What is a sensible age gap between siblings?

Question

My husband and I have two little boys aged 2 1/2 and 13 months, theres 18 months between them which is a little hectic!! I'm already really broody again - I was lucky enough to have really good pregnancies and uncomplicated labours!! How long in your opinion should we wait??????? Thanks x

Answer 1

Sarah,

You are the best one to answer your question. You need to decide on the comfort factors that you have.

Boys typicly take a little longer to learn toilet practices, so if you have a third now, you face the possibility of three in diapers at the same time.
On the other hand, the longer that you wait, the more comfortable your youngest will be in his position... and the harder it will be when the new baby comes.

At three or four years old, your oldest will be a bit of a help with the new baby - he will be able to be an extra set of eyes, and great at providing entertainment. Your younger son, though, may be a bit of a danger as his "helpfulness" can mean that the new baby is being lifted, tugged at, covered up, etc.

Between my first two, there are 2 years. Like you, I found this hectic. Now (as 7 and 9 year olds) they are great company for each other - so the pace was worth it.
My third was almost 5 years behind number 2, and while this made for great "help" and a much easier time with the baby (only one in diapers, eveyone else could walk and talk...) she isoften let out by her sisters.
Number four is going to be closer in age to number three, and I hope that this will help her feel less isolated... but in the end, it is what I do as a parent, and how my heart guides me that will let me know that I have made the right decisions.

You will make it work, no matter when it happens, because it is what you want and women are very intuitive beings.
Best of Luck!

Answer 2

By the time my 3rd daughter came along my eldest was 3 1/5 and the middle daughter was 1 1/5. it was very hectic and i ended up with a better figure because of all the running around i did than before i was married. The are 13, 11, and 10 now and really good friends, but i dont remember actually sitting down and enjoying time with them when they were little like i see my friends do now, my memory of them as babies is quite hazey as it was mostly work and not much fun. i cannot have anymore children now, and at 35yrs old do still get very broody, i would love another child now as i feel i have more paitence and the time to spend with a baby, think long and hard before you leap, as long as time is on your side there is no harm waiting a couple more years x

Answer 3

Everyone's answers are going to be different.... That's because there is no perfect time, it all depends on the individual, finances, your career, how you wish to raise your children (nurseries, stay at home)

For uncomplicated pregnancies I've heard waiting 5 years was the best... but you have proved that to be incorrect..

I personally only want two children so I would have 2-3 year gap between them.

Make the decision based on what you and your partner feel is the best.

Answer 4

I have heard that 2 1/2 years is the minimum for optimum sibling harmony.
However, given all the variables (ability to get pregnant, differences in temperment even among sibs, not being able to control boy/girl outcome, etc.) it's sort of tough...
Also, as a mom, I can only say that selfishly, I liked having them all in diapers, all in carseats, all in small clothes, watching similar videos, playing with similar toys around the same time. However, when it comes time to date or drive, I'm certain I'll wish for a bigger gap! 2 1/2 years seems about right!

Answer 5

Let's see. We have a 22 month space with the first two and then 9 years for the next.

I think 22 months is too short, 9 years too long. Anything in between would be about right! LOL

Answer 6

Snap! I have 2 girls the same age as yours and i agree life is hectic! You're brave wanting three, must be very maternal! Personally, i think a small gap is best - they grow up together plus you are still in the routine of sleepless nights etc

I have 10 years between my sister and i and when we were younger we used to fight like cat and dog!

Answer 7

It depends on what you can confortable manage. Some parents are happy to have three under 5 years while others cope better with larger gaps.
In my experience the ones closest in age are not always as close friends as parents would like them to be, a common reason people give for having children close together.

Answer 8

Its a personal choice really and it depends on how a new baby would fit into your current lifestyle, I had twins first then had another little one 5 yrs later, it was quite a gap but it worked for us but I feel that at least a couple of years between each child is nice so that you can enjoy their baby days

Answer 9

Normally I would say 3 years is the best age difference between siblings, but since you're already managing, however stressed, you might as well keep it going! It'll surely be trying but it will pay off later when your children are close friends and you have your own life back faster!

Answer 10

it all depends on the individual the one thing u have gotta ask yourself is could i cope with another baby with the way ur situation is at the moment. i have 6 children there age gaps vary from 2 years to 4 years plus im pregnant again my youngest is 6 months old and i am 5 months pregnant.