For example this Christmas as we exhanged gifts, my son(previous marriage)was not bought for, even though they have bought for in the past. He is a teenager and they feel that he doesnt call them enough!He barely calls anyone in the family, because he is a teenager! Working, staying away from drugs and other negative forces! Then in January I had a death in my family and NOONE from that house bothered to call me, or even come to the services even though they knew the person, went to his sons wedding, went to his house! I spoke up to my husband and he had a meeting with his parents and it got twisted around to look like it was my fault I am tired of being seemed like a mean person.I am angry that they would have my son over to watch people open gifts and have none for him!! I am hurt about them not even caring enough to send a card to my sister! However they went people to care for them, and make time for them when they dont care about me and my family!
2007-02-14 04:10:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to your husband about it, try to make him do something about it. Tell him to tell (or you can do this) his parents that you guys love eachother and if they are mad about the marriage it is their problem!
2007-02-14 04:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by Rover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they invite you just dont go let your husband get fed up with it if they are going to make evrything your fault anyway just block them from your life they will call you all the more but at least you wont have to listen to them. I wish i had another answer for you but it sounds like you have tried all the other roots and they are very shallow thoughtless people i wouldn't dream of leaving someone out because they came from someones previous marriage and surely they understand hes a teenager when i see my nephews im lucky if i get a hi out of them let alone a phone call infact if they did phone me for a chat id panick and think something was wrong because it would be so out of character for a them or any teenager.
2007-02-14 04:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by kazz06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no excuse for how they treated your son , and I applaude your husband for standing up and meeting with his family.( Good looking out). At some point you are going to have to stand up for yourself and your feelings, let them know that you didn't appreciate how they treated your son , and the other issues that you have with them. If they still refuse to take responsibility for their actions, then a line has to be drawn. ( You and your husband set standards of what is acceptable and what's not.) Don't start and then stop , people will do what you allow them to do to you. STAND YOUR GROUND AND DON'T TAKE DOWN.
Stop allowing them to make you feel that everything is your fault, or twisting things around meet them head on, ( as politely as possible , smile), Let them know that you mean what you say , and say what you mean. (Tell your son keep up the good work ).
2007-02-14 04:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by Priscilla B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Halloween is not an evil day. Historically, people dressed up to scare away evil spirits on the evening before All Saints Day which is November 1 which is a religious holy day! You are right, you can't run your life around everyone else's and if you want to get married, get married. As I learned when I recently got married on Sunday, if his family really cares about you, they will be there to celebrate with you. If you try to make everyone else happy, you end up not making yourself happy. They are obviously doing what they want with their life, don't let them run yours because if you do that now, they know that they will be able to control you and will walk all over you for the rest of your married life!!
2016-03-29 06:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't sound very nice. But sometimes issues that are big today, may not look the same in a week. Maybe you could let this go and see what happens. They really should have acknowledged your son with a gift, I can't imagine not have gifts for everyone attending, unless they didn't know they were coming. In any event, please give them the benefit of the doubt this time. I am sorry for your loss. Big HUG
2007-02-14 04:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard this over and over, and lived it myself until I finally realized that unfortunately you cannot choose the family you have, nor the in-laws you acquire but you can limit the amount of time you spend with them. Your kids don't have to put up with their crap either! Many times we follow the socially accepted BS that we are led to believe. (When you marry the man, you marry the family) Nothing could be further from the truth! You're husband has to understand your position in this whole matter. He has to support you before anyone else.
Sit him down and assertively tell him that you are not willing to put up with the ill treatment you and yours receive from HIS family. It is up to him to find an acceptable solution to this situation.
I had to put my foot down with my family. They were constantly rude, abusive and obnoxious to my wife and daughters. I was patient for a long time, thinking that maybe, just maybe, my family would wake up and smell the coffee but since that was not the case, I opted to cut all ties with them. I have not spoken to my mother and sisters for the past four years. My immediate family is much more important to me than my mother, sisters or any one else, for that matter!
Brace yourself for some resistance from your hubby but don't let your guard down!!!
Happy Valentine's day to you and yours!
2007-02-14 04:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know if they cannot acknowledge your son you will have nothing to do with them. And they can label you anyway they want, your son and family will always come first over them.
2007-02-14 04:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
then the descion is yours if that is the way they are gonna be then leave them alone. make sure that when they are in your house they respect you and your marriage and if they don't like it then they can leave. family is family but they don't always get along
2007-02-14 04:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by Charlie H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your loss, it's theirs. I would say the H*** with them. Wipe the dust off your feet and keep on getting up!!!!
2007-02-14 04:16:49 · answer #9 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from them, they don't deserve to have you in their lives. Hopefully your husband will stick up for you.
2007-02-14 04:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋