4 year old daughter demands all the attention?

Question

My daughter is getting to be impossible to live with. She will 5 in april and seems to be getting worse. She gets into EVERYTHING. You literally have to be watching her every second. She empties spices all over the cupboards,ketchup,barbecue sauce,ANYTHING. She even put the dirty cat litter in my closet. She sreams and whines about every little thing. She doesn't seem to listen,she even says "i don't care what I've been told...."
I am at my wits end. We just last night discussed ritalin use for her. She runs away in stores saying she'll be good. If you can manage getting her in a cart she kicks her shoes off and of course everone is looking.

She throws tantrums all the time which I try to ignore and not give in. Even her teacher said she demands all of his time.

I can't see this being normal behaviour for a 4 almost 5 year old.If her brother or sister say something her answer is just the same but she expects you to listen to only her.

can someone help with some suggestions?

I do spank her,not often enoughLOL.

But anyway I told her not to touch the computer,she did and I smacked her hands. I told her from now on if she touches any spices or anything food realted she will be eating it. I am constantly yelling,and doing so as I write this because I don't want her alone anywhere. I mean even in the car she takes her boots and socks off even her coat. No one wants to watch her at all because she refuses to listen. Time outs don't work,she just talks and talks and talks,moving her arms all the time.

I don't know what to do,I hate the thought of medication. I find it so odd how she can talk from the minute she wakes up till 11 at night and she runs all the time,no matter how much you tell her to stop.

I know she understands rules because when she tattle tales that is a sign she realizes right from wrong. Why is it she doesn't know that what she does is wrong?


There she goes with the talking again,and also she has to follow you so closely.

another thing. We had to go out and refused to take her with us so my mother inlaw watched her. Well my daughter single handed ate 5,that's right 5 pudding cups!

I bought a box that had 30 rice krispies in it,not even 13 hours later i had only 3 left!!!

it is like this all the time.

Answer 1

Time out chair.

Answer 2

you need to make a plan and then stick to it. Decide on punishments and tell her what is going to happen. Writing a list of rules is often quite good and stick them up in the kitchen and in her bedroom. Most of her behaviour is attention seeking so you need to give her lots of attention when she is behaving and none when she is not. One thing I can tell you is that her tantrums will get worse at first. This can be very discouraging but don't give up. It is just that before tantrums and bad behaviour have got her attention so it will take a while for her to realise that it doesn't work any more.
Also introduce a reward chart. Break it up into very small bits to start with, say 2 hour slots. If she behaves in that slot then she gets a sticker if she doesn't then she gets a sad face. At the end of the day she gets to watch tv, play with her favourite toy, have a slightly later bedtime, according to how many stickers she has. Even one should have a reward to start with. If she isn't getting any by the end of hte week then make the slots shorter. Your other children can have the same scheme so she sees them getting rewards when she doesn't. Also look at her diet. Cut the amount of sugar she eats and cut out all sweets except for a reward. Cut out colourings as well you should find that should help her calm down. Does she have any food she eats or drinks a lot of? Like Coca cola or a certain candy or even icecream. Cut it out completely for a week and see what happens. Again she may feel worse to start with but should be better by the end of the week. If you do all this for 6 weeks and you see no improvement then try ritalin. Try and get some one who will support you. You will find it hard to do it alone but it can be done. If necessary come back on here and just ignore those who believe a smack is the answer to everything. Also don't worry what people think when you are out. If she takes her shoes off just put them in your bag and continue to ignore her. Some will be looking at you judgementally but the rest of us are thinking,'Yep, we've been there.' All the best.

Answer 3

First off, I am very glad that you are not angry at Bentley and rambling about getting rid of him. Prednisone is known to sometimes cause mood changes, so this may have been the cause of him snapping. My best advice would to be to keep Bentley controlled around your daughter while he is on the medicine and don't let your daughter get too close to him. A day or two after he is taken off the meds you can feel free to let them be together as you normally would. I don't approve of dogs being punished but in a situation where you can't really give any type of positive reinforcement, a stern "bad dog, shame on you" would have been appropriate. No dog should ever be punished physically. It doesn't teach them anything but to be fearful towards humans which can lead to aggression. If your daughter is now afraid of Bentley, explain to her that Bentley was protecting you and didn't mean to hurt her. In short, I think the medicine is causing Bentley to feel overly protective of you. The protective behavior should subside once the meds are out of his system, but if it doesn't some training will be necessary. Good luck (:

Answer 4

OH MY WORD!!!!

Do you read what you are writing here. I can not understand why you are letting this child run your home and life.

I work in a preschool with kids with all sorts of disabilities. We have one child in my room that sounds just like your daughter and she is not even yet 4. She gets away with everything at home. She hates it literally when we take away her free play, movie time, and even having to sit in timeout. But because we are in a preschool we can not do a lot of displines because it has to do with the laws on preschool and all that.

If she were my child that would have been nipped in the bud a lonnnnnnng time ago. I can not believe you let her just go about the house doing how she pleases. She does need a good spanking. It would gain her attention. And tantrums....if in public take her out of the place and take her home. Let her have them there but ignore it because the more attention she gets from those she will use it. When she is good and calm then give her the attention she does seem to want and crave. Set boundries and such because that is what they do need.

Answer 5

Stop rewarding her for her actions. I'm assuming you don't spank your children? A swift whop on the rear might get her attention. If you or the other children are trying to talk and she interrupts, ignore her and act like she's not there and continue your conversation. Praise the other children for their good manners in front of the problem child. Let her hear you telling them that you enjoy rewarding them for being good. Also, at this age, she can understand what you are telling her. Take her into a quiet place and sit her in your lap or lay across the bed and have a parent/daughter talk. Don't fuss or act angry, just talk to her about the way she behaves and tell her that other people and her teachers are noticing it and they think they she needs to take medicine for it. Children don't like taking medicine. Tell her that she is a big girl now and that you know she understands the rules at home and at school and if you break the rules, you get punished. Let her know that if she doesn't choose to behave that she will not be able to enjoy all the things the other kids enjoy. Assure her that you love her and that you know she can do better because no one wants to be around someone that doesn't have good manners.

ATTENTION!!!-I just read what you added. I think SUGAR is her problem. What she is eating is effecting her. My son was the same way, he cannot handle a lot of sugar. You will see a big difference if you cut out the sugar and caffeine.

Answer 6

Wow, I would say maybe she is not getting to spend enough time with you and is being bad to get you to notice her. I have a daughter who is almost 3, I am a fulltime college student and looking for work so a lot of my time is used for those things. I have noticed that when it is a time where I have devoted more time to school or job hunting over several days that she gets bad and gets into things in order to pull my attention away from everything else. Definately try time out, don't let her get away with anything, show that you are the boss and what you say goes and that's it. Ritalin may not be the solution it can actually make it worse.

Answer 7

Oh goodie another parent who is teaching their children to hit. I can't wait until she hits someone in school. She has obviously never been disciplined...for the record...discipline and punishment ARE two different things. Punsihment without discipline doesn't work...you're daughter is proving it. Guess what? Some kids you DO have to watch all the time. You put things UP where they can't reach them. You keep the cat's litter box where she can't get to it and if she's allowed in your bedroom without permission you failed right there. My daughter was not allowed in my bedroom unless invited. But then I disciplined my daughter and didn't need to punish her. We used the behavior/reward system. Television, videos, video games, telephone, computer stereo, hanging with friends were PRIVELIGES, that she had to EARN before she got them. We had rules. If any of the rules were broken she didn't earn any privleges. If she behaved she got priveliges. Her television time was limited to an hour in the evenings, and I chose the programming, she did NOT have a television in her bedroom. The bedroom is not the place for televisions, stereos or computers. My daughter wasn't a "perfect angel" she had her moments...but they cost her. When she was two she acted up in a store and it resulted in he not going shopping with mom (her favorite activity) for 6 monhts. I never hit my daughter, never grounded her..so all I can say is stop hitting her for one thing, besides it's already proven NOT to work anyway. Are you planning on beating the crap out of her just to MAKE it work?

Answer 8

Put your foot down! Stick to your discipline choice and DON'T give in! Take away the sugar & caffine food & beverages. If nothing helps you may need to consult her doctor for advice. Good luck & hope things valm down soon!

Answer 9

Time out can definatly work, put her in time and and if she wants to scream and yell let her. If she knows her being bad will get your attention she will continue to do so. Have insentives for when she is good. Hope This Helps

Answer 10

Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned spanking. Set boundries for your child and if she crosses them, spank her...out of love of course. Don't just always give her verbal warnings. Reward her when she is good by giving her privledges or her favorite candy. Tell her if she is good you will reward her. Make it a game and make it fun.

Answer 11

Call Nanny 911. You have a crisis on your hands. You need to give her consequences for her actions. Keep your reasonings short and sweet. Give her choices "you" can live with. Do not give in.