are your own worst enemy. Practice patting yourself on the back and tell yourself that I am a great person and I deserve the love of this women and child in my life. Just be yourself and learn to relax and accept yourself as you are and then others will.You need to let her know the real you for there is a reason for the anxiety when you are around her. Why am I feeling that you are nervous because of something from your past that you are trying to hide. Be forthright about the past and move forward. If she truly loves you the past won't matter anyway.You are what you send into the Universe, so start sending positive thoughts about yourself. Say it a zillion times a day to yourself that I am special and somebody because you are. Say it to yourself until it becomes a part of your nature for you are what you think. Be strong, happy and relax in the moment and do not tell your girl that you are not good enough for her because you are.

Answer 2

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/Bjtvh

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.

Answer 3

Medication can now help with social anxiety disorder. Another possibility is therapy, but some therapies have been proven to be more beneficial than others. I would look into cognitive-behavioral therapy, which has research backing up its effectiveness. One common suggestion is to develop a plan of graduated exposure. List types of social situations and rank them in order of level of anxiety they provoke, and then try tackling each from lowest to highest anxiety. If this moves too fast you may need to break it into smaller steps.

Answer 4

hey have you ever been in counseling or are you taking meds. b/c if not i suggest doing both. you need to work on your issues b/f concentrating on a relationship. i have anxiety issues my self and well it's not easy but you also have to take care of your mental health as well or quite frankly you will always be a bundle of nerves and affect all those around you. and well i see that this woman cares deeply for you so get it together for everyone's sake. best wishes. trust me it does get better and easier. i've been married for 5 yrs.

Answer 5

Please help! I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months. We are both in love with one another. She has a 4 yr old daughter who I love also. Now, I am very unsocial. I get very anxious in social situations, and I even get nervous around her sometimes, which is pathetic in my opinion. I keep thinking to myself that I'm not good enough to be with her, but I treat her like a queen. I am not clingy, I take her and her daughter places, and I help her out a lot. I think actions speak louder than words. In the past, I told her that I feared she would get bored of me, but she has said that she loves me. One part of me thinks that she would not say she loved me if she truly didn't because she has a daughter in the picture. They are both in Hawaii, and I got a phone call last night. Her daugher was on the phone crying and saying how much she missed me. I love them both, and I don't want to lose them. I just think that with my bad upbrining, I'm going to make them miserable. Advice?

Answer 6

Two comments:

1) Don't keep telling her that you will bore her, because you will.

2) Go see a therapist, seriously, there's nothing wrong with that, have somebody just help you understand your fears, increase your self-esteem, etc.

Good luck

Answer 7

Your problem is that you have to rethink your self worth and build up your confidence. You have to remember that regardless of what you capablilities and talents are, you are as worthy as thwe next guy. If you have no faith in yourself, how can you expect anyone else have faith in you. Walk and talk with confidence, and you will influence others and gain their respect.

Answer 8

hey youre a good person. losing a man like you is a huge loss.

Answer 9

focus on the person that you are with and not everyone els and dont drink or eat anything that would boost your energy level that will not help

Answer 10

if she loves you dont worry about that