future wedding drama?

Question

my bf and i have been talking about marriage for a while as well as a wedding. i had a question about the guests at the wedding. there are a group of his high school girl friends that he obviously still talks to when he runs into them at the bar or other weddings we go to. well one of girls had a crush on him when we started dating 4 years ago and now that entire girl group is rude to me whenever they see me to the point where they say hello to him and turn their heads to me. (like high school) and it is plain as day so that he can see it. they have tried to tell him that i am a b**** because i never got to know them but to me, if they are his friends they should try getting to know me. although i have tried to get to know them but they dont care. is it wrong of me to say i dont want them at the wedding or should i swallow my pride since they are his old friends?

if you know me you will know i am not a mean spirited person so it bugs me that they are rude to me

Answer 1

I think they are rude to you out of jelousey. That is what I smell from this situation. It isn't you not wanting to get to know them, it is them placing the blame on you so they "look better" to him than you do.

It is a female common behavior when jelousey arises. We are both females, we should know that much lol.

Honestly, It is your wedding too and should not "swollow" pride to people who are rude and who do not wish the best for you both.

You can invite them just to show they can't "get to you" as you should not let them. The show them he choose you.

You don't have to invite them if you feel you will be focused on their behavior during the wedding causing you depression, anxiety and nervousness.

You and him are only talking about it and before you begin to say "I do". You have to let him know where you stand before you two get engaged.

Talking to ex gf's or past crushes is no harm, only if no harmful actions are taken. Although, he should not tolerate such behavior and he better begin to stand up to you. He is allowing the rudeness.

If the girls don't say hi to you, don't ignore it. Say hi to them first. Smile, be pleasent and offer conversation. This will show infront of him that you are trying and it is them who are conflicting.

If he see's it and does nothing, the problem isn't the girls anymore. The problem is himself. That is when you need to think long and hard whether this problem will carry into marriage and if you can handle it. Once it goes into marriage, you pretty much married him knowing this and knowing it wouldn't change then so it won't in marriage.

Answer 2

aw my heart goes out to you! I know what that is like. My fiance was good friends with his ex to the point of telling her all of our problems!!! ( that was when we first started dating) It has been 7 years now and it is much better but I had to swallow my pride and over the last couple of years her and I are friends, somewhat! I enjoy her company and we have talked about past differences. (things almost got violent back in the day!) She is invited to our wedding for two reasons one being that she is a friend and the other to of course prove that me and my mans love is true and lasting and that we are willing to show everyone that! Good luck, the high road is always a hard one but sometimes the best one. At the same time if you have tried and failed then you have done everything you can!

Answer 3

I think that it is rude of your boyfriend to still talk to them after how they act towards you. If you and him are at the point where you are seriously thinking about getting engaged, then you guys are probably at the point where you are going to have to be to hang out with people who all get along with each other. If he is serious about you, he shouldn't even be hanging out with a group of other girls. Thats very questionable. If that were my fiance, he wouldn't have it if some girls were talking smack about me. I would definately not invite them to the wedding if I were you. They probably will bring crappy gifts and try to start drama lol

Answer 4

Am I understanding this? You and your companion have been mutually for 5 years, and he or she invites him to her wedding ceremony without inviting you besides? which could be unacceptable. Your companion could hint that something isn't quite amazing, as in "Lisa and that i've got been an merchandise for some years and flow everywhere mutually. i does no longer sense amazing attending the marriage without her." If the folk internet hosting the prepare consultation have a modest funds, they won't have the skill to accommodate the companions of all of the attendants. i does no longer make an argument of no longer being invited to the prepare consultation. in case your companion is a member of the marriage party and you're no longer, then you definately would desire to no longer anticipate to be seated on the top table. Use this opportunity to be a "social angel" and introduce human beings, steer the verbal substitute far flung from risky waters, and in any different case unobtrusive help the hosts. you heavily isn't "area of the kinfolk" interior the way that blood family members are, so provide up waiting for it. relish it for what that's quite of fretting that it's not something else.

Answer 5

My opinion is that it's your wedding to him. You can go two ways on this situation.

First, you can invite them and show them that he's your husband, you come first. But that's a bit of a power game and can go the opposite way if he chooses to pay attention to them at the wedding. I don't really recommend playing their game this way.

Second, you can discuss this with your finace, and not invite them to the wedding. Honestly, this is supposed to be a happy day for the two of you, and having guests who aren't supportive of that can be a total let-down for your entire occasion. If they aren't friendly to you, they shouldn't be invited to an occasion that's all about your happiness as a couple.

Answer 6

If I was in your position I would go ahead and invite them. Afterall they are his old friends. If they dont like you and dont want to see you and him get married.. they may not show up. But, if they do.. they will see how happy he is with you and since you will be on your grounds (your wedding your family your day) you will be able to be yourself more and they may just like who they see. Besides... with all the other people around, they would have to have some big nerve to be rude to the bride on her wedding day! (plus you will be so happy and excited you just may not notice that they are there!!!)

Answer 7

If you two are serious about marraige, then he needs to tell these girls to buzz off, because a marraige is based on love, trust, and r-e-s-p-e-c-t and if he loves you, then he will be with YOU, not playing games with a bunch of girls who act like teenagers. I would not give him an ultimatum, but you need to sit down and talk to him and both of you lay out what you're looking for in a marraige. You'll soon find out that the closer you grow together, negative, silly things like this situation is going to resolve itself. And another piece of advice. If you run into these girls, always smile sweetly and be kind, it's obvious first of all that they're jealous of you, and secondly, it shows you have class! Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

I would not invite them to the wedding. If they want to be your friends they would have attempted a long time ago to get to know you. It is obvious that these girls just want to give you a hard time or break you guys up. The final say is up to you. Good luck.

Answer 9

talk to your viance about your feeling, but never make this blooked your way to happiness.

let them come, show that you are better than them, and not a crazy highschool prom girl(like they are)

eventually if your fiance understood he will look at you as mature and very kindperson.

i'm sure you are.

don't mind about them.

if they still mean to you show them that you can live well without them, and with the man you loved and love you back.

so good luck for the wedding!

Answer 10

I'm a firm believer that they only people invited to a wedding should be people who are there to celebrate your marriage. If they don't find your marriage a reason to celebrate, then they shouldn't be there.