1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
5) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
6) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
7) Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
8) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'
9) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
10) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
11) You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
2007-02-13 22:15:03 · 18 answers · asked by bob the monkey 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
loved number 11 lol
2007-02-13 22:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by J R S B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great laughs! Get on really well with mother in law but simply love those jokes. Wouldn’t say Mother in Law was ugly but when we went to see the Elephant man a crowd gathered around her for autographs!
2007-02-13 23:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by Cool Breeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny mate, all off them made me giggle, keep up the good work.
Smile and the world smiles back fall over and they all point and laugh.
2007-02-13 23:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by Loader2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny but a good 90% of those im sure i've herd Peter Kay say???
2007-02-14 02:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by ross s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though all the points were great, I liked the 1st and 7th most.
Thanks for a good laugh!!
2007-02-13 22:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love them. Except #9 should be.... If we aren't supposed to eat HUMANS, then why are they made out of meat? Cannibal at heart.
2007-02-13 22:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by Cannibal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
number 1 is so cute and so is numbre 6
2007-02-13 23:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
number 2 just did it for me!
great ones they are.
2007-02-14 02:47:13 · answer #8 · answered by sleekseke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!! you are a funny one... but work on number three. It wasnt very creative. the rest were great.
2007-02-13 23:06:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Top notch really funny and interesting
2007-02-13 23:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by debpcox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋