i am in a long distacee relationship, my boyfriend just called me to say his ex is staying with him all next week, as she is on a course in his town and called and asked for his hospitality. he has been honest with me to say she is there, but i really wish she wasnt coming. i have never ever met her or heard about her before. i feel he should have told her no, my mates think its fine and i am worrying for nothing.
2007-02-14 01:39:15 · 24 answers · asked by ravey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's done the right thing by telling you about her staying, so why don't you do the right thing and trust him?
2007-02-14 01:42:20 · answer #1 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can sort of see your point, however you have to have a bit of trust there! If he is being honest and telling you, then fair play, you cant control who he sees and why, just as he can not you. Better he tells you these things and feels he can talk to you, than not tell you about it and hide it. I understand you being uncormfortable as it is an Ex, but hey thats exactly what they are an Ex! You are the current G/F and he clearly is showing his commitment to you by telling you and being honest! If you feel bad may be talk and say you feel a little uncomfortable about the situation and get some reassurance.
I am sure things will be fine, dont worry!
2007-02-14 10:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your feelings for him. Do you totally trust him? Or her for that matter? My guy's ex came on to him knowing he and i were engaged, he told me about it and i was so angry that he had put himself in the position where she had the opportunity to (they were alone together, she had been drinking, he knows her well enough to know she would try it). I wouldnt just be worried, i would damn well tell him it's not ok and ask him how he would feel if it were you having and ex over for the week whilst he is miles away. Wouldn't call it jealous, would call it sensible, if they are ex's then they obviously had feelings for each other once upon a time, being alone together might take them back in time. (sorry i'm a cow and wont share my guy with anyone, why should i? He can have as many friends as he wants male and female but ex's are dangerous and he should steer clear if he loves you)
2007-02-14 09:50:39 · answer #3 · answered by stacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have absolutely every right to be upset about that. You don't say how long you have been together or alot about the circumstances of the relationship but whatever these may be it is still out of order. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your ex was staying with you for a week.
He has not even told you the circumstances of the split or anything about her. I honestly think this is totally out of order. How can this be fine?
He is not thinking about your feelings at all.
I'd tell him where to go..............................Sorry!!!
You can do better :)
2007-02-14 09:55:36 · answer #4 · answered by Lolly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship with his ex is too close for comfort. Especially if they were intimate in the past, they may do something again. He wouldn't like it if one of your ex's strolled into town and stayed at your house. She could have picked a Motel 6 or something instead of intruding. I think the fact that he opened his home to her so quickly shows he still has feelings for her. It would really make me question whether I want to waste time with a guy who is still friends with his ex.
2007-02-14 09:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by Martini Babee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend has been upfront with you and told you the situation I dont think you can really have a go at him for that - he could of lied and you would never of known any different. But he's been totally honest.
If I were you - tell him your not sure if your comfortable with her staying, you know he is not interested but you wonder why she rung him and not someone else. Tell him you appreciate his honesty and trust him with your whole heart but you felt you had to tell him you weren't sure about the sitation...considering he was honest with you - you need to be honest with him too.
2007-02-14 10:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are worrying over nothing. In my experience, if he still fancied her there is no way he would let her stay there for a week. I can understand that you would feel uncomfortable but try not to let your insecurity get in the way of a good relationship, if that's what it is. You could always try to be honest with your man and tell him how you feel, but in a calm and honest way, giving him time to respond. Good luck, I'm sure it will be fine.
2007-02-14 09:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Emiley B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't like that either even though he was honest with you and told you. There is nothing you can do about it. Wait and see if he calls you during that week and check out his attitude toward you then. You can usually tell by his voice if he's guilty of something.
2007-02-14 09:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no, i think that is completely out of order, i do believe that ex's can have a completely normal friends relationship but do still think its an unfair request from him and her. I could not help but wonder what they are upto and i think it shows he has little respect for you expecting to tolerate this, what would he think if it was other way round
2007-02-14 09:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't really think you are jealous i think you are curious of what might happen. its funny how he doesn't tell her that he is in a relationship and that she would be better to stay some where else. maybe he is just doing it to be friendly though and you will have to trust him. his relation ship with her was probably way other ages ago and now they are just friends.
2007-02-14 09:45:50 · answer #10 · answered by lou lou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust and honesty is the key to making a relationship work. he's done the honesty bit now all he needs is the trust. think about it would he trust you if you had an ex stay for a week...
2007-02-14 09:46:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋