A SCHMALTZY CARD, A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATES in a heart-shaped box may be sweet and innocuous ways to show love and appreciation, but some Jews decide to give these gifts a pass come Feb. 14.
It’s not that they are insensitive or cynical about love; they have decided that along with other holidays with foreign roots, Valentine's Day is not for them.
The holiday's origins and development are unclear, but according to legend, it began as a pagan observance in Rome, when people prayed to Lupercus, the god of sheep and shepherds, for protection from wolves surrounding the city.
We do not know why the festival of Lupercalia came to be associated with love and romance, but it seems that at some point the custom developed for Roman girls to put their names into a jar, boys to draw them out and on that basis have a partner for a day, or according to some, a year.
In addition, the popular symbols of romantic love associated with Valentine's Day, Venus and Cupid, are part of the pantheon whose stories are told through Roman mythology. Their conception of love differs dramatically from that of the Bible.
As Rome became Christian, people nevertheless held on to the pagan customs. The pope, according to scholars, tried to bring the holiday more into line with Christian belief and Lupercalia became Saint Valentine's Day.
But unlike many other holidays transformed from their pagan origins, it never became an official Catholic day of obligation on which Christians were required to attend Mass.
Religious historians at Georgetown University note that some people dispute the entire existence of an historical St. Valentine. Some say there was a cleric, Valentinos, in the fourth century C.E. who was known for preaching in the spring about the union of men and women.
According to this theory, Valentinos died on Feb. 14. Others posit that the St. Valentine for whom the holiday was renamed lived during the reign of Claudius II and was put to death on Feb. 14 for urging the people to defy a decree that soldiers not get engaged or married.
Whatever theory you accept, St. Valentine’s Day has no connection with Jewish tradition. At The Jewish Primary Day School of Adas Israel (JPDS) in Washington, DC the children learn that you don't need a special day to show love. Judaism, says director Susan Koss, provides many appropriate ways to express different feelings. For example, every week at the Shabbat table, the husband sings "Ayshet Chayil," a passage from Proverbs praising the wife as a "woman of valor." JPDS students, like those at other area day schools, do not mark the day with exchanges of cards or gifts. Koss says that before Valentine's Day, she puts a reminder in the weekly messages to parents not to send any valentines to school.
Parents are respectful, she says, and children have no problem with the policy either. That the holiday has the name "Saint" in it makes it easy for them to understand that Valentine's Day is not Jewish. Koss says when it comes to Valentine’s Day, many American Jews are more culturally aware than in previous generations of the pagan and Christian aspects of the holiday. Jewish schools, she says, have a responsibility in this area.
Other day school administrators echo Koss. Renee Popkin, education director at the Rockville, Maryland-based Children's Learning Center, explains that the school's parent handbook forbids any celebration of the holiday at school. Popkin says that a child asking about Valentine's Day is told that "we don't celebrate that holiday at CLC." At synagogue religious schools, the question rarely comes up. Rachelle Palley, religious school principal at Congregation Olam Tikvah in Fairfax, says she deals with it only "as needed." Gloria Eiseman, school director at B'nai Shalom of Olney, explains that the students know it’s not a holiday to be observed in religious school.
Alan Reinitz, principal at Congregation Har Shalom in Potomac, has a slightly different take on the holiday and the religious school. Because the children do not expect to do Valentine's events during religious school time " in contrast to Halloween, when religious school classes may be nearly empty as the children are trick-or-treating " the schools are not forced to confront the non-Jewish nature of the holiday. Still, says Reinitz, schools may be missing out on a "teachable moment" by not bringing up the issue.
Rabbi Jack Moline of Agudas Achim Congregation in Alexandria, Virginia does not get upset when people participate in Valentine's customs on their own. But, he adds, Valentine's Day is not a Jewish holiday or an American holiday that needs to be recognized. He thinks it is wrong for a Jewish group to institutionalize its observance. So, he says, if Jewish singles' groups want to have a dance in mid-February, that's fine with him " as long as they don't call it a Valentine's party."
2007-02-15 11:28:31
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answer #7
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answered by Furibundus 6
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