Thirteen is just about time she starts to wear bras, but i think you shouldn't buy her any. She will figure out how to buy, and when to buy, by seeing from her friends. She sure speaks these subjects with her friends. It's the same about her periods.
If she asks you about these things, then she's willing to talk and share and you may give some advise. But you shouldn't be the one to start the conversation, she may feel shy again.
Does she have an aunt or so? Maybe you can ask her to help your daughter about these.
Hope you get through it in the best possible way.
2007-02-13 23:59:29
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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O dad I wish you well with this and really you are a wonderful father for thinking of it so sensitively.
As far as her period, you might want to ask her how much she knows about her body right now. Most 13 year olds these days have had some sort of sex/health ed and know what to expect, but if she hasn't had a female ADULT confidant, she may be alittle confused and scared. Not to worry though. Ask her if she would prefer to talk to you or some trusted woman you know (aunt, grandmother etc). If she wants to talk to you - then take a breath and tell her - but first read up on it. She will eventually need a woman's perspective however, because quite frankly - there's just stuff a man won't know how to describe.
As for the bras. If she is developing now, now is the time to get them. Take her to the mall - give her $50.00 or so and send her to a place like LaSenza. Speak to a sales girl / woman FIRST to let her know you are coming so that your daughter can be comfortable knowing that someone will help her. THe sales woman will explain to your daughter how to get a good fit for a bra and will help her choose 2 or 3. Sports bra, strapless for T's, dress bra etc. There are all kinds.
Be prepared dad - being a girl can be expensive but you don't have to overdo it. Department stores are reasonably priced, but she will have to know what size and fit is good for her. She will also have to experiment with various menstrual products to know what works for her.
Blessings to you. I hope it works out.
2007-02-14 07:58:08
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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I would suggest you go ahead and get her bras whether she needs them or not. At that age, gym class might be embarrassing for her if she's the only one changing without wearing a bra. I would enlist the help of an aunt, grandmother, or other close female friend. She's not likely to want to shop with you - no offense! If that isn't feasible, you might try ordering online, though I'd get several sizes to be sure.
Daughters often start periods at the same time their mothers did. If you're really worried about embarrassing you or her, I would suggest writing a letter. Tell her what you want her to know, and offer a non-embarrassing solution for her to let you know she needs new pads or tampons. I would purchase a box of pads and leave in her bathroom, because chances are good that she could start soon. You wouldn't even have to mention it to her - she'll see them, and most likely appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Kudos to you for being so sensitive to her needs!
2007-02-14 08:09:25
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answer #3
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answered by Amanda M 4
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Does she have a best friend (a girl)? Do you know her best friend's parents? If you feel shy to talk to her about those things yourself, you can try to talk to her best friend's mom and see if she can do that job for you. She probably has already explained everything to her daughter and chances are your daugther already knows all of that stuff anyway. But it is good for you to know what she knows.
Getting a bra is not so much a breast size thing but if everybody else wears. If all her friends have bra, she should have too. I remember being 10 and no breasts at all when I refused to take off my T-shirt on the beach just because I didn't have the top part of my swimming suit. So go ahead and do something soon. Children develop fast these days.
Contratulations for being a caring father!
2007-02-14 08:01:41
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answer #4
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answered by petyado 4
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I have a 12 yr old who has been wearing a bra for 3 years. It depends on if you or she thinks she needs them. I understand that a relationship between dad + daughter is a little different than mom+ daughter but you have to have an open mind and an open line of communication with her. Just talk to her about it. OR get an aunt or older cousin to help you out. Unless she has an income, she's gonna have to let you know when she needs things. Reassure her that it's not an embarrassing thing and that you are always there for her no matter what.
2007-02-14 09:34:26
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answer #5
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answered by kileigh1076 2
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Hi single father, help has arrived. You need to buy your daughter bras now. Take her to the store and let her pick out something she likes. Talk to the sales person, tell them that you really dont know that much about bras. Talk to your daughter about her period. Sit down with her and tell her, that you really wont know until she tells you because your body doesn't go through what her body does. But tell her you are there for her, that you would like to know when and if she has, that it's nothing to be ashamed of; it's normal. I hope that helps, Megan
2007-02-14 08:55:42
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answer #6
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answered by grumpybear19802001 1
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I have to say you are a wonderful man~
Are you close with your daughter? I noticed you said that you believe she will be shy. My daughters will talk to my husband about these things. Of course you know, start talking to her about life, school, and try to get her to open up to you.. Just because you are a man, to me means diddly squat, you can have the same relationship as a mother can and talk about personal things. As you know a daughter needs the advise of her father to help/guide her through the boy subject, birds & bees, etc.. Just tell her you want to be there for her, not to be uncomfortable.
If she is starting to show/develope she needs bras. My daugther is 11 and she is showing. About 4-6 months after breast developes she will soon be having her periods. This is a good time to sit down with her and talk about it. It can be frightening, exciting, and confusing to her during this time and she will hear bits and pieces from her friends yet always wondering about it all. As you know, when she gets older she needs to feel she can come to you with boy issues. Some, not all, if Father is not close to daugther, will become sexually active to find and search for that empty space of acceptance, etc.. to take the place of the Fathers attentiveness. You don't want that!
If you do feel uncomfortable yourself and can't see to address her on these issues go to your Mom, Aunt, etc.. but please be present to show your daughter that you are interested in her well being and you are there for support.
Again, Its gratifying to see you take part of your daughers life.
2007-02-14 09:02:01
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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I would agree to have a trusted femal relative or friend take her for bra shopping. She is probably old enough to at least have a starter bra even if she isn't developed much yet.
Regarding her periods - she probably won't want to tell you. Buy a small assortment of feminine products and stock them in the bathroom and just check every month or so and see when they start getting used. Then you can restock them for her (or have that trusted female do so) and she won't need to ask for them each month (that's the embarassing part...to remind you parent to shop for them).
2007-02-14 08:07:20
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answer #8
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answered by bgmom 3
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Not to advocate for school doing our jobs as parents, but usually around 5th grade the schools show girls a video or have a talk with them about puberty. Maybe you should buy some maxi pads and put them under the bathroom sink for her so she won't need to embarrass herself when the day comes. As far as bras go, it depends on her. She might do just fine picking stuff out for herself at Wally World, or you may want to take her to someplace more upscale (Penny's?) and have a saleslady take measurements so she will know what size to get. (These measurements will change throughout the year for several years.)
2007-02-14 07:56:11
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answer #9
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answered by Monica 3
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As for the bra, as soon as her breasts start to show a bit, she'll need a bra... but the previous poster is right.. she does NOT want to go bra shopping with her father. As a female relative who's "cool".. or one of her friends' mothers if she can handle that one for you. Seriously.
With regard to her period... as awkward as it will be, it's CRITICAL that you talk to her about it. She will be SO mortified... and she will probably not be able to look you in the eye for days afterward... but treat it matter-of-factly and without stammering and you will be opening the door to future conversations about her period and other health issues, about her relationships, and about life. If you can't bring yourself to talk about something that is a normal part of female life with her... then you will be missing all those opportunities in the future.
2007-02-15 01:16:19
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answer #10
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answered by Amy S 6
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