My husbands sister who was only 29-year-old died of cancer last year.They really close to each other.. best friends.He is really sensitive about,and avoids talking about her.If any other members of his family are having a chat about her,remembering her in a funny moments..he just leaves the room.I know its hard..wanna help him..tried to talk about it ..but absolutely no results.
2007-02-13 23:05:44 · 34 answers · asked by lanicolette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband needs to start talking about this as bottling it up will not help. He is obviously very sensitive about the whole issue but you cannot be expected to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life. Maybe trying to seek advice on what you can do from your local GP might help. There are also lots of bereavement helplines you can call that may be able to give you tips before you end up resenting the whole situation and him for loving her. When my aunt died, 8 yrs ago now, Christ how time goes by, my mum refused to talk about it and sought answers elsewhere, like a can of beer and this is not the way to go. If he can start talking about her then great because then it will get easier to talk about her as time goes on. Don't push for information from him, even when he only gives a little because he will just bottle it up again. Good luck. x
2007-02-13 23:14:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh! this is a difficult one - it's a man thing - I know!
Don't pressure him to talk about it - even though he is having trouble letting go of the sister he obviously loved - when you see he is down - just pop your arms around him and give him a kiss and say 'I know - when you're ready to talk I'm here' - He will talk when he is ready and when he does it will be a flood of over whelming emotions all let loose at once. He will break down in tears, be angry all at once - just be there!
Losing a close loved one is all consuming to some people and it takes a long time to get over it! Just offer him comfort and support!
2007-02-13 23:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by jamand 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well people deal with greif in their own way. I understand you want to help him, but you cant do much more than simply be there for him as a shoulder to cry on should he need one.
He will deal with it in his own time - just let him know if he ever wants to talk to you about it, you are there.
I also believe talking it through helps grief and closing off (as your husband seems to be doing) doesnt do any good - but I deal with things by talking about them - thats just my own way of dealing... for your hubby, shutting off might be the right thing for him to do right now. You just have to give him time and wait until he is ready to talk - and there is the possibility he may never want to talk about it...... Giving him the option of having you to talk to is all you can do for him for now xx
Greif is a funny thing, and I am not sure if there is a right or wrong way to deal with it - people deal the best they can the ways they know how - you just have to take your cue from him :)
2007-02-13 23:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by xxangel_allyssaxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he dosen't want to talk about it don't try and make him. He is still grieving. And just as soon as he stps grieving he will become more open. Just be there for him when he does decide to talk. Getting over a death sometimes becomes a long process. If you believe in God and the power of prayer just PUSH! Pray until something happens
2007-02-14 00:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by christyle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner lost his brother to cancer and they were extremely close - it was quite a while ago now but I can remember him saying that he hated people wanting to talk about him all the time - he will talk to you when he is ready - just let him know that you are there for him and leave it at that - he will eventually talk to you but when he feels the time is right
2007-02-13 23:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to find himself comfortable about his sister passing to be able to talk about her he may feel that when other are talking about her that he will not be able to keep his emotions as well as the rest of the family do it's only been a year and it may be too soon.I lost my baby almost 2 years ago and i can't talk about him to any one we need time to grieve and some people take longer than others ,when he needs to talk he knows you are there for him just keep asking him if he needs too talk.
2007-02-13 23:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Mea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to watch someone we love in so much pain but there is really nothing you can do. If he cant talk about it you need to just support him on that I'm sure he knows if he needs to talk you are there to listen and when he is ready he will come to you
2007-02-13 23:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time and space on this ..some people take longer to over come the loss of a loved one (you never really get over this totally ) I lost my parents (same day due to a drunk driver) and it took me a while before I could talk or listen to others talk about them ..please just be let him be for now when he wants to talk he will
2007-02-13 23:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its better just to leave him alone with his own memories, he is still trying to adjust his life without her,its very hard for some people to lose someone they love especially a close family member.When he wants to talk about her he will just don't push him.
2007-02-13 23:10:12 · answer #9 · answered by Denny O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men deal with things very differently to women. I'm DREADING my MIL passing on (with all due respect! It's a long, long way off but as an example:) as there will basically be nothing I can do for my boyfriend - except pray for him, support him, encourage him and be there for him. Spoil him a bit more than you usually do....I guess that's all you can do!
2007-02-13 23:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋