So this is my situation - I am 19 years old and still a virgin - I'm not very experienced at all, as I was only allowed to start dating when I turned 16 and have never been in a serious relationship. I believe that sex is still something that should be shared with someone who you love and have been with for a while - I have never been a person who would take part in just "casual sex" - clearly lol. Is this a huge turn off for guys? Lately I've only been meeting guys who are quite experienced and this makes me nervous - especially since most people often enough don't believe that I've never had sex before. I'm just starting to see a guy who I know is quite experienced - when is it appropriate to tell him that I've never had sex before? He already assumes that I'm a "good girl" and he's really okay with that...but I don't think he's aware that I'm still a virgin. Any help in this area would be muuuuch appreciated lol.
2007-02-14 03:01:42 · 17 answers · asked by Elise 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thank you for all you're great answers...and I thought I should add just a little more information...a reason why I am so nervous to be honest about my virginity is because the last time I thought a guy was expecting too much too soon I was honest and said hey by the way can you kind of keep this to yourself because it's really no one else's business - I was really just shy - anyways he basically turned out to be a jerk and his answer back was well it's not like I really needed to know either....sooo that's why I'm a tad weary :S
2007-02-14 03:50:03 · update #1
Don't know about this guy
it varies so much from guy to guy
Some guys will be totally flattered - here's this chick who won't do it with anyone else - she wants me to be her first... very flattering.
Some guys (particularly guys who have had experience) will be a little wary - if you're going to do it with this guy and he's your first well then he's got a lot of expectation to live up to. You might go all clingy on him etc.
The only way you'll know is to talk it over with him.
2007-02-14 03:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it that attracts you to this man? If you strongly believe that sex is something that should be shared between two people who really love each other, and he obviously doesn't feel that way. If you continue to date guys that are very experienced, you won't get very far in that relationship. Most men that have been with alot of women do it for a reason, and they won't want to give that up. He will go out and get the sex that he desires from someone else while waiting for you to give it up. Why don't you try finding a man who values sex as much as you do. They are out there. If this man is someone you really want to be with, I think you should have told him from the start that you were a virgin and don't plan on having sex any time soon. That is something that someone should know, so that they can decide if it is something they want to pursue or not.
2007-02-14 03:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is a big turn off for guys who are just looking to have a good time and satisfy their sexual cravings. But for a man with good intentions this is an honor. Don't sell yourself cheap. Wait for the right man that has something to offer you. Disassociate yourself from guys that you know only have one thing on their mind. Be patient good things come to those who wait. And yes your virginity is a big thing. It should be shared with someone like your future husband to be. The man that you would like to have children by. Don't be concerned about how inexperience you are. What better teacher than your own husband. Good Luck! :)
2007-02-14 03:22:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your still a virgin, first thing i have to say is congrats on lasting this long in this crappy world where to much emphasis is put on sex. you should pat yourself on the back for making it this long. now for the advice, you've made it this long as a virgin and need to wait till marriage to have intercourse. you should be upfront with the guy. the typical guy thinks about sex every three seconds, so if he knows he isn't gonna get any then it may keep him from pursuing it as much. if he starts trying to get in your pants in the future, you should just boot him to the curb and wait on that special someone who will take care of you through any circumstance.
2007-02-14 03:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by Matt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's appropriate to tell him right away. This is fair to both of you. He does not know your views on why you're waiting to have sex, and it's obvious that you know he's "quite experienced". I think that you should explain this and be upfront with him, this will help determine whether he's in it for the sex or if he's someone who can respect your decisions and you could quite possibly end up falling in love with him. Good luck.
2007-02-14 03:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by Girl, Empty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are saving yourself for a loving relationship!! I think the only guys who are going to be concerned with how much experience you have are going to be the type of boys/men you want to avoid. When should you tell your new boyfriend? That is a hard call to make.... we would need more details : how long have you been dating? Is is making suggestions for sex? Are you ready to move to that step? Etc etc.... Making love with someone is a big deal, make sure you are 100% ready to make that step. Good luck with your decisions.
2007-02-14 03:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by Leah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're with someone who has experience, then you can learn from them and they can teach you. I would suggest maybe buying a book about sex (basic sex and not a porn book). They have them at the book stores like Barnes & Noble, etc. And you should be honest if your relationship goes towards the sex thing. This guy may not want to be the one to "deflower" you.
2007-02-14 03:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't ever be ashamed of being a virgin because that is something to very proud of, i take my hat off to you and i wish i can say the same. the advantage that you have is that you can see guys who are experienced and see if they care about you or do just want to have sex but, becareful a lot guys will try to manipulate you and try to make you think that sex is not their only intention but the will try to take advantage of you because you are a virgin and go brag about to their friends and also guys love it you are untouched and pure no good man wants a loose woman you are tight and be proud of that
2007-02-14 03:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by tomi c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok when or if u tell this guy is when he is ,and u know for a fact the one to loose it to ,in that case why should he have to know untill that point ?**** if he plays his cards right ,then u can tell him ,and yeah guys love virgins because u are tight and you are less likely to have a disease.oh and great job on the virgin thing thats awesome oh and if he asks u say something like wouldent u like to know? or sorry i dont kiss and tell or just something that gives no definate answer but sexy enough to cover upfor the question.
2007-02-14 03:40:09 · answer #9 · answered by Whitney D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say hold your head high and be proud!
From my experience, boys & young men (and some older ones) want experienced girls only for their "experience" and how it will benefit them in the short run - and I do mean the short run. If they are looking for a serious, long term relationship, then experienced girls are probably not going to be their first choices.
2007-02-14 03:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋