How could I have stopped My Wife from dying of Cancer ?

Answer 1

I am sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, there is probably nothing you could have done.

The medical community is always urging that people get screened (take tests ) for so many different cancers, get a mammogram to detect breast cancer, colonoscopy to detect colon cancer, Pap smear to detect cervical cancer...and the list goes on. However, many cancers cannot be detected or are not detected in time. For example, a woman can have a normal mammogram, and what if the cancer is just forming? She may not have another test for 1-3 years! By then it may be too late.

Medical tests are good for POSSIBLE early detection, but not a guarantee, just as wearing a seat belt doesn't mean you can't be killed in an auto accident.

All you could do was to love your wife, and hopefully you treated her with love & respect through your entire marriage.

Answer 2

We ask ourselves the same question every day. I lost my brother to cancer in October, he left behind a wife and 8 month old baby! Where is the justice in that? We were told at first that his cancer was fully treatable and he would be totally clear. However despite several doses of chemo and endless operations it didn't turn out like that. He wasn't ready to die and there was nothing we could do, we only found out he was dying the day he went! (although we have suspicions that he knew sometime before that.)
Some people believe you should pray in situations like this but if you ask me there can be no god to allow a human being to suffer they way he did. You would put your dog down for less, believe me.
In the end we were told that his cancer only affects 1 in every 10000 or so cancer sufferers and that it's so rare the specialists had no way of knowing the way it developed. If they could do nothing to help, then what hope had we?
A I can say is I truly am sorry that your wife had to suffer, but I do believe that they are at rest now. My thoughts are with you and all the hundreds of thousands of other family members left behind.
I don't think it gets easier, but I do think that we will learn to cope.
Take care.

Answer 3

Your question is vague. What type of cancer did your wife have? What was the stage and grade of the cancer? What treatment was offered her? Where did she go for treatment? What resources were available to you? There are many types of cancer that are curable in the early stages.

I am sorry for your loss. I know that there are steps that you can take to help a patient survive cancer, but it is a fight and there is no guarantee you will help them win. My son has a rare abdominal sarcoma that predominately affects boys and young adults. He was diagnosed as a stage IV when he was 17 years old. He had multiple large and different sized tumors throughout the abdominal cavity, chest wall, diaphragm, spleen, lung, and lymphatic system. We had a choice to either take him home or stay and fight. So he fought his disease and has been amazing for the past two years. He is now down to small tumors left on the liver and he is still fighting. I don't know if we can stop this progression of disease, but I do know that we will continue researching and looking for answers. The entire time that we are fighting this disease, there is also the realization that there are few options and he has already been heavily treated. Still there is always hope and we will continue this journey as long as necessary.

If you did all that you could than there is no shame in that.

Answer 4

Sadly Trev there was no way you could have stopped it. I lost my mum, my dad and my brother to this horrible disease and had it myself. I would have done anything (and did do everything I could) to find out about Cancer and how to make it better and stop them dying. There was nothing I could do. The worst thing about Cancer is that its often advanced before we realise something is wrong - this is what reduces the chance of survival. My heart goes out to you though - I know how much it hurts. xxxxxxxxxx

Billie R you heartless b!tch !!! You have obviously not been affected by this disease - god help you when you are (and most people are affected either themselves or a family member). I hope people treat you with the same nasty manner !!!!!!

Answer 5

I am sorry for your loss. I know that there are steps that you can take to help a patient survive cancer, but it is a fight and there is no guarantee you will help them win. My son has a rare abdominal sarcoma that predominately affects boys and young adults. He was diagnosed as a stage IV when he was 17 years old. He had multiple large and different sized tumors throughout the abdominal cavity, chest wall, diaphragm, spleen, lung, and lymphatic system. We had a choice to either take him home or stay and fight. So he fought his disease and has been amazing for the past two years. He is now down to small tumors left on the liver and he is still fighting. I don't know if we can stop this progression of disease, but I do know that we will continue researching and looking for answers. The entire time that we are fighting this disease, there is also the realization that there are few options and he has already been heavily treated. Still there is always hope and we will continue this journey as long as necessary.

Answer 6

Hi there, i assume you did all you could, thats all you can do in situations like this. Its hard though, you will always blame yourself and be thinking what if. But your wife would have been grateful for all that you did for her the love and care you gave so try hard not to beat yourself up about this, you did as much as possible. If you feel you cant cope alone see your doctor and ask to be referred to a bereavement councillor who will almost certanly help deal with the loss of your wife. The pain will never go, it just gets easier. take care

Answer 7

I'm so sorry for your loss. There was nothing you could have done to stop your wife dying - cancer is a nasty illness and often once it has taken hold there is little that can be done. I'm sure that her medical care did everything possible, and that you were there for her when she needed you. You could have done nothing more.

Answer 8

i feel so sad when i read this because it reminds me of questions i asked myself when my father recently passed away due to cancer. there was nothing you could have done to make things different and i am really sorry for your tragic loss. sometimes getting involved with cancer charities or groups where people have also lost their loved ones to cancer helps, i keep up to date with cancer charities work and i participate in some of the activities such as sponsered runs etc, this makes me feel better in the knowledge that i might help some of those people out there who can be cured from the life threatening disease, even though my father couldn't. x

Answer 9

You could not have done anything. Don't ever blame yourself or do "what if's". My husband is very sick with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer that has gone to his brain and other organs. There is only so much that Oncologists can do. You were there for her and supported her. You did everything right.

Answer 10

Today we accept poor health as normal. We expect to get sick regularly, and we do. We even call sickness the 'common cold'. Colds allthough common, are not natural. Our illnesses are a product of ourselves. Sickness is not our natural state.



Animals in the wild, away from humans, live out their entire life spans free from disease. As soon as we capture one of these amazing wild animals, confine it and begin feeding it un-natural food, the diseases we are so familiar with, start showing up. Cancer, Heart Disease, Obesity, etc. all can be found in the animals that we 'care for'.



When any sick or diseased human stops eating un-naturally their immune system comes to life and heals them completely. Cancers, Heart Disease, Diabetes - Type 1 & 2, AIDS, etc. They are no match for our immune system. Our bodies produce everything we need to get and stay healthy automatically, as long as we give ourselves the proper fuel. Tens of thousands (myself included) around the world have reversed their diseases and saved their own lives by learning this most ancient truth.



Many in medicine consider keeping a cancer patient alive a few years past their first prognosis to be a great success. To them, complete reversal and perfect glowing health is not an option. They tell us our health is not in our control. They blame our genes, our environment, germs, viruses, etc. They offer only mild symptom relief and short periods of remission from the latest pill, treatment or surgery they have developed. They too suffer and die from disease. The average Doctor in fact has a 10 year shorter life span than normal.



I never thought that I would have good health. Before 2001, I had spent my whole life on medications and diets. I could set my calendar by my yearly illnesses. I was on medicine for High Blood Pressure, Hypertension and Chronic Asthma as well as taking many over-the-counter medicines daily. I had begun to have regular undiagnosed hospital stays and I was approved for a radical and irreversable stomach bypass surgery called a Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch.



I walked away from that surgery, the medicines and my Doctors and began to steadily improve my diet instead. First I went vegetarian, then vegan, and finally I became Purely Raw. Today at 41, people that I meet, can't imagine me as unhealthy, much less near death. I am living in glowing perfect health and I’ll never give it up.