I'm a 23 yr old, uni grad in a great job, my own car and flat. I have good friends & family who tell me how pretty and smart I am. So why do all the men I've dated (all black men), or tried a relationship with, end up cheating on me or treating me like dirt? Although these men heavily pursue/woo me - they end up lying to and hurting me everytime.
For instance, my ex boyfriend decided to dump me for another girl who he claimed was his girlfriend all along! Apparently, they'd been together for 3 years until she'd gone abroad for a year, they fell out of touch and now she's back they've decided to pick up where they left off - despite the fact we'd already been together 6 months and it took him 3 months beforehand to convince me to a date.
Another ex decided he wasn't ready for a relationship after 9 months. Another ex got me pregnant and then left me when I decided not to keep it. I've been lied to, let down, cheated on. I don't know why black men treat women this way.
2007-02-13 22:01:21 · 36 answers · asked by rachel e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
try white men
2007-02-13 22:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sweety 3 · 8⤊ 2⤋
Poor girl. I understand how you feel but with what everybody has said here it may just be the black guys you date.
I feel though that almost all the good black men are taken.
Being a grad with a car and a flat doesnt mean that people will not treat you badly. If you're not compatible with someone it is impossible to have a good relationship no matter how much money you make or how smart you are.
2007-02-13 22:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mistress_T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are they persuing you, or your car and flat?
Maybe they see a situation that looks like a nice cosy arrangement and then leave or cheat when they realise you aren't compatible instead of being honest. White men can do this too. I know, I am one! Though I've never done that to anyone.
As for someone leaving you when you decide to have a termination, I think you'll find that is a common reaction when men can't handle the situation. Again, black and white both do it.
My advice? Play hard to get and lay on the line what is expected of them. If they don't like it they're not worth knowing. Give yourself the respect they haven't shown you.
2007-02-13 22:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by Bum Gravy. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you sister. But you need to come up with more than 3 and half examples before stereotype and make general statements about the zillions of black men in this world. What if as a result of your statement I said all Black women are irrational? Maybe you are just a magnet for bad men period. Start with the person in the mirror. There's your answer.
2007-02-14 07:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont be silly not all black men are like that and a lot of white guys are like that as well.i have never cheated on a girlfriend or led a girl on and im black may be if change the type of guy you go out with for instance you know what the general atitude of a person influenced by hip hop is going to be so you cant be surprised if you go out with this type of guy and he calls you a b**** or a ho and cheats on you. and whats funny must black girls wont go out with me because im not street enough like a rap video .LOL
2007-02-17 06:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ive got 2 kids 2 a black guy hes no good but dated others some good some bad they can only do wot you let them and its alot to do with how u come across 2 them and signs you give out which you may not even know.ease off men build urself esteem up be happy alone and trust ur instincts
2007-02-14 02:05:24 · answer #6 · answered by brokeno1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, white men can be just the same. Its most men in general really.
Don't worry there is someone out there for you somewhere!! maybe give men a break for a while and focus on pampering yourself for a while. Look after no 1 for at least a few months!!
You never know you may meet a decent guy when you not even looking for him.
Good luck with the future!!
2007-02-13 22:07:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I've dated black (Caribean and African) men, white men (British), Arabic and European. In all honesty, they are all the same! I think it's more their upbring and social class as opposed to their culture/race that may have a more significant determining factor.
But I do agree, I have found most of my black boyfriends have been pretty lousy compared to others! Funnily, when they start dating white women they seem to be more faithful to them (even when she looks like a dog!)
It's not racist (as some has stupidly said) it's just our experience. It's not really fair to generalise as I couldn't say that I've dated lots of guys, so like you, it's just the impression we get from personal experience and from what our friends/family tell us.
I'm dating a white guy at the moment and things are okay.
2007-02-13 22:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
LOL
but its to do with the stereo typed up bringing and how women are not percieved as people but toys
they basically treat women as animals and think women have nothing good in them
but yeah try white men
2007-02-13 23:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by Music fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, it sounds to me like the problem lies not with them, but with you! You'd better sit down and consider your screening processes for a 'boyfriend' before you point the finger at other people.
Number two, racial heritage has about as much to do with personality as length of finger nails. If you really think that a man's skin color makes him a candidate for a good or bad mate, you're probably too naive to evn BE in a relationship. Maybe you'd do better going to the library and taking out romance novel than you would in a real man/woman liason...people take real thought and emotional committment, not stereotyping and excuses!
2007-02-13 22:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Don't get stung by one or two b.guys and then generalise for ALL, please! Its not right!
It could be the wrong people with whom you got bad luck, it could be YOU, it could be a lot of other things. Whatever, just confine it into YOUR experience with THOSE whom you got the rotten deal.
I am sorry to hear that. You sound a nice girl, decent and honest, but got bad luck. I really hope that you will get your match, the real person who deserve you and your true love.
All the best!/
2007-02-13 22:21:58 · answer #11 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋