She doesn't know when to let things go. She still blames me for the time she broke her arm when she was eight because I was the one who gave her the roller skates. When my sister died (in December) she said "Well, didn't you want to be an only child"!!! She has gotten on my last nerve... but I am basically her only friend and she is homeschooled and NEVER gets out of the house to hang out with teens her age. What should I do???
2007-02-14 00:31:39 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She shouldn't have said that when my sister died. My sister was 16! My patience is at an end.
2007-02-14 00:35:31 · update #1
You're a saint for hanging in there and caring for her enough to understand that she's not "wicked, mean & evil, bad & nasty" but only socially retarded. Is there any chance that you can tell her mother (in private) what she said about your sister? Perhaps she will see that her daughter needs some practice in socializing? Home schooling doesn't mean always at home. Groups of families plan activities and "field trips" just so their kids get socialization. Maybe she's too old for this stuff. Maybe her mother doesn't believe in it, but surely she will see that her daughter's remark about your sister was totally inappropriate and needs to be addressed.
Her mother could be the problem. You might have to tell your friend that she was totally out of line with that remark. Go to the library and check out a teen copy of etiquette for her (or buy one)
You're a terrific kid for your compassion. Right now you need compassion, too, and need time to focus on healing within your family and self. Don't lose awareness of working through the stages of grief that you must work through to maintain your own emotional health. It's this health that's enabled you to help your friend up til now without her disability hurting you badly.
You don't have that protective shield at the moment. Don't abandon your friend, but pull back for awhile - and tell her why - it will hurt her feelings less that way, and give her some insight into herself that she needs.
2007-02-14 01:11:53 · answer #1 · answered by Casperia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, sounds pretty harsh.
You could join clubs with her that would expose her to more friends/kids your age and give her an outlet to make some new friends, but also understand how people relate to one another.
You could also back off on the friendship, or suggest some counselling, but Im not sure how that would go over.
2007-02-14 00:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by stellabella 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may seem harsh to some but you really need to put yourself first. A friend like this is more harmful than good for you and why should you have to sacrifice yourself for such a bad friend. Her comments are way out of line and you're a bigger person for not responding in a much different way. I know I would have.
2007-02-14 00:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by NYGirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Damn, if she said that to me I'd break her other arm!
I'm tired of people taking this kind of abuse just because they feel 'obligated' for some reason. I have a few friends who are going through the same thing(not with, hehe). The only way people this sheltered are going to learn is to lose you, their only friend, because of there ignorance and insensitivity.
2007-02-14 00:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by ottomated420 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for her. It's tough being a social klutz - I know, I was one, too. She has probably never had anyone explain to her that the things she says and does are hurtful. I think you should gently explain to her the ramifications of her actions. If she still doesn't get it, you may have to drop her, but I'd at least try to help out first. Keeping silent won't do either of you any good.
2007-02-14 00:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Take her out and teach her! Tell your other friends that you have this friend who needs to be socialized and just ignore any comments that may be unappropriate. I'm sure in time she will learn the ways of the social world. Just be patient and be a real friend to her. She needs you. I know it's hard not to take her personal but that won't help her out.
2007-02-14 00:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Home schooled people usually fall behind in social development. So you need to take responsibility and make a choice. Either choose to stay with your friend and stop complaining about it or make some new friends and meet people who are positive effects on your life. Remember loyalty is earned and not to be given away.
2007-02-14 00:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Laughing Man Copycat 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be gracious, but tell her how you feel. Don't attack her, just let her know what her comments do to you, and (hopefully) work out a way where the two of you can learn to better communicate with each other. She may be trying to say other things, and just doesn't know how.
Good friends are precious.
2007-02-14 00:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by Amish Rebel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Eliminate Social Anxiety Shyness : http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?sWBE
2016-06-21 19:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's your answer right there. Children that are home schooled don't have the social knowledge and experience that a schooled child would have. That doesn't sound like a friend to me. Put her in her place if you don't like it. If she changes than she truly is your friend, but if she comes off hostile, then walk away. Obviously her parents don't teach her common courtesies. Remember we live what we learn.
2007-02-14 00:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋