Her mom is a drug addict and has been to the nut house, so she is completely unpredictable and emotionally unstable. Her father was emotionally abusive to her and beat her down mentally to the point she sounded like she was gonna attempt suicide. She wants to get emancipated, but is afraid to tell anyone what is going on. She needs help badly and because she has been taught to keep her emotions pinned up inside she doesn't know how to express whats going on. she just says everything is fine and she can handle it till she graduates. Yet every time she sneaks a call to me, she weeps because she wants out of there so badly. She wanted out so badly that she ran away twice, so now I'm not allowed to see her because they think i am responsible for her running away. It sucks so badly because this is our first V-day and we cant be together, and I'm afraid of what she may be going through. Please advise, and if your a lawyer or know one personally tell me what i can/should do legally. thanks.
2007-02-14 02:01:14 · 5 answers · asked by Matt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Maybe you can see if your parents can house her or you can sneak her. good luck!
2007-02-14 02:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by SARAH D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you call her your fiance and she is only 17yrs old.She is not even old enough legally to do anything on her own let alone get married.Marriage is a very serious commitment one that is taken way to lightly these day's and that is why there is so much divorce in this world and babies having babies.Your so called fiance need's to concentrate on getting her education and then getting a stable job and eventually learning how to support herself.It is unfortunate that her parents are drug addicts and abusive and if that is the case she should be talking to her school counsler and reporting the situation if she want's to be an adult so bad she need's to start taking responsibility and take the steps to acting like one.I hope you realize that marriage is not the answer and I also wonder how old you are..Also in answer your question about her being emancipated the first thing that the judge will look at his how she can support herself he will look at if she has a job and for how long she has had it and what kind of income she has.In order to be emancipated she has to prove that she can support herself.She also has to have had a stable job for a minumum of one year.I am a Guardian Ad Litem and I work with children in these situations everyday.Feel free to e-mail or IM me and I can give you more information and advice..Emancipation usually takes a minimum of a year to achieve and more than likely she will be 18yrs old by then..As I suggest she should be getting her education right now and finding stable employment.Good Luck to her..
2007-02-14 10:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... this is just what i think of it.
1. your fiance is really lucky she has you (someone who understands what she is going through and what seem like a stable force) but she (and you) have to learn that you can't be there for her ALL of the time... she needs to develop support from other avenues, such as friends, teachers, councelors, and maybe other family members besides her parents.
2. she needs to get out of her home. it sounds like a terrible situation and there ARE resources for her. it is very important that she talk to a school councilor/ teacher/ anyone familar with child protection laws in your state. if she won't do this, it needs to happen anyway... the responsiblity falls partially to you, I'm afraid.
3. it sounds like she is going through repression and denial. these are common reactions when something horrible is happening in our lives... this is fine for the moment but it is VERY imortant that she learn to work through those deffences and become a mentally healthy adult. overcoming her past will help her the most in not repeating her parent's mistakes and it will help her relationship with you.
4. you have to find a balance between your own emotional well being and hers. it is VERY understandable that you are sad because of missing V day with her, but you must be careful not to inadvertedly make her feel guilty. the most important thing she needs to be worring about is getting throught her situation, not that a stable force in her life is starting to become unstable.
6. make sure you guys are taking it slowly. 17 is young to be engaged, even under the most stable conditions. it is understandable that you would need to be engaged (so as to have a concrete tie to one and other, especially because she has known so much unstablility in her life)
5. this is not something either of you can deal with on your own...i think the best advice i can give you is to reach out to people that can help. start with your parents, teachers, councilors, etc.
2007-02-14 10:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Julia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really believe there is a problem in the home than call social services. You don't have to say who you are, and if they find your allocations to be true than you just helped her out.
2007-02-14 10:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by russell c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents about the situation and they can call CPS. They will help your girlfriend.
2007-02-14 10:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋