Ive been having relationship problems with my girl of 9 years...everytime I say,"maybe we should break up." She says, "if that's what you want.." I'll say, maybe it's not working out, and she'll say, "if that's what you want.." and then I will say, "Well if we break up, that's it, we're never getting together again" and she'll say, "What did I do to be dumped?" and I'll say, "I just have trust issues and think you may be cheating.." And she'll say, "Think and do what you want.." Keep in mind I've confronted her and talked to her about many, many times. She's like, "Don't talk to me about this right now, "I feel sick and tired"
So last night, I am like, "Ok, we need a break.." And she says, "I wasn't going to cry while you were here, I was going to cry when you left.." She says it with a smile. We worked things out, I guess. However I left at about 12 am, didn't feel right, since she fell asleep. She calls at 1 am. I tried calling her back, no answer.
Confused on what to d
2007-02-14 00:53:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You guys have some communication issues. You need to really sit down with her and talk things over. Its no fun wondering if she is cheating, if you guys should be together. Just be honest with each other so you can stop wasting each others time. Don't accuse her of anything or put her down, just ask the right questions so you guys can figure things out. Thing to tell her and ask her:
We have to be honest with each other if we want to make this work.
Are you seeing anyone else?
Do you want to stay together?
Are there things she has done that makes you think she is cheating?
Telling her you think you guys should break up, and telling her you think she is cheating doesn't give her any options. If my b/f said that to me, I'd be like "fine, if you think we need a break and you think I'm cheating, then see ya later", even though I of course don't want to break up, because I am not cheating.
2007-02-14 01:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let this women go your going to have these head games, as long as your together. She's just taking you for a ride. she doesn't love you(she may love you, but she's not in love with you.)Something over the last 9 yrs has got you guys where your at to day. If there's any hope for the relationship you guys must sit down and talk about it. COMMUNICATION.
2007-02-14 09:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by russell c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants you she doesn't want you. She is afraid of confronting you with serious discussion.
You should sit down and discuss your relatinship and try to see what is missing now? That is probably the real cause of your staate of affairs.
If she keeps on avoiding it, then try to have a brake for a while and I am convinced when she see this she will wake up from her slumber and either change or have a serious discussion with you.
All the best!/
2007-02-14 09:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way you are talking about on how she answered then you need to leave her because obviously she doesn't care and you don't have time for this . You have been with her for nine years and trust is a big issue so if thats what you feel in heart then leave and don't feel down on yourself because she is the one that acts like she don't care. Good Luck!!!
2007-02-14 09:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by Cherri09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, dont accuse her of cheating unless you ae 100% sure that it is true. Ok This has heppend with my and my ex When he would say lets break up and i would say whatever if thats what you want, it means I DONT WANT TO BREAK UP! After 9 years you should already know her enough to figure this out, if you rnot happy then end it, think of what you want because she obviously is undecided.
2007-02-14 09:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her responses to your suggestions of breaking up seem like a cover for showing her true feelings "see if i care" kind of (immature) thing. she doesn't want to be seen as begging or pleading for you to stay. most likely her own insecurities, not wanting to look hurt.
you seem pretty set on ending things, so i'd go by that feeling if i were you. i think you are mainly stuck on wanting some kind of confirmation on her true feelings. don't think you'll get it!
forget her, she sounds very immature and if she's not willing to talk openly about things that concern you about the relationship, then i don't see much hope for it. she needs to grow up.
good luck.
2007-02-14 09:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously doesn't want you to break it off. I too agree that she's avoiding the topic! Why do you keep wanting to break up? if you have trust issues then solve them, running away isn't the best option!
2007-02-14 08:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Trisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants out but is too cowardly to say the words,so she's trying to manipulate you into being the 'dumper'.That way her conscience gets off scot free.Either way,you are on a hiding to nothing.End it now to save yourself any further heartache.
2007-02-14 09:02:41 · answer #8 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is getting some action on the side. I'd dump her and find a younger woman.
2007-02-14 08:58:21 · answer #9 · answered by angrysandwichguy_2007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't keep pressuring her on whether she's cheating on you or not. you've got to trust her.you keep on putting pressure on her and this makes her become bored of your threats of breaking up. trust is important in a relationship, and especially when you've been with this girl for 9 years. it's difficult to keep things up but you have got to trust your girl.
2007-02-14 09:08:37 · answer #10 · answered by Soaring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋