Good jokes or Word problems?

Question

Has any one got any reli good jokes or word problems ? thnaksxx

Answer 1

How Old Am I?

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

Answer 2

Here is a joke
There was once a village idiot.One day he happen to be in a big hotel fully shaved and elegantl dressed.Two people from the villag were drinking beer saw the village idiot and one of them said to other Look isnt he the village idio how come he is here? There one said he isnt because the village idiot does not shave and doesnot wear smart cllothes They argued for a long timieand one of them went and asked Arent you the village idot?the said Yes I am.And the said How come you shaved your beard and wear good clothes?And the village idiot said You know yesterday in my dream I multiplied 33times seven and I got 24 and I bought a lottery ticket with the last number 24 and I won 5 mililion pounds Then the man sai you are really idiot 3 times 7 is not 24 He said you are right you have the knowledge and i have the money

Answer 3

I luv adult jokes....


'Hot & Cold Sex '
An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.

After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact I do," said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting," replied the doctor, "Let me do some research and get back to you."

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then asked, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh, that old buzzard," she replied, "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time in December."

Answer 4

A plane is on its way to Cape Town when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket, She then tells the blonde passenger that she's paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Cape Town And I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that
belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she is only entitled to an economy seat and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Cape Town and I'm staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married
to a blonde, and I speak blonde!" He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry- I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Cape Town"

Answer 5

sturdy one...right here is one for you A kindergarten classification had a homework project to ascertain approximately something interesting and relate it to the class day after today. whilst the time got here to present day what that they had discovered, the 1st little boy walked as much as the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat go into reverse. puzzled, the instructor asked him basically what it grew to become into. "that's a era," mentioned the little boy. "properly, i will ascertain that," she mentioned, "yet what's so interesting some era?" "Damned if i comprehend," mentioned the little boy, "yet this morning my sister grew to become into lacking one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy around the corner shot himself." CHeeRioS

Answer 6

a plane crashed on the border of Mexico and Texas. where should the survivors be buried?



old and obvious, but if you never heard it and you speak kinda fast, it'll work.

Answer 7

Well there are alots of jokes it depend on you which type of jokes you like !!!

Answer 8

why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?


Ready?


SO he would not fall into the hot chocolate.