how do I let my ex go and move on?

Question

ok here is the story, my ex and I have been broken up for a few months now, we were together for over three years and I was so in love, I lost everything to him so now its really hard to let him go, In the begging of the break up it was ok, we still talked and still were having sex, then a month ago he tells me he is moved on and isnt in love with me anymore, I was so upset beacuse he kept saying he wanted to work everything out before we got back together, so I was confused, The past month have been really hard for me, he has been going out meeting girls and parting alot whitch he never really did when we were together, Now i am here trying to get my mind off him and move on like he did, He told me last night that the reason he goes and partys now is to keep his mind off me, so is he really over me? IDK he also told me he doesnt love me though to, I really need to move on and have some fun but beacuse he was my life for so long i dont know how to even start. how to I move on this time

Answer 1

time heals trust me

Answer 2

Do not jump into a new relationship on the rebound cause you"ll simply end up hurting someone the way you're hurting now.
People say I use volunteer work as a cure all for everything, and I do say it a lot, but thats because it really works.
When you are helping someone less fortunate than yourself, you begin to gain insite on what this life is all about.

Have you ever thought about going to a hospitai and reading to a sick child? Did you know their are premature lnfants on wards that have noone to hold them other than nurses?

I know because when my grand sons were born their were seversl infants that never got visitors. Did you know there are some aids patients that are abandoned by their families and
never recieve visitors?

If that is too hard for you, did you know that many classrooms are
over crowded and don't have a teachers aide and would love for someone to come and read them a story? ( I know cause I didthat and it was great fun)

Did you know that time will heal you and the pain will fade and you will be happy again, but in the meantime if you start to give of your time in a productive manner, that time will come about much faster, and you will be more open to whatever will be coming in your future, including a wonderful new lasting strong loving relationship. Good luck and I hope you give yourself a chance to heal and help others in the process!!

Answer 3

I know this is hurting you an awful lot, but whether or not he still has feelings for you and is just trying to deny those feelings by going out is not for you to worry about anymore. You are no longer together. If he does still have feelings for you, it is clear that he no longer wants to have feelings for you. Sure it hurts. It means you really, really cared deeply for him. Still, when a relationship is meant to be, then it will work out - even if two people have to be apart for awhile so they can see what it is like to be with other people and find that they love and miss the person they were with enough to get back together with them.

I think you need a good dose of girl fun. Get a female friend or two and go out dancing and have a good time. Go do something. Have a sleepover and do stupid stuff. My sister is someone who guys go ga-ga over - she NEVER has problems attacting guys. She just has not found the right one yet. She has many friends who are girls who she enjoys spending time with. She once had a sleepover and they played games, watched movies, pigged out on junk food and had a great time having fun and being silly. That is a good way to get your mind off of this guy. I think though that if you go out in public with a couple of friends, and dress to kill, you will find that when you see the attention that other guys are giving you, you will begin to realize that life CAN go on without your ex. You don't have to meet someone new right away. It's just important for you to see that you CAN meet someone new. You CAN attract men. You CAN go on without your ex. Life does go on. Live your life. When your ex sees the new and confident you, he may realize what he gave up and want you back. By that time however, you may realize what you lost and be glad you moved on. You just never know. The important thing is to realize that life really does go on after a painful break-up and it is time you live your life. You go girl!!!

Answer 4

The only thing that will heal is time, some people can move on faster than others since it's been a few months you need to start dating or find a guy friend to ease some of the pain, i hope every thing works out for you take care =)

Answer 5

Your ex sounds like he is definite about his desire to remain seperated from you, although he acknowledges that it is sometimes difficult to do so. It may help you both to seperate yourself from each other. Take his lead and find your own distractions. You need someone and something to 'crowd out the thoughts of your ex'. It is difficult to move on after a relationship has ended, but you're stronger than you think you are. It takes time to 'get your sea legs.' It's not so bad being alone. Solitude serves many purposes. You need to focus on yourself, figure out who you are and what you want at this stage of your life. Let go of the dream of reuniting with your former love. It takes two people to have a relationship.

Answer 6

First of all it's going to take time some people heal in days, months or years. Then some don't but just go out with family an friends enjoy life, because life is too short to be hung up on somebody who say they don't want to be with you. Also how old or you, because life is all about experience, we are going to go through some things throughout our life. The things just make us stronger just enjoy life before its's gone.

Answer 7

Just move on do things to keep your mind off of him go out with your girls have fun. And the only reason that he told you he only goes out to keep his mind off of you is because he wants to still screw but if he said he dont love you no more than he dont love you no more. And if you guy were ment to be then things will fall into place shortly.
Good luck getting over him

Answer 8

It is hard to move on i recently been with my ex for 4 yrs its vey hard knowing he wont be there I just try to keep busy go out and youll find someone i promise everything takes time and if he moved on u can also dont let him see u cry it only makes things worse

Answer 9

I know how you feel, "loosing everything", the only thing I don't get is why are you still having sex with him? I dont want to sound like a hypocrite and tell you that you should get over it. Because for alot of people who has never been in love before its easy to say that. But i understand that once you have been with someone for that long, you commit to actually having sex with them, its EXTREMELY hard for you to detached yourself from him. So I understand. Seriously honey, he is not partying to get over you, that is not a legitimate reason to break up with you. He is only partying because he has been with you for way too long, and now he wants to be around other girls. He gives you that bogus reason because he just wants to keep you available, when he wants to come back to you. So evidently he does like you, he just wants to be with other women at the time. Because if you think about it, if he really like you, he wouldnt want to get his mind off of you, then he wouldnt have to party. Seriously, right now he probably feels like you ''need'' him too much, thats why he is acting that way. You are showing him that you need him alot.

My advice to you sweetheart, is just to go and party! Have fun, like you said you have been with this guy for so long, Just go out there clubbing, hang out with your friends again, and just partyand make sure he knows you are. If you talk to him on the phone don't make it out like you need him alot, hint off to him that you still like him but Show him that you can party the same, and how he reacts to that, will show you exactly how he feels about.

Heres some senarios:
1. He confronts you with anger, telling you that you are cheating on him, or is accusing you for not likking him, and blaming you of things.
that would just mean that he is jealous, and hurt that you partied, he is only trying to blame you to make you feel like you shouldnt be doing what you are doing, to make you feel bad about yourself. Just let him know, "you were the one that wanted to b reak up with me, and you started to party"

2. Wants to get back with you, start all over
Since its been a long relationship, go ahead give him another chance.

If he has no reaction just slowly try to move on.

But either way,go out and have some good fun! :]

take care
Saphire

Answer 10

three years is a very long time. believe me, if you really cared as much as you say you do/did, it's going to take a lot longer than a couple of months to "get over" this guy. it sounds like he's just as confused as you are. first thing you must do: no more sex with him. i know this seems unbearable to think about, but many females cannot separate the emotions of sex from the physical feeling(s) it gives us. the sex is just adding to your problems. next, ween from him gradually. it's going to be a work in progress, and you will stumble backwards from time to time. the important thing here is to not rush anything. don't force yourself into thinking you're over this person, when in reality you're not...that just gets you into a whole other heap of trouble. do you have any girl-friends you can confide in??? instead of calling him and expressing how you feel to him, call one of your girls...don't ask for advice, just vent. you can always find a hobbie, or do whatever it was you used to do before he was in your life. bottom line, when you care for someone as deeply as you did, it takes a while for your heart to mend. just be honest with yourself. and you'll be fine. don't be afraid to express your feelings...if you feel like screaming, scream!!! if you feel like crying, then cry. if you feel like punching something, then go to the gym and work out the frustration (i know that helped me) don't be afraid to experience new things...without him. we as women must learn that we must love ourselves more than we do our men. harsh i know, but it helps when we are faced with a dilema such as yours. but give it time girl...that's really the only thing that's going to mend your heart right now.

Answer 11

Well Obviously what he did worked for him so it's up to you to do the same thing, Get out of the house be around your friends trust me it helps and try and meet somone new I guarantee you when you meet someone new and special you won't even think about him