Ok, me and this girl have been together for a few weeks now, i met her at work. The thing im stressing about is that this guy at work always gives her rides home and they're always hanging out when i call her, but she says that they're good friends and i don't know exactly how long they've been friends . Should i believe her or what? How would i know she wont fall for him in the future. Im afraid that me and this girl will get real serious later on, and then fall for the other guy cuz she's knowen him longer.
2007-02-14 04:24:51 · 24 answers · asked by 619 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Women think they can have a 'guy friend' and it will stay at that.
Most guys think being a friend will lead to something more. This guyfriend is hanging out because:
He is one of the small percentage of men whoare not gay and can be friends with women and not expect more.
He is gay.
He has a girl friend, but wants more lined up for the future.
To shy to go any farther.
Is waiting for her to be unhappy, so he can make his move as the 'comfort guy'
If she wants this other guy later, why is this a problem? You can't force someone to like you more. You will probably find out later if you ever do get serious. For now just enjoy each other.
Try to become friends with this guy. You could remain friends long after the girl is gone, or you'll find out what he is up to.
2007-02-14 04:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Doug G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your answer is simple. Talk to your girlfriend. It is the only way to calm your concerns. Find out about this guy friend and how long they have known each other. Just express your worries but don't make it seem as though you don't trust her cause that will come back to bite you. Just explain that yo care for her and wanted to know about her friend so you don't have to worry or think certain things some where down the road. It's like solving a problem before it actually starts if you see what I mean. In any case at least you will know the truth and then that way you can move on from this conflict. Good luck!
2007-02-14 04:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: it is entirely possible for women and men to be platonic friends. I have a (girl) friend I've known since high school (I'm in my 30s); for a year or so, we even lived together platonically. We've never, ever, ever hooked up in any way, shape or form, and neither of us want to. It happens that we each want different things from friends than we do from partners. So the existence of this guy isn't necessarily a red flag.
However: you're throwing some red flags for me, because you've only been seeing this girl for a few weeks -- and already you're suspicious of this guy. Hey, in the first few weeks of dating, it's appropriate for you (and her) to be dating other people as well, provided you're both being up front about it. Initially, dating should be about enjoying yourself and seeing if you're both compatible; it isn't until you get a bit more serious that you should worry about competition.
Also, do you really think that "length of time known" equates to "amount she will love a guy"? That's nonsense, and in fact the opposite is more likely true: the longer a girl knows a guy as a friend, the LESS likely they are to start dating. It's not unheard of, certainly, but ask any guy who is "friends" with a girl and wants to start dating them just how likely that is. In fact, in my experience this only happens when the guy has been hitting on the girl from the beginning, and she's been rejecting him.
At the end of the day, either you're the kind of guy that this girl can be with, or you're not; worrying about the presence of another guy is a dead-end street, because THE WORLD IS FULL OF OTHER GUYS and -- horrors! -- she MIGHT MEET ANOTHER GUY AT ANY TIME. If you think that dating a girl means she shouldn't hang out with other guys, you're being unrealistic.
One final note: she should be open about her relationship with this guy; you and he should meet, and the three of you should hang out on occasion (once she decides she's serious about dating you.) If she's all for it, then you're in good shape. He might NOT be for it; it's possible he does want to date her, and he'll see you as a threat just like you see him as one, but it's not his intentions that matter -- it's hers.
2007-02-14 05:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok i know from personal experience that its hard to have a boyfriend and then have a really good guy friend, my best friend just so happens to be a man. But my boyfriend understands that yes ive known shane (best friend) longer, and we hang out all the time thats where it ends, we are just friends for a reason, because i want to be with my boyfriend, thats probably whats going on in your situation, if your girl isnt with this guy she hangs out with ALL the time there is probably a reason for it, like maybe she likes you? just something to think about!
2007-02-14 04:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Ashley♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from a girl who has had a very close guy friend and a boyfriend at the same time. We love our guy friends, but only as friends. We usually stay faithful to our actual relationships. We might just act closer because we have known our friends longer. It will get smoother over time.
2007-02-14 04:29:44 · answer #5 · answered by heathersk_89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes gay! Dont stress i have male friends and thats exactly what they are friends im always taking one on my mates places were great friends hes not gay and i have a boyf i even get on well with his family people are always telling us we make a great couple but were just not into each other that way.
2007-02-14 04:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by kazz06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If theyv'e been friends for such a long time already and they haven't fallen for each other yet, maybe they never will. you should believe her. After all, your relationship will never get anywhere without trust. Get to know her guy friend better, then you can see how he feels about her better.
2007-02-14 04:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by buttercup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've already have a feeling that somethings not right you need to get out before you get in any deeper. This is especially true if you've talked with her about this and she hasn't done anything to put your mind at ease. And never, ever date somebody you work with.
2007-02-14 04:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by PasoBrio13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if you can ge to know the guy too. if she says no, then you should start worrying. if she has nothing to hide, she would want you to get to know her friend. and if you do meet him, act cool- if you start acting jealous, things might now work out between u and your girl
2007-02-14 04:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by Laurel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were going to get involved with him she already would have. If she is not hiding the relationship with you from him I'd say you have nothing to worry about.
2007-02-14 04:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋