So, I was divorced in November, he broke up with his gf in November too. We just caught up with each other in mid-January, and started a friends-with-benefits thing again. We have been f.w.b. before, almost 6 years ago. It works really well for us; we are completely incompatible to date, and really good in bed together, and both know it and agree with it. He got back with his gf on Friday, so we stopped sleeping together. She dumped him on Sunday, (said she didn't think it through and is in love with her new bf) which completely devastated him. He really cares about her and she moved in, so it was shocking for him. She moved out Sunday too. (in and out in 2 days) Now he's sad, and feels a lot of emotional turmoil over it. We are still hanging out as friends but he isn't ready to start sleeping together again. I really want to, what can I do to help him heal faster without pushing him? We discussed it and he said he should be ready soon. I'm 31 weeks pregnant, so there's a time issue.
2007-02-13 23:44:58 · 10 answers · asked by all_the_answers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Doctor's actually encourage sex during pregnancy, all the way up to the end. We also had std checks before we started.
2007-02-13 23:51:23 · update #1
Don't want to marry him at all, or date. We both agree that we are not right for each other, just great in bed together.
The dad is my now ex-husband. I got pregnant on the honeymoon and he left me one month after the wedding for another girl; was a big mess. We had been together 5 years.
2007-02-13 23:53:24 · update #2
People, please read fully. I'm not looking to marry this guy or have him raise my kid. I just want to start having sex again. I went 7 months without sex, I'm enjoying it again.
2007-02-13 23:55:25 · update #3
I'm not in love with him. Please read fully,
2007-02-14 00:23:51 · update #4
Honestly and harshness is my middle name at times, so sorry if this is not what you want to hear.
If you ever want him to be a friend with benefits again, maybe you need to step back abit and look at how selfish your being in this friendship.
I understand you don't want a relationship. I understand your not in this for love. I understand you're hormones are haywire and maybe your horny and maybe your even needing some sexual compliment to your self esteem as your pregnancy advances... and maybe just to have someone for comfort which is nice when there is no strings.
But I guess the confusion from everyone that has replied is that there are some obvious strings that can been seen beneath the surface.
Like his relationship has just taken a nose dive... and he cared about her or he wouldn't have taken her back. Like he cares about you in a way too as he has been your supportive freind. Like you have a child on the way who has a father out there somewhere.
You titled this "Friend with benefits" maybe you need to have a think about whats more important... Your friend or the benefit.
If its your friend then be supportive of his honesty and give him time. If he needs time he needs time. He will not heal faster with anything but your support and understanding for his needs.
The same support he has had for you it seems by your story...
Otherwise, if its the beneifit you really should, get a booty call from else where. Until he says sooner has arrived.
2007-02-14 00:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't push him. Patience will bring you the best results. And mentioning the time issue won't.
However, use this time for your benefit as well and think about where this "friends with benefits" thing is going and what you really want. Because you are obviously in love with this man (regardless of the fact whether he is or is not the father of your child).
It must be quite messy in your head now. Good luck clearing it up!
2007-02-14 00:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by orchidea 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow. the gfs seems to be using the guy. is the guy the father of ur kid? the guy shouldn't just get back w/ his ex, and break up after 2 days and let her move in and out in 2 days. u could always comfort him and go out and get ice cream.
Hope it works well for you.
Happy V day
2007-02-13 23:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is he the father?? Don't pressure him, just leave him alone to get over it, if you put the pressure on he will run a mile. It's not fair on him. Are you hoping to marry him for your child's sake??
2007-02-13 23:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm, you're right, it does sound stupid. He's a **** buddy, not a prospective husband. Go have your baby and look around for a husband later.
2007-02-13 23:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like dummies with benefits to me! I do friends with benefits and there are too many emotions tied to your thing. He has emotional ties to someone else AND your pregnant. Geesh!!!
2007-02-13 23:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say...if he doesn't speed up the process of not wanting to be physical....which I don't buy.....then find another guy.....it's not hard...guys are always crawling at the feet
2007-02-13 23:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. confusing
2007-02-13 23:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe, being as your pregnant. you shouldnt be haveing sex? just my two cents
2007-02-13 23:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by Learning To Fly (again) 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ugh, what a mess!
2007-02-13 23:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋