Step Son 13 yr old suffering from depression - how do I get help?

Question

He lost his mum to cancer almost 2 years ago, had to change schools, has made very few friends and doesn't seem to make or maintain friendships - all too much bother. He never spoke about his mums illness or cried when she died, he is closed emotionally. His mum made promises that she would get better throughout the illness and he may be hanging on to this as he hates a promises being made and says they always get broken - event though sometimes a suggestion 'lets go to the cinema' if we don't go is a broken promise! He is performing ok at school, although he forgets homework etc. Can be very hyper too - over compensating in groups to become a joker by being childish. Trying to look at his social skills, they seem to be missing alot of the time, saying embarrassing things in front of guests, farting or innappropriate language being used. If he doesn't get what he wants he creates a fuss and plays people off. He tells lies and is secretive, doesn't eat well, refuses advice and looks ill

Answer 1

i say start talking to his M.D. ask for a referral to a physiologist and a therapist. or contact your insurance co. and ask where you can find one.
a child, or anyone for that matter, when going through a hard time needs someone to talk to.

i hope everything works our well for you and your family.

Answer 2

i really feel for you all, however he is lucky as he has a caring stepmum who doesn't sound like shes trying to ignre the fact that his mum has died! My cousing died 3 and half yrs ago and their stepmum hardly lets them mention their mum, and their dad is even worse! I suggest you either try and talk it through with him or talk to your health visitor or gp! have you ever shown him the story of waterbugs and dragonflies, you can download it on the web, it's for children about death but it has a lovely sentement and has been a help to many adults too! I wish you luck and I know he will be okay having someone so kind like you around, not every bereaved child is so fortunate!
Good luck!

Answer 3

aunestly this is coming from your son's point of view. all you can do is love him..and not in the mushy sort of way..because sometimes as depressives we need our space, but we need to know we are loved. maybe counceling would be a good idea? and never promising thigs you KNOW you can not keep. its sooo hard watching people suffer and i know you must feel sooo hopeless and helpless, but aunestly you need to let him no he is cared for without over doing it...and give him his space. i know i need my space a lot just to sit and think and figure everything out. also councling would be a really good idea...but make sure he is all by himself, and dont ask him how it went. let that be private. let that be his thing. dont ask him to share...i think that was what was hardest with my mom. she wanted to know how i felt and if i was doign better...and it just stressed me out. i didnt know becuase i was so confused and down that i could tell myself how I FELT. imagine what its like to not know an aswer to a question and be asked the question repeatedly over and over. youw ant to give the answer but you cant. its lost in translation....love him. give him space. know hes cared about and get him into a good male counclor...a fun young guy-maybe? who specializes in kids. good luck dear. i hope this goes well. i know how hard it can be, keep that chin up and try not to worry to much. prayers!-Me