please i really need some advice , when i was younger i was sexually abused by my dad and although my mum had an idea it was going on and never reported him for it anyway the B*****D emigrated to new zealand when i was 10/11 he onced phoned me when i was 17 and said a leopard can change it's spots and that he is a changed man and i had not so nice words to say to him .. anyway 2 days ago i got a phonecall from my sister to say that she is going to move over to nz with my 2 nieces who are 10 and 12 to be near him even though she knows what he did to me i need to know if anyone knows any way i can stop her taking them she is not with their dad so i cant contact him they spit up when the girls were babies .. i have told her she is sick in the head but she said she wouldnt allow it to happen to her girls like mum did to me
2007-02-13 23:43:50 · 18 answers · asked by margaret 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sheadmitted she knew what my dad had done but says it happened when i was 1 and he is a changed man (yeah right) it was happening from when i was 6 and stopped when he and my mum split when i was 9 . i cant speak to other family members as none of them know about it i don't speak to my mum as we fell out over a year ago after i had some councilling and it brought back all the bad memories and i had a go at her
2007-02-14 00:01:19 · update #1
found out from speaking to my step brother that she tookmy nieces to new zealand last year after telling me that they were going to dominican republic with her in laws i am fuming with her tried to phone her but she won't answer my calls i really feel like going to her house and knocking some sense into her.. and i cannot understand why she wants anything to do with him as he used to beat us black and blue when he lived with us for no reason but never laid a finger on my brother
2007-02-16 00:22:46 · update #2
Nothing you can do I'm afraid! Sorry to be blunt - but there is absolutely nothing you can do!
2007-02-13 23:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by jamand 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Report him to the police
2) Contact Social Services and tell them of your concerns
3) Find the kids father and tell him
Don't feel bad about contacting Social Services you have to think about the welfare of those children, I'm sure you would have wanted someone to do the same for you when you were little. A leopard never changes it spots I'm afraid. Best of luck to you and well done for getting involved in something that must be extremely painful for you xxx
2007-02-17 14:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by Dimples 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is their mother and has a responsibility to her children, she needs a few harsh words, what kind of mother would put her children in the presence of a man she knows is capable of molesting his own daughter!!!, whether she thinks she can protect them or not, it only takes that one time that she leaves the children alone with him.
The only way you can stop this is by reporting him to the police it doesnt matter how long a go it was he should be punished and should not be allowed to enjoy his family.
I cant believe your sister can still bear him it is total disrespect for your feelings
If something does happen it is on her head its not as if she hasnt been warned, but I dont know how her daughters will feel about it if they did get molested by him and then found out that she knew he could do this and still put them in that situation.
2007-02-14 07:53:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the only thing i can think of is if you go to their father and explain the situation as she cannot take them out of the country without his permission she cannot even get a passport for them unless he signs the form and if she does it behind his back she can be held legally responsible so this i would say is your only route.
The only thing about this is your sister will probably end up hating you for it. can i ask where your mam is and what she thinks of the idea?? i dont get why a woman knowing this happened her child would not want to chop his balls off let alone not want to report him and as for your sister well shes just off her rocker even if there was a chance he could do it even if it was a million to one chance i could NEVER take that chance with my children.
Good luck and i hope it works out and just try everything you possibly can x
2007-02-14 08:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but, there's nothing you can do. Leopards that abuse children rarely change their spots. Your sister is aware of the problem so I'm sure she won't let your dad be alone with the girls. Try not to worry so much. Your sister loves your dad, but I'm sure she's not an idiot.
2007-02-14 17:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by 2dog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats a hard one the only way to keep him away from them little girls is to report him it dosent matter when it happened abuse is abuse it might bring up some painfull memories your family may even stop talken to but imagine how you would feel if what happened to you happened to them they will be on ther own with no one in a new country and you know yourself it is doutfull
they would tell ther mum anything was happening go to the police maybythis will shake up your sister to relise what a monster this man really is good luck
2007-02-14 07:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is something you can do..... you can report your case to social services and announce your sisters plans. Or your councillor could arrange this as they have to tell authorities if any other child is in danger/or contact with this man.
You are right to worry ref this... it is not a button that can be switched off in his head.
Im so sorry to hear of the lack of support you have had from your family....be strong girl, my thoughts are with you x
2007-02-14 16:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is abuse, regardless of when it happened. I can not believe a mother could put her own childen at risk.
I would suggest you go to the social work department and speak to a social worker amd tell them how scared you are. I'm sure they will be able to advise you on what you can do.
2007-02-14 09:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by thepurestone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since she knows about what happened to you and is still wanting to move there to be close to him, there is nothing you can do to stop her.
You might be able to get the father of her children to fight her on taking the children out of the country, he may be your only hope.
Good Luck.
2007-02-14 07:51:03 · answer #9 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your nieces can ALWAYS get in contact with YOU.
Make sure they know they can tell you ANYTHING.
Make sure YOU know what to do if they tell you your father is abusing them.
Get yourself some help this is stirring up so many memories for you that are painful.
2007-02-15 04:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Haydn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid there isn't much you can do except for be there for your sister, this will be a scary time for her and i think you should be helping her and not worrying her even more. just keep a close eye on her and let her know you will always be just a phone call away. xxx
2007-02-14 07:49:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋